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Exh and access

(3 Posts)
xmasbaby2014 Fri 12-Dec-14 15:35:15

Dh and i separated last year, we have 2 dcs aged 12 and 8. We are in the process of sorting access etc through court. Back at the very beginning I offered 3 weekends out of 4 from friday eve until sunday eve. Also 2 hours one eve a week. That worked fine at first but recently ex has started texting most weeks looking for extra time. He'll text on sunday half an hour before they're due home and ask to keep them an hour late or on a friday morning to ask if he can take them early. Now i always say yes and I dont mind flexibity, as long as it works both ways. But it doesn't. He refuses any flexibility on his part at all.
Also tbh I'm sick of hearing from him. He has been warned by the judge that he is only allowed to contact me about access or if its absolutely necessary to do with the dcs due to a history of controlling behaviour and dv, and I feel these texts are just another way of him trying to exert some control. Would i be wrong to just tell him to stick to the agreed times and stop contacting me?

inthename Sat 13-Dec-14 15:41:22

If its going through court at the moment then just stick to the agreed times. If he wants extra and you/your dc want to do it then ask that he gives a bit more notice than at the time. When is the court hearing due to be concluded?

AmyElliotDunne Sat 13-Dec-14 15:51:50

Would i be wrong to just tell him to stick to the agreed times and stop contacting me?

No, that's exactly what you should do. You've been more than generous with the 3 weekends plus extras, especially if he's phoning at the last minute. It must be unsettling for the DCs too, not knowing the plan until the last minute.

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