Help please

[NyuNyu15]

I'm a single mum to a little girl who is nearly 18 months, I have no support from the father and my family help out once a month but I'm starting to think I have PND which is worrying I'm always sad and angry at my life (never at my daughter but at myself) now that I can't have the career I wanted to the freedom that I once had now I'm lucky to even pee on my own, I love my girl more than words can say but I am not cut out for this it is so hard to try and be happy and she picks up on it she always gives me cuddles and kisses I feel like the worlds worst mother but I'm scared to see the GP in case they say I'm faking it or try to take my baby away from me . Someone please help me , I'm losing my grip and I'm not myself anymore

[cestlavielife]

you need to go to the GP -and speak to hv there are lots of resources available to support you. it is very expensive to take your baby away - they want to work with you to keep you and your baby together. get the help you need you owe it to yourself and baby.

call samaritans if you feeling down.

[Starlightbright1]

The doctors are there to support you not take your child away. Are you on income support.. Get name down for 2 year funding which is term after 2nd birthday if eligible.

Do get yourself out to parent and toddler groups they do make it less isolating

It does get easier as they get older

[mumteedum]

Op,how close are you to yr family? Maybe you can talk to them and possibly they could give you a bit more of a break? Like pp said, get out as much as you can. Library was great for me. Classes and other mums to chat to.

It v hard doing it on your own. It won't be forever. I've managed to hang in there career wise. Mine starts school this year. Gone v fast.

[Starlightbright1]

Sereana...Can I suggest you start your own thread...Very different problems here

[Serena14]

I don't know how I only just joined :/

[mumteedum]

Serena find a topic such as lone parents or chat or whatever you fancy, then at bottom click on add thread.

Op, please do reach out to someone. Worst thing would be to say nothing. A little bit of support from family, friends or your gp might make huge difference.

[NyuNyu15]

I still haven't been yet I'm just so scared to go. Everyone is saying it gets easier but it was easier when she was about 6 months old now she is up to everything and I can't get a break. Mumteedum my parents watch her one night every 6/8 weeks but I'm needing more support even just an afternoon a fortnight but they already complain watching her every 2 months I'm just so tired and fed up I'm not me anyone I'm honestly slipping away all I do is clean up make food change nappies and im lucky if I speak to and adult once every 4 days I don't even feel like a person anymore it sounds so awful but sometimes I think maybe by ending it I can escape how awful I feel I dream of running away or just killing myself to escape this life I love my child but this is destroying me there are very little groups in my area and I can't get to them . I'm just getting more and more lonely each day and I really am starting to have a hatred for myself like never before

[Starlightbright1]

Honestly it is really different...the moment you can't leave the room. I am a child minder so do it over and over again... The tiny baby stage when they don't move it tiring just routine change feed nap over and over again with sleep deprivation thrown in( I obviously don't do that part). When they start moving it is hard they do not understand no, no idea of personal safety.

Look at getting a standing play station.. All little ones love them and it means you can leave the room..

Do look at parent and toddler groups, just getting into the pushchair and going for a walk.

If your tired get a nap when little one does.

I really do suggest you get a doctors appointment as I really do think they will support you. It may well be PND partly mixed in there.

[mumteedum]

Nyu please go to gp. It's worth checking if you have pnd.

When ds was small I was severely sleep deprived with husband who did nothing and no family near. Getting out helped. You say no groups near. What about church hall groups if there's no library or children's centre?

I know it's not helpful this moment but you need friends around if you don't have family. Need to find way of meeting other mums and building a support network.

Do you have many friends nearby? Ring people if you don't. I ring friends loads since I've been alone with ds. That contact is what makes you feel you. You're right, and normal. All day alone with baby can make you loose yourself a bit. You'll get back there though.

Little steps.

Please see gp though. (nag, sorry)

[Spopssas]

NyuNyu whereabouts in the country do you live? x

[fattymcfatfat]

Aw sweetheart it is hard no one is debying that. Especially at the toddling stage. My dd has just turned 1 and she is a terror! I live my kids ro pieces but I do feel lonely and under appreciated at times (I also have a 6yo and am almost 14 weeks preg).
You do need to see the doctor or health visitor and find some support. it can drive you crazy being around little ones all the time. Have you thought about going to college? The government will pay for childcare and it gives you chance to do something for you and meet new people. Italso gives your dd cgance to interact with children her own age so its win win