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is half my account dh's?

(23 Posts)
NAR4 Fri 07-Nov-14 21:37:05

I opened a new account when I split from dh, which my income support and child tax credit and maintenance is paid into. Dh now says half of the money in that account is his. Solicitor has said all money in all accounts is 50 50. This can't be right that he gets at of this money, surely?

DiaDuit Fri 07-Nov-14 21:40:12

I dont see how it could be his if it is in your sole name and was opened after you split. Are you living separately? Whose solicitor said this? Yours or his?

bobs123 Fri 07-Nov-14 21:41:31

Interesting point, but surely it's coming in and going out to pay for the stuff that child maintenance etc is supposed to be for?

Whose solicitor said that all money is 50/50 - yours or his? That's only a very general starting point and things are varied form there depending on several factors

Longdistance Fri 07-Nov-14 21:43:18

Open another account that he has no access to.

He's being a greedy tosser.

I assume the maintenance is from him?

InfinitySeven Fri 07-Nov-14 21:45:18

If you're still married, then I suppose it's technically true. What does your solicitor say? This must be a common problem.

DiaDuit Fri 07-Nov-14 21:47:44

If you get income support i am guessing that is because you are classed as a lone parent of an under 5 and as such there is no way he could say any of that money was joint money. How could he?

mineofuselessinformation Fri 07-Nov-14 21:48:43

If the law is still the same as when I was divorced, then no. Accounts in separate names can be considered if they hold a lot of money, but in my case, we split the joint accounts and kept what was in sole names to ourselves.
You do need to ask a solicitor though.

bobs123 Fri 07-Nov-14 21:49:23

I don't think i would get away with putting child maintenance, child benefits and tax credits into one account, then use savings in another account to maintain myself sand Dc, pay bills etc, and then say stbx has no rights to the 1st account...
Money comes in, money goes out, and at some point you exchange details of all financial assets and take it from there as to the split percentage

NAR4 Fri 07-Nov-14 22:24:01

My solicitor said 50/50 on all accounts, regardless of name on account. He is paying maintenance and even paid the school bus this month and an extra £100 for ds to continue his horse riding lessons. All very generous but some what pointless if he then claims half of it all back, as part of the divorce.

He has an account in his own name, which he cleared out our joint account into, and used it to furnish his flat. This account is now apparently empty though.

I don't want to bicker over every penny but am stunned he seems to be allowed any of the money from my new account, and intends to do so.

DiaDuit Fri 07-Nov-14 22:38:12

I really dont see how he would be entitled to have your income support and tax credits! Surely that would be an open door for financial abusers to keep on abusing even after the split by prolonging divorce? Just HOW could he be entitled to your benefits?

bobs123 Fri 07-Nov-14 23:03:57

The starting point is 50/50 but then depends on a lot of things - who has the dc, earning capacity etc. Check out Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act, which is the benchmark by which finances are divided.

You say, for example, that he is paying for riding lessons. well he can't claim that back as it will have been spent, as, most likely, will have other payments made to you. I don't think you understand that at some point, unless you have already done so, you will be asked for what assets you have - bank accounts etc. Not what you have been given, but how much you have in the account. So unless he has paid you several years upfront, for example, I don't see it as a problem

DiaDuit Fri 07-Nov-14 23:06:36

So really OP, lift all your money out in cash as soon as payments are made into the account and pay everything in cash so the account is always empty.

bobs123 Fri 07-Nov-14 23:20:52

Absolutely. You are perfectly within your rights to buy Christmas presents, pay for lessons (in batch form), new clothes etc. Just be aware that when you are asked for a copy of your latest statement you can also be asked for previous statements as well. In the same way that he has spent money on himself, you get to spend it too.

I would personally query the money in the joint account

NAR4 Sun 09-Nov-14 09:36:57

So just to double check, if I keep my account fairly empty, what I spend it on won't be questioned. I have had 8 wks of benefit back pay go into my account this month, but all standing orders (that I had to stop, due to no money) are being paid up to date, next month, which will wipe most of it out.

I don't know why he is bothering because half his wages, which will have gone into his account (and he will presumably have to split if he is splitting my account) is as much as half the amount in my account anyway. This means he doesn't gain financially and may even loose some money.

