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Bloody xmas big family adverts!

(20 Posts)
AnyoneForTardis Sat 15-Nov-14 17:53:04


Not that I want to begrudge anyone who has family , and DC and I have our own little traditional xmas, and Id rather be alone than be like an eastenders xmas day. but.....

all adverts/films always showing a happy harmonious full family, dad mom kids and grandparents over xmas.

we don't have ANYONE else. no extended family and no more friends (been let down big time) and just feel so low over this time.

aslo council have decided to up my bedroom tax (for a disabled adapted extra boxroom) right now. we cant move out, DC cant cope with another move (10 moves on 13 years because of her disabilities), our bloody fecking neighbours spoilt xmas last year with their anti social behaviour and this year will be the same.

no loving husband and father for us. no xmas dinner as well have to scrimp and save for the basics (luckily I got dcs couple of presets early this year in the sales for this xmas so shell have something).

fucking HATE being a lone parent (even tho DC and I are close), especially at this time of year.

sorry, another self pity rant.

Aliennation Sat 15-Nov-14 18:08:08

I was just about to join you in your rant when ds came up to me and gave me a massive hug, it was just what I needed and has mellowed me somewhat.
However I was in tears stripping the beds earlier as I am so bloody exhausted at the moment. Had to drag ds round the supermarket this afternoon where he excitedly pointed out all the things he'd like but won't be getting for Christmas sad.
Your situation sounds really hard, sorry you've no practical help.
Have some wine and flowers
ps. I don't watch tv ads, ever, it helps.

AnyoneForTardis Sat 15-Nov-14 18:14:26

Im stopping watching ads too! glad your DS gave you a hug, its much needed iasnt it?

mines just turned teen and even tho we're close the hugs seem to have suddelny stopped from her and its a bit upsetting too as she the only one who I ever get hugs from!

know what you mean abut being exhausted.

know ill also be NOT listening to 'lonely this xmas' and 'a winters tale' either!

Aliennation Sat 15-Nov-14 18:35:27

I'm dreading the hugs stopping, hopefully got a few more years yet, he even told me I'm the best mummy ever today despite the fact I've been a right grump.
Go and demand a hug off your teen right now, Tis your right smile.

AnyoneForTardis Sat 15-Nov-14 18:49:11

aww, you ARE the best mummy, that makes up for everything doesn't it?

DC and I are a 'team'. and a family in our own right but I alwsya feel theres a missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle IYKWIM.

I want a man in our lives and DC deserves a good father, shes never had one.

DC does tell me Im 'cool' and 'funny' even though Im a right grump too!

Aliennation Sat 15-Nov-14 19:26:15

Careful what you wish for. Just had a friend on the phone bending my ear about her OH, they have a very dramatic relationship hmm. Makes me relieved to be single, couldn't cope with drama.

I firmly believe children are happier with one loving parent in a stable environment than two who fight or like my friends OH, are just plain disinterested in their kids.
You are all they need. ((hugs))

SmilesandPilesOfPresents Sat 15-Nov-14 23:18:02

Look at the other side of it though..

Are you wasting your life a crap relationship, or even wasting your time on a crap friendship? No! That's something to celebrate

Are you happier now than you were when you first broke up? Yes! Something to celebrate.

Are the kids doing ok at school despite you doing it ALL on your own? Yes! That's something to celebrate

Are the kids looking forward to Christmas, despite the ads of happy families? Yes!

Are you still managing to keep your heads above water? Yes! Bloody good on you!

There is so much more to be happy about than there is to be miserable about. yes, it does get to you but do those days really happen as often as it seems like it? I'll bet they don't.

You're strong (stronger than even you thought you'd be), independent, determined, capable, loving, caring and a trooper. How on earth can you be sad when you have all that going for you?

Try not to let everything build up on top of you. Wallow in it for a little while if that's what you need, but remember how far you've all come since the first lone parent days when everything was all up in the've all done and acheived so much despite everything.

klog Sat 15-Nov-14 23:59:03

i agree with smiles.

i really pity all the couples that hate each other but haven't the balls and the ovaries to just split up. christmas makes it all more miserable and stressful.

meglet Sun 16-Nov-14 18:42:28

aaw smiles that's really sweet smile. I can only add a shallow one, although I think it has vital seasonal importance....

Will you get first dibs on the chocolate selection box? yes!

Funnily enough I started putting together my Xmas day order this afternoon. With the exception of the chicken (have you seen the price of organic turkey!!!!) everything else is pre-prepared. Less time in the kitchen will give me a fighting chance of cleaning the kids clutter off the table and making it festive grin.

anyone when I asked the dc's to describe in me in one word, they said "bossy....and funny!" So we must be doing a good job.

AnyoneForTardis Sun 16-Nov-14 18:54:16

smiles every year DC prays to God/santa/whover for a husband for mummy and a dad for her.

I don't say anything in front of her or anything and she accepts its just us, but she sees families togethjer and just seems aware of things.

she said once to me 'mum I love you, we're a good team, but I don't like going to bed and leaving you alone, you need a husband to sit with!''


number1daddy Thu 20-Nov-14 01:49:06

Why can't adverts be a mix of single parents too. though my son is not bothered anyway

AnyoneForTardis Thu 20-Nov-14 16:40:31

Number you're right, there should be really, its a fact of life there are many 1 parent families, they should be remembered too.

DC asked me once on Xmas DAY, ''why haven't I got a dad to help me open presents''?

felt sorry for her (not my fault whatsoever Im a LP ) but a bit miffed too, as I was helping her!!

number1daddy Thu 20-Nov-14 17:31:11

don't take it to heart. kids say things but only as they hear about it from school. my son talks at times about his Mum though loves it being just the two of us

AnyoneForTardis Thu 20-Nov-14 18:15:25


I try not to!

we're okay 99.9% of the time, its just the odd times here and there she asks.

Im sure your usernames a compliment from your son. grin

number1daddy Thu 20-Nov-14 18:50:03

Awwwww thanks. well it's bath time in our house now. bye

foslady Fri 21-Nov-14 19:46:01

Thank God it's not just me re the TV adverts - everyone at work was going on about the JL advert - so this year instead of 'Your Christmas is crap if you are not a mum/dad/2 kids household' this year it's 'Your Christmas is crap if no one loves you'.

I agree - we need a lone parent ad, after all there's a hell of a lot of us out there.....

AnyoneForTardis Sat 22-Nov-14 18:15:59

just read your post on the other LP thread Fos and completely agree with you.

bloody pees me off these ads and eveything else aimed at the perfect family set up.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes Sat 22-Nov-14 18:18:22

Boots did one I'm sure it was last year or could of been few years ago where the daughters got mum ready for a date.

AnyoneForTardis Sat 22-Nov-14 18:37:02

Ignore even that's wrong too as many many MANY LPs don't get the chance to go on a date...ever!

but hey, they want to sell their products so theyre NOT going to show a lp struggling for xmas as LP prob wont even be able to afford to shop in their bloody store anyway!

(I NEVER swear in rl btw, its only when Im ranting on mn!!)

meglet Sun 23-Nov-14 11:02:12

I've not been on a date in the 6yrs I've been a LP.

You know it would be great if advertisers acknowledged all the different types of families at Xmas time. LP's, elderly people on their own, people in hospital etc.

And anyway, we know lots of those 'happy families' are bullshit. You only have to look at the relationship threads on here. I'm skipping my mums house on Xmas day because I simply cannot stand them taking over the dc's so I don't get a look in and snipping at me.

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