Talk

I forgot to add that he's contracted by one company but operates as self employed. And his current maintenance payments are irregular, he refuses to set up a standing order despite me asking for the last 18 months, hence the call to CMS.

He's claiming to earn about £100 per week.

Which, based upon his testimony in court, is clearly a lie. I don't know what to do. One part of me feels like contacting the inland rev to get him investigated, but on the other had he can be so nasty I don't want to rock the boat. Plus he's the world's best liar I'm worried he'd even wiggle out of an investigation from the inland rev.

Do you know whether he works as a sole trader or a Ltd company? If it's a Ltd company then I wonder whether the CSA takes dividends into account.

Thanks everyone! He's a sole trader and neither of them are on any kind of support or benefits.

She owns a 5 bed detached house in a very expensive area and her children are privately educated. He's always turning up to handovers in very expensive clothes (which ok may be gifts) but it is clear neither party is struggling financially.

Sorry frusso - didn't realise all 3 posts were yours. Thank you for the info.

Then he is well and truly screwing you and I would contact the inland revenue if I were you. What a selfish tosser.

What would she get that for though? Could that be some kind of nearby relative because everyone in the house is fit and healthy.

I'm cheesed off because he lives 3 hours away so the court ordered a meeting point halfway for handovers, but I can't afford to petrol or the wear and tear on my car.

I was let down in court by a terrible solicitor, he hired a barrister who was amazing and tore me to pieces and he lied throughout making up the most obscene stories, but the magistrates chose to believe him. I feel like he'll do all he can to have ultimate control and destroy me, which I don't understand because he was the one who had the affair and left!?!?...

In that case, it a possibility because I don't know anything about his partner or their life together.

So worried about reporting him and then him using it as another reason to be nasty, but it would be even worse if he was investigated, I got his nastiness and they concluded everything was above board. Having said that when the cma called me back they did say they could only enforce £7 due to the results from the inland revenue. They didn't say anything about allowances or support that may be being received.

I would ..what have you got to lose..He is choosing not to support his child.

report him to hmrc. I just did that to my exp and it was a good feeling. he may not need to contribute any cm through cms as he is unemployed atm, but he owns several properties, drives a brand new bmw, and is choosing not to work. he was an accountant so knows how to fiddle the book but tell the cms that you don't agree with their £7pm outcome. they can investigate his lifestyle. if they find him to be living a life of luxury they can put sanctions on him to pay up, ie force a sale of his property etc etc. seriously, do it. you deserve your fair share of cm! call cms and they can talk you through it all. I also called the whistleblower hotline at the council so they will also be investigating him. but it will be played down, they wi be as inconspicuous as possible and he probably won't even know he is being investigated, and they won't tell him anything like that.

Thank you so much for that, it's given me the confidence to pursue. When. Explained it all to the cms before, they just said that's just the way it is there's nothing I can do. I told them about his lifestyle and they just dismissed me.

Yes please do report him if you think he is paying less than he should. your child should not suffer because he is lying. it makes me mad, my exp is the same. sounds like you got unlucky talking to one particular person at cms, I was told that was why they are now taking over from csa, as in the past if someone says they are unemployed/bankrupt or earning less than what they actually are, that was that and they would take his word, but cms is now a more up to date and fit for purpose scheme who can sanctions fathers in order to get payments for cm. ie taking their driving license, bailiffs taking their possessions as payment forcing sale of property

my application with cms will no doubt come back that exp pays nothing as he is unemployed and not earning at the moment. I will then question/disagree with that outcome, and they will investigate him (and his lifestyle) and I hope he will be caught as he has in the past kept his many rental flat undisclosed to the tax man
I hope you get what you deserve op and I'm sure your exp will get his comeuppance also

When I queried it with the cms they just said they can only go by what the inland revenue come back with so if I wanted to take it further I had to report him and get him investigated. They've closed my case now so will that mean that I need to start again?

So infuriating that these exes do this kind of thing. I firmly believe he's too stupid to differentiate between the money going to me or to his son. He's out to hurt me and can't work out that by cutting money he's actually ultimately hurting our son not me.

And don't get me started on his partner. How any woman who has children of their own who go to private school, live in a detached 5 bed house etc etc can sit there and support a man contributing £7 a week is beyond me. I know if it was me I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

hmmm not 100% sure on that one, could you move this thread elsewhere for more traffic? I'm sure there are loads of ladies who have been/are going through similar and could better advise you

I feel your pain op, I'm in the same boat but just keep trying to rise above it all x

My ex did this the £7 pw (if via the CMS not Csa ) would often be due to a benefit my ex's was army disablement pension he then also claimed to be only earning £65 pw from self employment.

It turned out he had given his GF the company and all manor of things to reduce income on paper.

My cm award was £20 pm then bumped up to £69 pm using the variation process (diversion of assets and lifestyle inconsistent)

It's not easy and its stressful.

Amusingly his GF has just left him taking with her all his assets he's now no longer self employed and full of how poverty stricken he is but his payments have now gone up to over £300 a month because employed earnings are easier to prove.