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Interim contact

(10 Posts)
moomooland01 Sun 09-Nov-14 20:42:16

Interim contact has been put in place and ex has had the kids once so far, due again next week.
Last week he attended SPIPs. He's now seen the light an we need to be civil! He wants to meet up. We've been here before, met loads of times and it always ends in a row, each gets the blame and nothing constructive is ever sorted so I told him no.
I told him at this stage I didn't want to meet or converse with him via email any longer, I asked him very politely to now leave me alone.
We have mediation coming up (court ordered) and I can an will be civil at handover.
He spat his dummy out and told me not to bother taking the kids again, he was going to email court and his solicitor ad tell them he wasn't bothering with anymore contact and he wouldn't b at any more hearings.
Now, he has a solicitor and he changes his mind like this ALL the time, I actually any keep up.
I'm sick if havin the kids messed about, last weeks contact was the first since February (his choice not to see them), is it worth me emailing his solicitor with the email he sent me? I need to know what's going on, I can't cope with his constant mind changing. Last thing I want is to turn up to contact and have upset kids.

starlight1234 Sun 09-Nov-14 22:17:07

Yes contact your sols for advice.

I think you are right to avoid the meet.

I was told by CAFCASS my ex was withdrawing from court but Sols said until I received papers from court telling me he had withdrawn I was to attend.

I got a letter from Court the day before court.

Let him fail to attend he is shooting himself in the foot.

moomooland01 Sun 09-Nov-14 22:27:17

He has withdrawn before, from his own application, this is mine.
I don't imagine he will, it's just the constant "he is doing" threats. It's not showing he's committed and if I'm honest, the way he flies off the handle shows to me he still has mental health issues.
I think because i don't want contact and a court order will make things final, he's worried we won't need contact anymore.
He seems to email me at times when his new girlfriend isn't there, I might be totally off here but he either enjoys the conflict or just gets in touch to keep me engaged in conversation.
His his solicitor, not mine, I don't have one. What do I say?

starlight1234 Sun 09-Nov-14 22:42:48

Personally.

If you think he is enjoying contact. Don't answer anything . ASk him to confirm if he will be seeing the children on .... Then if he says no then make sure they/ you are out so no chance for collection. Keep email for confirmation.

Continue the same. You will build up a picture of none contact.

Can I ask why you are asking for a contact order if he withdrew his?

moomooland01 Sun 09-Nov-14 22:46:12

3 dc, one was with him and 2 with me. I want all 3.
I've been on previously but name changed.
I would prefer him to have some contact for their sake although eldest who was with him won't even go to him for contact now.

starlight1234 Sun 09-Nov-14 23:09:38

Oh I remember your story.

Yes I understand the order now.

I can understand you wanting him to have contact. Do you think he wants contact though or to play games?

moomooland01 Mon 10-Nov-14 11:35:02

Play games.
Its definitley a control thing.

Either he just doesnt want a piece of paper saying when he can have the kids, this way he can tell people I stop him from seeing them or he just enjoys the conflict and the arguing.

Im just trying to draft an email to his solicitor, Ive forwarded the email he sent stating he doesnt want contact and said Im concerned about his lack of commitment, given that the kids are now aware of the new routine this is going to upset them and Ive mentioned about how hes made these threats before.

Anything else I need to say??

starlight1234 Mon 10-Nov-14 22:50:32

Has he said these things or messaged them.. Keep any written text as evidence.

moomooland01 Tue 11-Nov-14 13:40:09

Emailed.
I've saved everything.
Do you really get chance to show the judge everything?

foolonthehill Tue 11-Nov-14 14:08:00

They will be seen if you end up with a "finding of facts" hearing then they can all be used as evidence.

Otherwise there seems to be little interest in what has or hasn't been done/said by the other parent. Sorry I know this is not what you want to hear.

Keep everything though...you never know what might be of use.

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