DS will be one this week, I've been on my own since I found out I was pregnant. My ex demanded a dna test, which we done when ds was born, I paid for the test!
Since the results came back as he was the father I've not heard a word from him, he's not paid any money towards his son either.
I'm getting a little fed up now of paying for everything and not even being able to afford basic toiletries for myself. Babies dad has 3 other children, one of whom lives with him and 2 from previous relationship who he sees on a regular basis, its just my ds which he completely ignores.
I've been thinking about going to csa for some time but guess I'm a little nervous that things will blow up, including his current girlfriend finding out that he has another son which he has not told her about.
I guess what I'm asking is should I go to the csa and should he be at least paying for his son, or should I just leave him get on with his life and concentrate on being the best mum i can be to my son, without his money??
Yes it is your right to claim.. I didn't claim for my ex for a while as I preferred no contact. As soon as he wanted contact I went to CSA. I didn't go to prevent opening a can of worms. IT is now the cms
All new claims are handled by the Child Maintenance Service and you need to contact CM Options who will encourage you to try to come to a family based arrangement before applying. See the CM Options website.
An allowance will be deducted from his income for the child living in his household before the CMS calculate child maintenance. That amount will then be divided by three for each child not living in his household and you will only receive a third for your child. Bear in mind there are fees for applying (£20) and if the CMS collect the money you will be charged 4% of the amount you receive.
Therefore you may be better off contacting your ex and trying to come to an agreement between yourselves in the first instance. The calculator in tools section of the CM Options website will give you an idea of the amount you would get if the CMS process an application. However there is a possibility the father may agree to pay more than the CMS would calculate his payments. If no agreement can be reached you could apply to the CMS and he would pay an extra 20% of the calculated maintenance if the CMS collect payments so there is every incentive for him to reach agreement too.