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pregnant & single parent

(16 Posts)
dontuseme123 Sun 09-Nov-14 13:42:01


I'm 15 weeks pregnant, told on off boyfriend ( nearly 3 years) he didnt live with me, & havent saw him since, he only txts now & again, doesnt want baby or me, & now he is threatening me about my benefits, I have 2 other children, not his, I always wanted him to live with us, he said no, he lives with his mum & now wants his own place as he is I his mid 30,s but cant because he has no proof of address, said he doesnt want to get his mum in trouble, all his mail goes to his mum, he started college & thats also registered at his mum, drivers licence etc, he said he could say he was living with me, which he wasn't, his car is at his mums every nite, I think I'm being watched by fraud squad, he has blocked my number etc so cant contacted him, he put me on his car insurance which I have not used, I dont have a key, any post I got I sent " not known at this address" & told him to stop unless he would move in, he only stayed every 2nd Fri when he had his son, how is his mum not getting into trouble when his mail, I.e bank, college bursery, drivers licence etc is all registered at her house, she is claiming that spare rooms aren't occupied, but someone is definitely watchin me, I havent saw the dad to be for 4 weeks, very sad as pregnancy wasnt planned

VeryStressedMum Sun 09-Nov-14 14:04:00

How do you know someone is watching you?
If they are watching you then they'd see he doesn't live with you.

dontuseme123 Sun 09-Nov-14 14:16:46

Because where I stay, the street is so busy, ther is no where to park, I know everyone in the street, & for 2 weeks now at 6.15pm 2 random guys walk & stand outside between my drive & neighbours drive, 1 walks away after 5 mins then the other pretends to be on his fone, then 20 mins later a car comes & picks him up, & at 7.30 every morning ther seems to be random men walkin passed with normal clothes & a rucksack, why not get picked up at the corner 2 houses down, his sister foned me a couple of months ago asking my door number, then again when he got into college, they don't really like him & always want to get him into trouble, they don't no he lives with ther mum because they don't visit her much & he use to work, his mum jst use to say only his mail got delivered, because she knows they would get her into trouble, them when he got into college she foned again to ask how much he pays for course, I didnt say, none of my business, but college & funding is registered at his mum aswell, will she get watched, I havent saw him since I told him, but he said he cant provide proof of address to get council house, he can, he has his mums, but she never said he stayed with her, confused as all his mail is ther & he has his own room

dontuseme123 Sun 09-Nov-14 14:20:14

I'm so annoyed that they are watching the Rong person, I have 2 kids & pregnant, & I dont need the stress, & he is protecting his mum & hiding from his responsibilities

HelloItsMeFell Sun 09-Nov-14 14:32:30

What do you mean he is threatening you about your benefits? confused

What kind of ammunition does he have against you? None as far as I can see. If he doesn't live with and has never lived with you then you don't need to worry about it.

I'm confused about why you think he's protecting his mum. Protecting her from what, exactly?

If they are undercover benefit fraud investigators then they are not doing a very good job of being under cover are they? Why don't you go outside and ask them why they have been standing outside your house every day, or call the police and say you are concerned you are being stalked.

If they are watching you then once they can see quite clearly that he's nowhere near you, never mind living there, so you've nothing to worry about.

dontuseme123 Sun 09-Nov-14 14:48:27

He said he will get his 14 year old to say he stayed with me every wkend, which he didnt, then I got a sorn through my door 6 weeks ago for his road tax, & he put me on his insurance incase I wanted to use it, which I told him no, & to cancel it, I was raging, he said he didn't want to register his car at his mums address because she is on benefits & is getting DHP for his room because he hasnt worked since April & couldnt pay her digs, so he registered it at mines, because the Road tax was due, he took the sorn & like I said, I havent saw him since, but also in march I called for a compliance meeting, I gave them permission to watch me because it was lies, he split from his son mother 4 years ago & moved in with his mum, & he didnt end the tenancy so she got into trouble when she had another baby that wasnt him, she has moved house & he is in arrears because it was in his name, now he is angry, bcoz he has no money for private let, no fixed address without gettin his mum into trouble, but he hasn't changed address for his car, so its registered here, why don't they check his bank details etc & watch him at his mum, will she get into trouble, he is a student & only gets a bursary, plus its her son, so I'm sure council wouldnt mind him staying ther

dontuseme123 Sun 09-Nov-14 14:49:46

The car is parked in his mums drive every night, but she doesn't drive

HelloItsMeFell Sun 09-Nov-14 15:09:33

Ok, I am struggling to follow all of that. confused

Look, go to the housing/social security office or whatever it is and tell them all this. Stop being paranoid and acting like they are the enemy. His mother getting into trouble because of whatever story they've cooked up is his problem not yours. Phone the DVLC and tell them the car in question is nothing to do with you, never has been and could they please remove you from their records. They may not be able to deal with you due to data protection (the car is in his name) in which case go to Citizen's advice and ask them what to do to get your concerns logged with DVLA and anyone else about your ex using your address.

You look after yourself, keep your nose clean, be honest, be co-operative. Let him and his mother worry about themselves.

If you've done nothing wrong the rest will take care of itself.

dontuseme123 Sun 09-Nov-14 15:22:50

Thats what I'm doing, now that I'm pregnant to him, he said he didn't want the baby, & I have to inform the benefits, yeh I got pregnant but I told him that doesn't mean he lived with me, if I am getting investigated I'm going to have to say where he is really living, which will get her into trouble & then world war 3 will start as they will think I have told because we r no longer a couple, & that Im doing it for revenge, I hate to think what else he has registered at my address without me knowing, I cant afford to get my benefits stopped till they finish ther investigation & after 3 years off seeing him, he would rather protect his mother than his own unborn child, he also threatened to see me in court when baby is born in may, if he cant be part of the pregnancy how can he come back into my life in may, & I know he will, he is nasty, so is his family. I'm sure they will find out where he lives but I will get the blame, & I dont no whether to say, because he had another brother who works & lives with them, he is a nice guy, I dont want to get him into trouble either, this is a huge mess,

hayleyanne31 Sun 30-Nov-14 08:01:45

Hi I am 32 weeks and have ended things with my boyfriend due to his totally unreasonable selfish behaviour , I felt I had no choice in the end. I would of been willing to sort it out but since ending it he has totally cut me off and I have not heard from him in 2 weeks it's totally shocking. He was very much into coming for scans , paid for us to have a 4d scan and bought a buggy and car seat so I will be very shocked if he doesn't want to see our daughter when she arrives. Good luck to every one who is in same situation we will all be fine. I've been here before my ex husband left me when our son was 5 days old and I have managed fine , shame I'm having to do it again on my own but I'm just looking forward to having her now and bugger him the idiot x

hayleyanne31 Sun 30-Nov-14 08:03:39

I posted on the thread lol. Don't worry I'm sure everything will be fine for you after re reading your post xx

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 30-Nov-14 08:09:46

Why are you continuing with the pregnancy then? He is an arsehole and will make your life unbearable and you can't afford to support the baby.

HonestLie Mon 01-Dec-14 17:29:45

What a fucking horrible post drinkfeck

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 01-Dec-14 19:51:52


DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 01-Dec-14 19:53:09

Termination is a viable and legal option for women who are in a difficult position. What confused you, lie?

HonestLie Mon 01-Dec-14 20:18:39

Nothing confused me and I am 100% pro choice and there is absolutely wrong with discussing options of the OP indicates they are considering them but saying. But your post is the least supportive and most condescending I have ever come across.

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