What is your monthly income ? How do you manage ?

[mummymcphee]

after tax my monthly income is £1800.00 or £450.00 per week and this is to feed and house me, my toddler and my parents. I get no maintenance from my ex despite contacting the CSA and because my job is just over the threshold for benefits I am not entiltled to any! My job would not be viable if I worked less than 30 hours a week. I have a loan and 2 credit cards which I have been using to pay for childcare approx £200 -300 per month.

My parents are retired and have rented their house out to come and live with me but are only able to manage DD twice a week as she is so active. They do help with food bills.

Should I be managing on this income...what do other single parents have to get by on ? Not sure how I am going to pay for Christmas.....

[ScrambledEggAndToast]

Just added it up and including salary from full time job, tax credits etc it's £1733 PCM for me and DS. Fortunately, I don't have to pay for childcare for him as he is nearly 12 so he just comes home from school and waits for me. Sometimes he goes to his grandma's if he wants some company. I get HB so as soon as I get that it goes into my savings account until it's needed (I only get £40 p/w) and when I get CTC I do the same to put towards the rent. I get the rest from my salary.

Have you looked on the money advice boards. There is loads of good advice there about batch cooking/changing utility suppliers etc. Those are things I have done and it helps. I save £40pcm towards Christmas. Too late for you this year but a good idea for next year if you can afford it.

[bellediva]

About 2k. From that I have up until recently been paying 1300 per month childcare....then mortgage and all other bills. I have no money left over after bills for frivolities etc. No new clothes for me in 3yrs, bar a new sports bra purchased last wk! Food very basic. I realise its hard but lots of people have this sort of struggle! Im just thankful I have a happy child, a job and a roof over my head.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Why are you supporting your parents? If they are charging rent for their own house, and also drawing a pension they must have quite a lot of money to spare. Stumping up for food only seems quite stingy to be honest. Heating bills must be increased if they're at home all day - do they not pay towards that?

[mummymcphee]

Thanks for sharing scrambled. I was a worried about asking about something as personal as income!!

I had a quick look at the money boards and they look helpful. Basically I have been told I would be better off if I worked less as I would then be entitled to tax credits.....I think the cut off is 26 K. I am not in a position to reduce my hours.

I am a bit gutted as a family with 2 incomes got the early years funding from September where as I am not entitled to it till January as my DD was born 2 weeks after theirs. It just seems crazy!!

When I get paid in 10 days time I will by basic Christmas stuff before money runs out!! DD has asked for a bike :-(

[mummymcphee]

Belle lol ..... I am currently wearing black tights under leggings to cover up holes!!! Nice clothes are a distant memory. A healthy child and a job you enjoy are of course priceless.

Curly you are right my dad has a very low pension as he has been unemployed for 35 years. My mum worked but I think doesn't want to leave herself short. Every time I ask her to talk about money she storms off. i need to ask them to pay for DD's nursery fees for a couple of weeks per month but I am not looking forward to mums reaction. They are on a 2 week holiday in scotland at the moment.

[grumpyoldgitagain]

How old is your dd

My 2 have outgrown there first bikes and I am sure we still have one in the shed if the size is ok you are welcome to it

[mummymcphee]

Aww thanks grumpy....that's kind of you. She is 3 and will need one with stabilisers etc.....we are in South Devon though. Someone at work told me to keep my eyes open for a second hand one !!!

I think going through this experience of having absolutely no cash for extras is going to make me more resourceful in the longer term. That must be the silver lining.

[bellediva]

Well look you clearly cant carry on like this. Are u sure about benefits? I earn over 30k and get some childcare tax creds. You must be able to get something? I think you should check again.

Why was your dad unemployed for 35yrs? Understand your mum might be holding onto her cash, but they cant expect you to carry them....especially not when they can swan off on a 2 week jaunt to Scotland!

[gamerchick]

It's the supporting 2 extra adults is why you're struggling Imo.

Time for a sit down and frank talk with them I think.

[ghostspirit]

i get 1725. i work part time, i get tax credits and all my rent is paid.

[grumpyoldgitagain]

Just had a look in the shed and the bike is a toys r us jewels and pearls girls bike

If you google it you will find info on it and a pic

Says it is suitable from 3 upwards and we still have the stabilisers
Only thing is my girls used to leave it out and the rubber hand grips have perished (and i will look and see if i can sort these) but everything else looks ok

If you want it pm me as I can clean it up stick it in a box and courier it to you

[mummymcphee]

I rang the tax credits people on Friday and there was apparently no leeway. I am earning slightly too much.

