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Letting him down already? :-(

(7 Posts)
LJARoo Wed 26-Nov-14 04:26:12

Hello everyone. My baby is 12wks old and I feel like i'm doing an awful job :-( I am a single parent and have been from the very start. People keep telling me it will get easier .. i hope that is true. I don't really have a support network, don't get me wrong I have great friends who will watch him for an hour or 2 but I think I just need sometime to myself to think before I go crazy. I feel as if I am on high alert every minute of every day, I also feel i'm rushing everything, like there's no time to do anything and I just cannot relax. I just want to enjoy my baby as this time is never going to come back. Sometimes i'm just so tired I don't even want to speak to anyone and feel like i'm not interacting with him properly so I AM missing this moment with my baby which I will never get back :-( Thanks for listening/Reading. Lisa x

foolsrushin Wed 26-Nov-14 09:30:31

Aww Lisa listen if you feel like that trust me you are doing your job perfectly fine. Take it from someone whos done it a few times already. Your baby is still very young and it does get easier but its a slow process. I found forums like this and apps very useful. They offer me reassurance even though I've done all this before. Wonder weeks is a good app as it tracks babys development and signs of what they will be doing. So if they're grumpy and won't stop crying although its exhausting you'll know its a development thing. If you continue to feel like this though speak to your GP. Don't feel like you are letting him down all he wants is a clean bum, food, cuddles and warmth. If you are doing that he isn't missing out on anything.

Pointlessfan Wed 26-Nov-14 09:35:37

Sorry you are having a rough time. It is really hard work looking after a baby so don't feel you have to do everything, things like housework can definitely wait!
Are there some local baby groups you could go to to meet other new mums and start forming a support network. I've found them invaluable this year since DD was born. It's especially nice when someone there just makes you a cuppa and a biscuit and you can sit down and talk to some other grown ups for an hour!

Starlightbright1 Wed 26-Nov-14 14:54:29

I was doing it on my own from when my baby was tiny...It does get easier is true but not helpful at the minute.

Try and do what is important. I was at your Little ones age I was running about cleaning till early hours of the morning as I was scared I would never catch up. I was wrong.. You can catch up.

Do internet shopping , batch cook or stick something in slow cooker in the morning if you have one.

It is completely exhausting at this age. You are not failing her. IF you weren't tired I would be more tempted to think you were.

cestlavielife Wed 26-Nov-14 15:57:42

you are doing fine. even with support it's easy to feel that way with a small baby!

longer term, you do need to reach out and build a support network whether thru post natal groups or whatever. put yourself out there go to all of the breastfeeding etc classes you can.

LJARoo Wed 26-Nov-14 20:22:29

Thanks guys for your comments and support :-) I went to the first baby group today but it wasn't quite what I expected. Everyone there has a partner or is married, I felt so anxious beforehand, I was nearly sick but I just kept telling myself you may meet some friends! But I just didn't fit in. I'm not sure why I felt like that as i'm usually a confident person and don't let much phase me. I'm still going to go next week as baby liked it and he needs to be around other babies but I can't say i'm looking forward to it. Maybe next week will be different and I won't feel as anxious, I hope so x

Starlightbright1 Wed 26-Nov-14 20:28:20

Try it for a couple of weeks if it doesn't work try another one..When My DS was 15 months old we moved to a new town where we knew no one. I went to a few. One I never returned to, one I went but never enjoyed and one I loved and still am friends with the organisers on FB.

One thing I will tell you is once you start to get to know these people it isn't all hearts and flowers. They might be a couple I know many couples who all the child rearing has been left to mum.

Well done for going.

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