Talk

No, but we haven't had to put up with him in over 5yrs so I don't expect him to appear.

Sporadic contact would drive me up the wall. Is your DS ok?

Not too bothered, has asked once or twice but it's probably for the best. It's his birthday in a few weeks, ex didn't contact last year and I'm not expecting anything this year. He said he couldn't afford it. Well, how much does a card and a second class stamp cost, just so DS knows he is being thought about? It doesn't have to be an expensive gift. I just feel sad for DS.

No contact but then none for 4 years. I think a card would be worse. I would have a debate about whether to give DS or not and then it would open up old wounds..So I think if going NC then do so..Don't bother sending a card pretending to care.

Sadly your DS is learning a tough lesson..His dad is unreliable. You can't protect him from it just support him through it. I can completely understand your anger though ..I have been through it and come out the other side

They're disgusting really. Nothing in this world should be more important than establishing and maintaining regular contact with their children. Helping raise them and delight in watching them grow. What could be more important? Disgraceful anyone that does that. And moreover so is anyone that supports them to do so. You're probably right if it's no contact for it to best it stays that way.

Yes. Only lives 10 mins away and has seen them 5 times this year, 7.5 hrs total: sent me a text on Christmas eve asking if he can see them early Christmas day as he has a 'houseful of guests he doesn't want to miss out on'. YD cried and said she didn't want to see him though she did really. ED said could he come to ours. I told him to come at 8 as we would be having breakfast and then opening presents from 9 (another 3SDs to consider) and elderly relatives staying locally but coming to us for daytimes/breakfast onwards. He bowled up hungover/still drunk at 8.25. Stayed just long enough to horrify our guests (18 mins) then left promising the girls to call them tonight (he didn't) and that he was going to be really busy so not to call him but he'd be in touch soon. ED says she doesn't care (she does) and YD having a tough day anyway with homework assignment cried herself to sleep because Daddy hadn't called.
TBH it would be much much easier all round if he just stopped the sporadic contact and let them forget him.

Yes he did actually

For the first time in four years

He also text me to wish me merry Christmas

Then I worked it out, he's split from the latest so he thinks we'll entertain him. Haha not on your nelly

My DS gets a card for birthday and christmas but hasn't seen his dad in over 2 years. Its worse, trust me, not only does it confuse them and make them have big old delusions about how fab their dad is because they sent a card but also drives your crackers. Nothing more annoying than being the one doing everything and then seeing a poxy card from an absent parent getting so much attention IYGWIM. Then realising your are being stupid for getting annoyed and jealous about a card LOL.

His idiot of a father wrote 'although we aren't together you are forever in our hearts' WTF!! seriously why write that when its his bloody decision to stay away

Yes I got a a random text asking if he could come and see DS (4next month) for a hour xmas day.

Last time he see DS was when he was 2years old, time before that was when was a newborn.

He lives in next town, the xmas card goes in the bin its such a head fuck especially as DS wants me to read who cards are from.

Nope!! Nothing on DS's 5th birthday on the 23rd, nor for Christmas. Money the first year, but he's happily playing dad to his first son, and new girlfriends child.

Yes I'm a little bitter. I can't understand why anyone would cut there children out

Oldest DD got money for a tattoo from XH. Youngest got £20. More than she has got in the last 5 years right enough. He did phone her, which I suppose is something, but i hope he didn't strain himself to remember. i dream of poisoning him discreetly at oldest DD's wedding in about 18 months

no nothing, he only liked them when they were tiny and would sit in front of the TV being quiet and clean.
they are 16 now and not a word.

He's sent ds a message on facebook saying he's put some cash in the post. He hasn't contacted ds since April, hasn't seen him for over 4 years and hasn't bothered to send him so much as a card for the past 3 Christmases (he also owes us 2k in maintenance arrears). I can't remember the last time he called to wish Ds a Happy Christmas, it's been around 9 years. Ds is and far past the point of caring.