You must have had higher childcare costs Belle. I have been looking into getting an evening job when parents are here to look after DD (cleaning but would give me spare cash for a bit extra).

My dad had a breakdown when I was 6 and my mum has untreated bipolar and so I suppose to not rock the boat I have just kept my mouth shut and paid the bills.

When they move out gamer (April 2015) I am hoping to rent their room out or get a single parent houseshare but would be crucial to get the right person.

[Fairylea]

I used to be in your situation and supported my mum financially while she lived with me and my dd. I ended up in 26k of debt trying to keep it all going and failing miserably. Your parents need to support themselves. It's not your responsibility to do that. It was only when I met my now dh and we asked mum to move out (she was horrible to me and dh, very long story, she has severe depression and alcoholism) that I began to feel more on track. At first it was awful and I felt so terribly guilty but long term it's been for the best.

[mummymcphee]

Thanks grumpy you are like a christmas fairy! I will pm you and of course cover postage costs and can sort handgrips etc from here.

Need to get tea on so will pm during Downton once dd in bed :-)

[grumpyoldgitagain]

Don't worry about postage costs

I get good courier rates with the amount I send out through the summer when I am busy with work, it doesn't weigh very much and the box will be within size limits to send for a good rate

Just happy it is able to go to someone who can make use of it

[mummymcphee]

Homeland is having to sub for Downton.....will have to wait for Christmas special.

Fairylea....I am on my way to that much debt. Have been putting off a serious chat with mum and dad about finances as wanted to avoid them being difficult whilst I have been feeling low and tired. Need to do it when they are back this has to stop.

Need to get in touch with the lovely grumpy!

[LadySybilLikesCake]

Your parents need to help out with the bills as well as the food, and why is your ex not paying maintenance? I have a lot more coming in but I work 60 hours + a week and get maintenance. I also get DLA (I have MS).

[mummymcphee]

Thanks ladysibil I work for the nhs so pre dd I would work 60 hours per week but only got paid 37.5 hours.

I did ask recently if I could go up from 30 hours to full time again but this was refused and tbh my extra time with dd has been precious. I am only likely to have one dc and time has galloped past.

Ex is in a new relationship and can only afford holidays and extras if he ignores dd. I am leaving it with the CSA as I have got nowhere myself and he has threatened me with the police if I contact him about anything to do with DD.

[LadySybilLikesCake]

Oh, that sucks He sounds like a real catch. I had to go to court (mine left the UK when ds was 3) so he wasn't a willing payer either.

Are there things that you can do from home to increase your income a bit? You really should tell your parents just how much they are costing you.

[grumpyoldgitagain]

Got your pm

Mondays are always a bit hectic but will get it cleaned up and on its way by midweek and pm you the courier details once I have them so you know to expect it

[mummymcphee]

Thanks grumpy! You are a star

Hopefully I will to pass on the favour to someone by this time next year! You have thrown me a little lifeline today.

Ladysibil I have dusted off my sewing machine but need to seriously improve my skills before I will be earning much. I think my ex will end up in court before he supports DD....his last conversation with me 2 years ago was a rant about taking responsibility.

[antimatter]

I think it i swort remembering that 3 year old doesn't need lots of presents for christmas.
Make tree decorations with her, maybe bake cookies, decorate and hang on the tree.
I think it is important for you to know you aren't spending money you don't have. Debt will make you stressed and unhappy.

I have much older kids (15 and 17), their dad pays 500 a month, I earn 2750 after tax, but I am out of the house for 11-12 hours (pay more than 15% of my net income for commuting). It would not have been possible to be out of the house for so long when my kids were still in primary school.

Keep working, in long term it will pay and when your dd is much older you will be earning good money and progress in your career.

[mummymcphee]

Thanks antimatter wow you work a long day! I agree that keeping things simple with baking, a christmas film and a few inexpensive gifts.

I have worked since I was 16...well over 20 years and I suppose I am just disappointed I don't have more to show for it!! I am pretty much as far as I can go within NHS on the career ladder.

[HereBeHubbubs]

My Lone Parent Monthly Income On Benefits

[scoobydooagain]

If you work for the NHS, you should be able to get child care vouchers, so save on your NI and tax. I started using these when I was no longer eligible for tax credits to help with childcare costs and they are a big help and application was easy and quick.