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What would happen if you were in hospital? AIBU

(36 Posts)
MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 09:37:25

What would happen if you were admitted unexpectedly to hospital?
I've been admitted since Thursday and no signs of going home today.
My parents have my dd aged 2, who has been at nursery Thursday and fri but now off for the weekend and I know they will struggle with her (not in the best health either of them)
I'm thinking of discharging myself because I can't handle the stress they are under.
My exp has PR for dd, seeing her for 24 hours twice a month. He's refusing to help with dd whilst I'm in hospital saying he has a job and life and that it is my parents responsibility to have dd. I've been a lone parent since pregnancy.
I'm too tired to argue and too confused about the last few days to work out if iabu.

gamerchick Sat 08-Nov-14 09:39:37

Are you ready to be discharged?

Could you ring SS and ask them for help. I'm sure there is something in place for temporary care in situations like this.

fairgame Sat 08-Nov-14 09:43:08

Do you have any friends that could take her for a few hours to give your parents a break?
When I've been in hospital its a mix of friends or parents who have ds depending on how long I'm there.
Your ex is being a twat btw,

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 09:47:45

My oxygen levels drop back to 81% without a mask and should be 97% so I'm not allowed home plus I'm on fluid drips and IV antibiotics hmm

My parents say they will manage, friends are going to call them to ask to take dd to the park but I don't have Many friends.

I think her dad should have her. hmm

fairgame Sat 08-Nov-14 09:55:55

I'm sure they will manage. My dad is 70 and has managed ok with my 9yo ds before. Ds has sn and can be really hard work but they have coped.
I agree her dad should have her as well. Is there any chance of him changing his mind? If not you know what to do if he is ever ill on his contact day.

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 10:02:02

I just feel so bad for DD.
Isn't his employer legally meant to allow him time off?
He will expect me to drive dd the 2 hours to him next weekend too angry
Although exp has just told me it's a three hour drive. (When it suits him)blush

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 10:07:58

Just been told it's pneumonia hmm

Iamrandom Sat 08-Nov-14 10:08:28

Seriously no you shouldn't self discharge. With those oxygen saturations you will be back in and sicker within 24 -48 hours and it'll take longer to get better.

Sounds like you have some friends who will give parents a break and your parents will cope better than you can at the moment. You only feel that you could manage as you're in oxygen. Any period of time off oxygen and you'll feel awful until the cause is fully treated.

Speak to the nurses/Drs about this and your need to get home ASAP and keep in with your parents and friends to reassure yourself that all's going ok. Please don't consider leaving hospital.

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 10:09:29

Thank you lamrandom hmm

gamerchick Sat 08-Nov-14 10:11:37

And no more driving her to him. Don't prevent contact but it's all on him to sort it out.

Hope you're on the mend soon.

Iamrandom Sat 08-Nov-14 10:13:00

Sorry I know it sounds harsh but I've seen people do this and rather than be in for a few days/week, they've ended up getting sick at home and back in hospital for much longer. I know it probably isn't what you want to hear but I'm being honest and trying to help you to keep your stay as short as possible.

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 10:13:14

Unfortunately the drive is court ordered

VegasIsBest Sat 08-Nov-14 10:15:58

It's important that you give yourself time in hospital to recover so you can get back to your daughter soon feeling healthy. Your parents will probably manage better than you think. So try and relax and focus on yourself. And don't even worry about next weekend till you see how things go over the next few days.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

VegasIsBest Sat 08-Nov-14 10:17:44

And the court haven't ordered you to drive your daughter if you're too ill. So he might well have to skip contact next weekend unless he can travel to you.

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 10:38:05

Thank you

Pico2 Sat 08-Nov-14 10:44:01

Do you have any contact details for nursery friends? I'd happily take one of DD's friends in the circumstances? Or, if you can afford it, nursery staff often babysit. Again, if you have contact details.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Sat 08-Nov-14 10:46:29

Hope you are better quickly. I get where you're coming from though. My stbx is not allowed unsupervised contact (abusive), so he is unable to take our dcs if I ended up in hospital. My mum lives abroad and cannot come over here as she has health problems, my MIL has the beginnings of alzheimers and is unable to care for them (plus stbx lives with her, so that's out anyway). There is no suitable family member. I'd have to either ask friends to take them or contact social services - and it'd be a nightmare as one is disabled and the other has SNs.

Fingers crossed that I don't have to worry about that!

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 10:50:30

Good idea Pico

Yes it's a nightmare isn't it?! Most of the time I love it being me and dd and our pet dog!

You poor thing, you need to concentrate on getting better so you can get home quickly and in the best of health.

If I had a call from DS' nursery I'f gladly take a child in this situation, even if just for tea until the evening then take her to your parents. I'd be happy to do overnights but I know some people wouldn't be comfortable with it.

People like helping in an emergency, which this is.

I'm in West Yorkshire if it's any help! (I know I shouldn't offer to have a strangers child for them but I couldn't not offer)

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 11:00:55

Thank you, that's so kind

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 15:32:55

I'm feeling a bit better and dd has just been in. Every one looks fine, I'm just very very hungry!
I just can't believe ex-p!

Iamrandom Sat 08-Nov-14 16:57:59

Glad everything's going ok. Fingers crossed it's not for too long.

dunfightin Sat 08-Nov-14 18:36:48

Pneumonia leaves you feeling very wiped out for a while. If ex won't drive and decides to go to court, you will have your medical notes to support you so don't worry on that score.

On Monday phone nursery and ask if they can have DD for longer if she isn't do full-time hours. Also ask to speak to hospital social worker, they are often very helpful and work with the main aim of putting stuff in place to prevent readmissions.
When I had pneumonia - it is surprisingly common with wiped-out parents - nursery parents really did rally round to give me rest. I wasn't admitted but it was two weeks of feeling as useful as a lump of cotton wool; I pushed myself to get back up to speed and in retrospect a bit more time would have led to a speedier recovery.
thanks and lots of rest

MikeTheShite Sat 08-Nov-14 19:06:20

Thank you. I will do that for definite.
The doctor asked me if I lead a busy life but after explaining no I don't but have a toddler, dog, house, job and degree course he told me no way am I going home yet!

starlight1234 Sat 08-Nov-14 21:44:45

Stay tight till Docs discharge you.. You will end up back in there.

Hope things improve for you

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