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Single parents to only children...

(3 Posts)
FloozeyLoozey Fri 02-Jan-15 07:48:56

... Who don't have any/much contact with their nrps.

Just a general support thread really to share our experiences/offer advice.

Ds is nearly 9 and I've raised him alone since birth. His dad hasn't seen him since he was a baby and provides no financial support.

I found it very tough and isolating when ds was little and really envied two parent families. Now he's older I feel sad sometimes for ds that he has no siblings, our little family seems tiny sometimes. I've usually had to work full time to provide and felt the accompanied guilt. It's hard carrying the burden of child sickness/holiday cover alone. I do get a bit envious of single parents who share care and get some free time.

On the upside, ds and I have an incredibly close relationship. He's my little pal and it just gets better as he gets older. Cause it's just the two of us, I can do lots of stuff with him now-holidays, travel etc. Two seems an easy number to cater for. I don't mind the weekends/holidays on, they're the most fun time. I like having complete control over our lives and parenting, there is no one else to consider and zero conflict in our household.

Dating can be hard, I've only had one serious relationship since ds was born but I'm only 34 and my lad will be at high school in a couple of years so there'll be time enough for that.

What are your experiences?

OP’s posts: |
Starlightbright1 Fri 02-Jan-15 13:39:08

I can say my story is very simular yo yours. A boy 7 not seen Dad since he was 3. We get £10 a fortnight ..wooohoo..through CSA.

I do think been a single parent 2 one child is easier than 2. I am a child minder so I think he knows having a brother or sister isn't the best of both worlds. I do have to make sure his friends are invited .

WE do have a very close relationship that I am really enjoying.

I know what you mean about the break , however with my Ex I would rather he was with me.. I have never dated since his Dad left partly fear of getting it wrong for him partly as I couldn't afford the childcare to date anyone regularly.

doublevenom Fri 02-Jan-15 21:17:40

I have a DS age 13 who I've raised alone since birth. We have no contact with his dad and have never got any child support either. To be honest that is something that I'm just used to now and I'm excellent at managing our finances so I think he still gets everything he needs.

We have a very close relationship, almost no conflict and things are very child-centred at home/in terms of activities we do. I've either studied or worked part-time since I've had him, so I've tended to have free weekends and holidays and I really enjoy that time with him, I don't see it as a burden.

I'm quite lucky in that I'm close to my siblings and their dc so DS gets lots of contact with other children. My parents will also happily look after DS overnight so I've been able to have hobbies, a social life and to be able to date. I wouldn't have liked to have to switch to 'date nights' at home where a man comes over for sex when you've put your child to bed, it seems a bit depressing. I'm quite young and it's nicer to have proper adult time out on the town, go to theatres and movies/dinner etc. Sometimes I've had lunch dates as well, with men who work freelance/flexibly, which is easier when DS is at school and I've got the day off.

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