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Pregnant and know I'm going to be alone

(7 Posts)
Sockstealer Tue 11-Nov-14 22:39:17

I'm so sad, I'm wondering if anyone else has been in my situation and what you did/how it worked out.

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and I also have a beautiful ds from a previous relationship.

I've been with my partner/boyfriend for a number of years but he doesn't commit to us. He doesn't live with us, he's always saying we will buy a house together or he will move in but it never happens.

He isn't being terribly supportive and keeps causing arguments.

I've considered a termination but I'm just not sure if I could go through with it especially now.

Ultimately unless he completely changed I think I'm going to be alone and I'm terrified.

I was on my own with ds from the start but it was only me and him, this time I would have two, plus my parents were in better health and could offer more support.

I feel ashamed that I've got myself into this situation with a man who probably. Isn't going to stick around.

minimommymary Tue 11-Nov-14 22:49:12

don't be sad- my mother always a said to me baby news should never be bad news. you've done it all before and know the bits that are difficult but you'll have your first child to be a helping hand (they love helping!) and a beautiful baby to love and cherish within the next 7 months. i have always been open and honest with my partner about my concerns as are not married and he used to love a drink and party. but he's changed now. everyone's capable of change. and if your partner doesn't then more fool him. i know plenty of beautiful children who have been raised by single mothers!!

nochangewanted Tue 11-Nov-14 23:08:32

I did it on my own really from when my DS was born although it was months later we left ex.

I found it so much easier without a waste of space around.

All I would say is plan to do it on your own then if he shapes up then great if not you are ready.

You have done it with one. You can do it with two..

dontuseme123 Tue 11-Nov-14 23:21:25

I'm the same, I told him when I was 10 weeks, I have my first scan this week, I will b 15 weeks gone, I was always txtin him askin him to come talk, he has told every1 I'm a psycho because I kept txtin to ask if he is coming to the scan, said I'm stressing him out & that he has his own problems, he txt a week ago to say I'm now blocked & is spreading nasty rumours, I havent stopped crying, I have 2 kids & my youngest is 10, they are not his kids, I'm sad because its Christmas, & he has chose the single life, he wanted me to terminate it but I cant, & he said when baby is born he will be involved wether he is allowed or not, jst doesn't want to be part of the pregnancy, I think he is the crazy 1, plus he assaulted me after I told him I was pregnant, I'm trying to be happy, but it is very hard

solitudehappiness Tue 11-Nov-14 23:34:33

I went through pregnancy from 6 months on my own. Gave birth with close friend and a doula. Was able to get doula with advice from mn.
My lo is almost 18 months old. It's been easier than I thought it would be. Ultimately being alone was definitely better than being in a r/s I knew was wrong.
There is lots of support out there for lp's.
Feel free to pm me if you'd like any advice.

hayleyanne31 Wed 12-Nov-14 19:49:26

Hi I'm so sorry I hear what you are going through , if it helps I am more or less in the exact same situation as you . I'm 30 weeks and my partner had just cut me off completely I feel very lost and alone and it doesn't help that I went through this with my last pregnancy, it's history repeating. The things that are helping me cope are being with my lovely family and my 2 children. I'm sure we will both recover and be fine in the end xx

Jolleigh Wed 12-Nov-14 23:39:35

Another single mum who found it easier here! We left my ex when DD was 6 weeks but may as well have been alone from day dot. If he's as bad as you say, he'd actually cause you more stress than having another parent around would alleviate if that makes sense?

It can be done. It can be done well. And the MN ladies are always on hand when advice is needed.

Good luck OP xx

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