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Do I have to drop off and pick up?

(9 Posts)
sandra159 Tue 02-Dec-14 17:46:10

Court ordered alternate weekend contact.
Because he has no car I offered to drop off and collect, not in the order, it was arranged with his solicitor.
First week he threw the contact book at me down the garden path!
Second we we arranged I would drop them at his mums instead, at pick up she wasn't in so I had to go to his.
This week at drop off she wasn't in again so again I had to go to his, at pick up I why straight to his where he slammed my car door so hard the car shook then he threatened me a then chased my car! shock Kids were in tears!
So I've told his solicitor in future I'm happy to drop off, I can watch the kids go inside and leave, likewise I'd like him to drop off, he can watch them come inside and leave. I'm not happy waiting round or havin to leave my car to knock on doors and open myself up to conflict.
His solicitor told me no. No way, it was to continue from his mums!
I told her he could always consider public transport or a taxi, it's 3 miles!!!
Why do I have to do all the leg work? My petrol, I get NOTHING from his financially.

MrsSnail Tue 02-Dec-14 17:48:56

If its not in the order dont do it. If he takes you back to court, explain why. He doesn't get to threaten you when you're doing him a favour

sandra159 Tue 02-Dec-14 17:51:22

I don't want to look awkward but I am doing him a favour yes.
I also stated that in future if his mum wasn't in, the children would be returned home with me.

HonestLie Tue 02-Dec-14 17:55:37

Stop doing it, it's not in the order. Go back to court. Alternatively go to his Mums and film you knocking the door to the conclusion of answer/no answer so you can prove you went. If there is no answer take your kids home.

Are the children safe/happy going to him?

sandra159 Tue 02-Dec-14 18:01:20

Yeah they're fine, upset at this weeks events obviously.
Just feel like I'm sticking my neck out for him and getting grief in return, a bloody thank you would have been nice!

fuzzywuzzy Tue 02-Dec-14 18:02:34

I wouldn't do it.

Write to his solicitor say you are not prepared to place yourself at such risk any longer and he needs to arrange both pick up & drop off.

Are the children safe with him?

sandra159 Tue 02-Dec-14 18:45:12

Apart from his shit parenting skill I suppose they are. Although this week I have cause for concern.
He's not supposed to drink, in 2007 he was told his had substance induced psychosis. He can't drink without doing drugs, they just go hand in hand with him and he has a low alcohol tolerance.
So DS said this week he'd been drinking vodka and red bull and "them jagger things" think he meant jaeger! Bit later we were watching TV and DS blurts out "dad had a massive nose bleed this morning!"
So with the drink, the nose bleed and the aggressive behaviour on pick up, what alarm bells would ring in you ears?

HonestLie Tue 02-Dec-14 19:50:30

Hmmm certainly doesn't sound good. Sounds like him and my ex would get on quiet well.

Given this info I think you should try and get back to court. Request drug tests too.

sandra159 Tue 02-Dec-14 19:53:16

Definitely am doing, social services are involved because they don't deem him "responsible" and eldest is under a CIN plan. Trying to get hold of them all week so as soon as I do I shall request it as they need to assess him anyway.

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