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Church and religion and ex's

(13 Posts)
Fiddlerontheroof Mon 17-Nov-14 08:39:01


My ex is now married to the OW, and she is a regular church goer ( this kills me, as having screwed each other for five years behind my back, and then lied about the whole committing adultery thing in order to have a full blown church wedding she and him clearly have no morals.

That bit now, makes me laugh, though at the time it was crappy. However, I don't do religion, in fact I'm very anti it, and while I respect those who do choose religion for whatever reason, I don't choose it for me or my kids. They can make their own minds up when they're older.

But now, they are starting to take them to chapel....and I'm not impressed. I should add, that until he met her, there wasn't a religious bone in my ex's I'm a bit fecked off tbh.

I've not said anything yet....would you, or shall I just leave it. It's just going against all my beliefs

Ta x

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Fiddlerontheroof Mon 17-Nov-14 12:51:44

Just bumping smile x

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LadySybilLikesCake Mon 17-Nov-14 12:55:13

Do your children want to go?

Fiddlerontheroof Mon 17-Nov-14 13:12:05

Not really ds5 would rather be playing football, and he's making dd11 miss some of her school rehearsal this Sunday to go. He only sees them once a week on a Sunday and refuses to have them overnight, despite living less than 5 mins away. I'm really struggling with this though, it's not an environment I want the kids in, but worried if I kick up a fuss they'll do it even more just to piss me off ( standard behaviour)

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LadySybilLikesCake Mon 17-Nov-14 13:17:13

I think your children need to tell them to be honest. When ds used to see his father I didn't get a say in what they did (fair enough to be honest), but he didn't get a say in what I did with ds either. It does seem off that he only see's them for one day but chooses to do this, it's hardly quality time with your children.

I'm anti religion too and ds's father 'found God' hmm God didn't tell him to pay maintenance though, the court had to do that. I'd be pretty pissed if he took ds to a church but it's good to experience other cultures and religions in the hope that he'll decide what's right for him in the future.

Lorelei353 Mon 17-Nov-14 13:23:51

If you want your kids to make their own mind up when they're older then perhaps allowing them to see what goes on is a good thing. It's just broadening their experience. I'm sure they'd rather not go but that's not really up to them. Their father is practicing now so it's fair to want to take them.

I'm totally anti-religion by the way, but I just think there's not much you can do here and it's not going to harm them to be given information.

Fiddlerontheroof Mon 17-Nov-14 19:28:07

I think what's grating is that their Dad is only practising to appease his wife. But ok, I can see your point that they should experience it...but it's not like I'm going to haul them round every temple, mosque, synagog etc in the area is it? So they aren't getting a balanced view...that's what I feel anyway.

And ha ha...yup...God didn't tell my ex to have the kids overnight when my heating broke down and the house was freezing either....and he certainly didn't tell him that it would be important for him to be at his daughters leavers concert and school prom and start of secondary school....rather than on holiday in Turkey...he moves in mysterious ways...

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LadySybilLikesCake Mon 17-Nov-14 19:38:47

I totally agree with you. He sounds well under her thumb to be honest. I don't think there's a lot you can do about this though, I'm sorry. I'd be teaching them to speak up and not fall for what they say.

They do go to the Mosque/Church for a visit when at school by the way.

STIDW Tue 18-Nov-14 01:49:48

When our children where younger they wanted to go to church with their friends. I'm agnostic but I don't think children experiencing a religion so they can make up their own minds from an informed position when they are older is a bad thing. Parental Responsibility is joint and equal. Neither parent has a predominant right to choose a child's religious upbringing.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 19-Nov-14 23:37:17

how odd. let's hope church will teach them something.

the children in the mean time, may be put off by the hypocrisy... or they will learn something and call your ex out on his behaviour.

perhaps you should support you childrenlearning about christianity, or judaism... starting with the ten commandments... thou shalt not commit adultery.. or some of the minor prophets ranting about forgetting the wife of your youth... fgrin

islandmama Wed 19-Nov-14 23:49:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

number1daddy Thu 20-Nov-14 15:45:32

Yep let's not get me started. my ex had my son christened behind my back and found out on Facebook a few years ago

LadySybilLikesCake Thu 20-Nov-14 18:10:46


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