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Boyfriend upped and left without so much as a goodbye to DS

(10 Posts)
obviouslyneedsupernanny Wed 12-Nov-14 04:52:24

DS is five (ex boyfriend not his father). Last night I found out that my boyfriend of 6 months has been cheating on me throughout the relationship. I told him to get out obviously. I am so upset for my son as he has bonded with this horrible man and now he will never see him again, he will feel so hurt. How on earth am I supposed to explain this to him when he wakes up in a couple of hours? He has no contact with his father and this was the first father figure type person in his life, even though it was very early days. He will be distraught

obviouslyneedsupernanny Wed 12-Nov-14 04:53:15

Just reread that. Sorry it barely makes sense, exhausted and upset and can't think properly

ScrambledEggAndToast Wed 12-Nov-14 05:55:50

My boyfriend just suddenly finished with me about a month ago (he wasn't cheating though). Like you, I was wondering how to tell DS as they were so close and ex never even said goodbye after spending so much time with him, days out/mountain biking/rock climbing, you name it. I just decided that I had to be honest with him and say I didn't know why he'd gone (that's the truth) and just be there for him with lots of cuddles. Sending brewbrew

obviouslyneedsupernanny Wed 12-Nov-14 06:40:45

Thanks for replying. Sorry you have been in this situation too, really is horrible

3littlefrogs Wed 12-Nov-14 06:48:13

Sorry this has happened to you.

But TBH 6 months isn't nearly long enough to be introducing a boyfriend to your DS, never mind encouraging a relationship between them.

It is a hard lesson to learn, but hopefully one that won't happen again.

SavoyCabbage Wed 12-Nov-14 06:56:02

What an arse. Hope you are Ok.

Six months isn't all that long so i would just tell tell him the truth, that you have fallen out and you two are not going to be seeing him any more. But it doesn't matter as you have got each other. Then plan something nice to do together later.

BastardGoDarkly Wed 12-Nov-14 06:58:52

Yes,I agree with frogs This is why it's so important to wait before introducing dc to new partners sad

I'm sorry He turned out to be an utter twat, how are you holding up?

NorwaySpruce Wed 12-Nov-14 06:59:43

Just tell your son the man was a friend who'd been staying for a while, but had to move on. Unless you'd fallen into encouraging the child to call him 'Daddy' or something.

He will be sad, but to be honest, you had no right to encourage him to become to close to someone you (clearly) hardly knew.

I'm astounded that you moved someone into your home on the basis of such a short relationship. Even if you'd known them for years, the dynamics of the friendship will have changed, and you really don't want to be exposing your child to that kind of thing while you 'see how it goes'.

obviouslyneedsupernanny Wed 12-Nov-14 07:41:19

Thanks for the replies. No I know it was too soon and I will never make that mistake again. I definitely did not encourage my son to call him daddy, he called him by his first name.

SavoyCabbage Wed 12-Nov-14 11:18:43

I would just gloss over it once you have told him.

'Is bob coming to the park with us'
'no, do you remember how high you went on the swing last time? Well, there is no way you will manage that again!'

'How come bob never comes round any more?'
'Remember I told you he wasn't going to. Did you like that new strawberry yogurt? I had some last night and I thought it was much nicer than the one we had last week?'

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