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What can I do?

(5 Posts)
nugget05 Thu 18-Dec-14 11:37:33

I desperately need some advice because I have no idea what I'm meant to do or how sad . I've been single since I was 5 months pregnant and my ds is now 6 months grin I'm coming up to the 3 months unpaid maternity leave and I'm having nothing but problems money wise. I was really responsible during my pregnancy and saved enough money for deposit on a house and months rent in advance, with enough left to cover me for the 3 months I won't be getting paid and to cover travel/childcare costs when I go back to work until I get paid. I moved into my new house which in summer and since then it's been 1 problem after another. Housing benefit didn't sort out my claim for a month and when they finally did they only sent me a cheque for half the money and so I covered the rest of the rent out of my smp and savings thinking they'd sort it out but they haven't it's happened every month and now I have no savings left at all, this month I had to use my 80% of my smp to cover the rest of the rent and I'm sat here wondering how the hell I'm gonna cope for 3 months with nothing. Ds's father gives me money for him each month which just about covers what he needs. I can't go back to work early as they have covered me, I have no childcare and no family to help out. I can't get childcare near my work (I work 2 hours away) local nurseries don't open early enough and close too early to cover the hours if need to work to afford the childcare. I suffer from depression and anxiety anyway and the thought of leaving him makes everything so much worse sad I don't know what to do and I have no rl support it's just me and ds. Any advice would be great even if it's telling me to suck it up and get on with it

PurpleStripedSock Thu 18-Dec-14 12:11:10

Hi, there is no reason why you can't go back to work if that is what you want/need to do. Your cover is just that, someone temporarily covering the role which is held open for you to return to.

I have travelled with my baby up to two hours to place her in nursery near to my office. It's not always easy but it's also not that difficult. I carry her in a sling jolly her along the train ride.

Will the housing benefit team pay backpay when and if they sort out the payments or are they only paying you half of what you were expecting? Are there any other benefits you could be claiming and why is the baby's father only paying a minimal amount towards his support?

It sounds like a tough situation, especially at this time of year. Good luck.

cestlavielife Thu 18-Dec-14 12:17:26

is there any reason why you cant move to be nearer your work or change job to work nearer home?

speak to your gp tho about your anxiety/depression.

nugget05 Thu 18-Dec-14 12:34:37

I work in Central London and I have no hopes of being able to afford a flat anywhere near work I'm already as near as I can be. The plan was for me to take ds to a nursery near work but they prioritise places to people living in the local community and I wouldn't know if ds was given a place until it'd be too late to find another nursery and get him settled. I have to give 2 months written notice to change my ml even if it's going back early.
Housing benefit pay most of my rent but it's working out I'm only getting half a month each month and I've tried calling them and all they say is they'll look into it. I'm tempted to rent out the 2nd bedroom as ds is in mine, I can't even have him in another room my anxiety gets too bad sad but then my worry is having someone else in the house.
My other option is getting a weekend job until I got back to work but I have the same issue with leaving ds, I've left him once and I had a massive panic attack and had to come home, his dad sees him at my house for a couple hours a week and won't spend more time with him unless he can take him same with money he won't help out unless I let him take ds for the weekend but I wouldn't e able to cope.
I've made an appointment for next week because even if I go back early or get a weekend job I'll be useless and won't leave ds

ExtraVolume Thu 18-Dec-14 12:49:15

Its hard when you first leave your child. You have to be really happy with who you have chosen. What about a childminder?

Yes go to the doctors. Also do you go to baby groups as you may make friends who might be able to help with childcare once you have built up a friendship.

Go to citizens advice as someone needs to kick Housing Benefit if they are not sorting it out. When my (then) husband got made redundant it took six months for them to pay us, lucky for him I was able to cover the rent for both of us.

Do you know how much his dad earns? Work out the minimum he should be paying here. He should be contributing to housing/heating costs for dc, not just paying enough for nappies. If he is paying under now, tell him you will have to go to the new CSA, which will cost him extra. Hopefully that will be enough to sort it out properly. Children get more expensive once they start swimming, activities, birthday party invites even before you get to teens wanting flash presents, so don't set yourself up short on what he contributes.

Contact at your house might be ok for a baby but think about what you want long term.

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