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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

This is the first year ive actually hated being on my own

21 replies

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 24/12/2014 18:36

Lone parent for 9 years. Ive always been quite happy to fly solo but for some reason this christmas just hasnt felt the same and i'm really not enjoying doing it all myself. I'm actually quite grumpy tonight and trying to shake it off for the DCs sakes but i'm not enjoying the atmosphere or build up at all. I would love to have someone here to get excited with, do the presents with, have a wee drink with and wake up to the DCs with tomorrow morning.

I'm not asking anything. Just having a little vent as i know others here will get where i'm coming from.

OP posts:

Report

TongueBiter · 24/12/2014 18:46

I feel the same way

Jazzicatz · 24/12/2014 18:47

I know how you feel. It's 4 years for me and today I feel a little teary. I hope it gets easier for you tomorrow.

yummytummy · 24/12/2014 18:48

i feel the same. its my first alone and I have no one apart from me and dcs. their father may make an appearance but he has just had baby with new partner when we aren't even divorced yet it just rubs salt in the wound. just feel angry and resentful that everyone has someone even if not a partner but some form of relative and all that comes on tv ads is perfect couples and families. hate it just so fed up of being alone.

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 24/12/2014 18:52

Tomorrow i am going to my parents and they will spoil us. I am very lucky to have them. Not sure if DC's dad will come to see them as he hasnt been in touch. Really hope he does or they'll be gutted.

to all the rest of you LPs.

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cauliflowerfairy · 24/12/2014 20:55

Whyyougottabesorude - feel exactly the same way. It just doesn't seem fair on anyone does it. I wish the kids at least had a dad they could go to for half the day, or somebody, got headache from hell. Is so lonely

makemineapinot · 24/12/2014 20:59

Yup, feeling it too. Luckily my parents will be around tomorrow, but yes it's not the fab, fun filled family Xmas Eve I want them to have. Have gone through the motions but feel the magic is missing!!

cauliflowerfairy · 24/12/2014 20:59

Yummy tummy - feel exactly same this had just gone on too long now ds is 7 dd is 2 I've not been so down in ages - can't wait for 27th when this is all over :-( I feel so bad for the kids not having perfect John Lewis upbringing n big tree n a ratty headache mum too. What are your plans for tomorrow?

sillymillyb · 24/12/2014 21:02

I just wanted to say merry Christmas to you all, this is the first one I've felt semi ok for, but the run has been so bogged down with illness I think I've been distracted by that. I hope you all have a wonderful day

Wotsitsareafterme · 24/12/2014 21:53

I feel shit and it does seem worse this year. I have cried a lot today. Realised this week my relationship with dp is on the slide and suddenly I feel very alone again. The first xmas I was happy to be divorced and overwhelmed with baby dc2. The second year I was in a new house and feeling like I had a new life. This one the 3rd has coincided with realising lone parenting is likely to be my life for good. No one is going to sweep me off my feet by the looks of things. I need to make some big changes next year

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 24/12/2014 23:11

Hugs to all. Exp decided to phone at 8pm after the DCs had been in bed for an hour and insisted i got them up to speak to him. I should have refused but i didnt. Ds2(5) has been unsettled since and has woken 3 times now. He is still awake and my dad is due any minute to drop off their bikes (i have no hidden storage here).

Also i hardly slept last night as i have gotten it into my head that someone is going to break into the house to steal the presents. Probably wont sleep tonight either for same reason.

Just feeling generally crappy and little things seem much bigger than normal.

OP posts:

foslady · 26/12/2014 11:02

I'm struggling this year too. Holding everyone's hand till the secs come down and officially over.....

foslady · 26/12/2014 11:03

Bloody phone -DECS!

And trying to keep holding it together

Twinklebells · 26/12/2014 11:04

Same here - this year has felt really tough. Kind of want to take tree down tomorrow and forget about this year all together!

ArcheryAnnie · 26/12/2014 11:47

WhyYouGotta argh, that's a pain. I know that one - if you'd refused you'd have got the whole "why are you keeping my children from speaking to me on Christmas Eve" routine.

It was just me and DS, but I didn't feel I was on my own, because he was here. I even suggested he went to ex's for xmas lunch, which he enjoyed and which gave me a couple of hours to ring my sisters, etc. I wonder how I will feel when he's old enough to want xmas elsewhere? I hope I will have the fortitude to knock back and relax and use it as a chance to get up close and personal with some box sets, but we will see.

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 26/12/2014 11:51

if you'd refused you'd have got the whole "why are you keeping my children from speaking to me on Christmas Eve" routine.

Yes and he hadnt said whether he was going to see them on xmas day so speaking to them on the phone on xmas eve might have been the only contact they were going to get. Thankfully he did come to see them yesterday so they werent let down.

I'm also wondering if its ok to tale the deca down yet? I just want it back to normal.

OP posts:

ArcheryAnnie · 26/12/2014 12:24

You could take down and pack away any extras but leave the tree up for the DCs?

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 26/12/2014 12:26

Yes i think i'll do that. Need to reclaim my mantelpiece and living room window.

OP posts:

Wotsitsareafterme · 26/12/2014 22:32

Not just me then that wants rid of the xmas tree! Bloody thing. I just want to get back to my decluttering
I can handle January but this it in between emotional xmas and then is also shit.
I cried shit loads yesterday night because I was alone. Now the bloody day is over I feel bit better

whyMe2014 · 28/12/2014 10:55

I felt so isolated this year...I've been seriously ill, my husband left for OW in August and my mum passed away of 16th Dec. Have to get through xmas for children. Tried to created different traditions but I'm empty inside. Stbxh kept texting me all xmas day. Christmas was never important to him. He is a nasty piece of work.

Can't wait to take decs down and then I've got a court case to look forward to. Roll on 2016.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 28/12/2014 12:11

whyme am so sorry about your mum

I hope that 2015 brings you many happy times and that your health improves

whyMe2014 · 18/01/2015 17:36

Thank you 'IgnoreMe' for your kind thoughts.

Sometimes I think 'roll on 2016' but you can't wish your life away.

My mum was content in her life with the love of her family and even though she lost her own father on Christmas Eve she always enjoyed Christmas and made it special for us so I will continue to make it special for my girls to honour her. Maybe we will light a candle for her next year and add it to our Christmas traditions.

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