Hi
I am a LP with 2 children both born outside of marriage. Oldest has father on birth certificate (so PR), youngest doesn't. Both have his surname. He has had no contact with oldest child in 4 yrs and never bothered to meet youngest. He pays maintenance but through CSA deduction of earnings and against his wishes.
I got passports for my children yrs ago & have been recently been feeling it's the right time to organise our first trip abroad.
Then I start hearing / reading potential issues...
...like I may be stopped at border control here or abroad (then sent home) as we have different surnames, although I think (?) taking a copy of their birth certificates would solve this?
...more worrying, as the father is on the birth certificate of the elder child & he has PR I am not allowed to take them out of the country without the fathers permission, or I could be done for abduction.
The issue I have is that he has no contact with me or our children so how does a situation like this work? I don't know where he is, CSA must know but it's not information I have access to. I could maybe make contact via his mother if she's where she was yrs ago or possibly through past mutual friends but I am really scared of opening up that can of worms & reigniting any form of contact. He was not a nice person and being in our children's life in any way will be detrimental without question. He has an emotionally abusive / controlling past with me, I really don't want to go there again with our children.
Does anyone know my options please?? Do I need a residence order (or whatever its called these days)? I've read you have to have made reasonable steps to contact the father to get one, I don't know where he lives or works & CSA wouldn't tell me due to data protection so don't know what that means to my situation.
Surely it's not in my child's interests that we literally cannot go abroad until they're 16/18 yrs old. He is absent, we live in same place as when he left so he would've made contact if he'd wanted to, I have raised them on my own for yrs with no input (beyond unreliable forced financial support)... how can we be in a situation where he can stop something which would be good & normal & fun & life enhancing for my wonderful child who already deals with the unavoidable disadvantages having one parent brings.
I am so very upset by this & hoping I've misunderstood. Any advice / experiences gratefully received. They just want to go to a different country like their friends and why shouldn't they
Sorry this is so long, thanks for reading. I probably won't be back online til tm eve so I'm not ignoring any replies posted before then.
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Advice / experience please: LP taking children abroad
18 replies
hopeforthebestplanfortheworst · 14/11/2014 00:17
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