Does all this money nonsense last until the divorce is finalised or just until our solicitors write up what we have agreed?

Is there anything I can do to stop him having access to the family house? He has his own place, but comes here and takes stuff, such as the disk drive to my computer, bedding, central heating timer, children's toys. When I ask him about it he denies it. He just seems to be making life difficult for me as a sort of hobby.

GerbilsAteMyCat Sun 09-Nov-14 09:42:29

Change the locks!

NAR4 Sun 09-Nov-14 09:54:12

My solicitor said he is legally allowed to enter the property because his name is on the mortgage and deeds. As it is unlikely I will ever earn enough that the mortgage company will let me have the mortgage in my sole name, it looks like it can continue forever. I was told I would have to supply him a key, if he asked for one (which he would), if I changed the locks, so pointless.

bobs123 Sun 09-Nov-14 11:31:34

Perhaps I didn't explain properly. The 50/50 split is on assets, not income. Assets are things like house, pension, savings, shares etc.

Income is not included in that, so it's not like he has to give you 50% of his wage and you have to give him 50% of your benefits etc.

I don't know where you are in the process but it is usual at some point to fill in a Form E (google it) whereby you detail all assets you have. (We didn't actually do this, just gave the solicitors details and proof of our individual assets). After a division is made and agreed the divorce should be finalised and you will be alb to move on.

Re the house - no I don't think you can change the locks. however there must be ways to stop him removing stuff from the house without your consent. Unless someone on here can answer this I would suggest asking your solicitor.

Of course he will try to make life must expect this, and whatever you do, do not believe what he tells you. there is a wealth of information on here and online (wikiforce etc). Knowledge is power!!!

StardustBikini Sun 09-Nov-14 12:35:18

It's a while ago now, but I was advised by my solicitor that I could change the locks as long as I gave ex reasonable access - because it was my home, even though he had a financial interest.
He and I agreed through mediation when he could spend time in the house collecting belongings - he had a number of days when I made myself scarce and he turned up with a van! He did strip the house bare, but by then I didn't care - all the joint assets he took were accounted for in the subsequent financial agreement and he didn't do himself any favours because by taking all the high-value electronics etc, he lost out on a lot of the equity in the house!

Catsarebastards Sun 09-Nov-14 12:52:08

OP i would ask your solicitor to arrange with EXp for him to provide a list of items he wants from the house, you check list and if agreed then agree a set date and time for him to come and take only those things and agree that all other items he requires he should send a letter to solicitor and you change the locks.

NAR4 Sun 09-Nov-14 18:31:49

Thank you for the advice everyone.

He has had lots of time and access to take all his stuff, but refused to take anything. In half term I packed and wrapped all his stuff and informed him he had the week to remove it and anything left I would assume was for dumping. He had this week booked off work. He took what he wanted and left the rest. Weirdy he didn't want to see the dc at all during his wk off.

I work evenings and ex likes to see the children here (it's almost bedtime when I leave), when I'm not here. I don't want to refuse this time with the children and it isn't practical for him to take them out in the evening, they are only 1 & 3. I have wondered if he is doing it to promt me into stopping him coming over because he keenly tells everyone how I am stopping him seeing the children, even though I have always maintained he can see them whenever he wants. For now I think I am just going to put up with it because I don't want to stop the dc seeing him during the week.

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 09-Nov-14 18:41:43

Does h have no other place to see the kids? His family?

I would knock that on the head asap, he should make arrangements for appropriate access, it is not your responsibility to facilitate that, you can have the children ready for him & he takes them to his arranged rendezvous.

If this means weekends only due to their age then so be it. Who babysits when you work otherwise?

re the accounts. Keep that account he knows about because of the maintenance & open another one for everything else. He has no right to that money, especially as he cleared out the other account (have you evidence of this statements etc? Get copies from the bank if you haven't.

The 50/50 thing works as in you out down all of your debts, jointly and individually, all of your assets & one is taken from the other & THEN it's 50/50 of the rest.

NAR4 Tue 11-Nov-14 11:07:17

He only leaves 10-15 minutes away but doesn't want to see the children during the week while I am at home, pressumably to avoid contact with me as much as possible.

Currently he babysits the children while I work. Originally I thought it a generous offer, that would save me childcare fees and what could be better for the children than their own father looking after them. I now realise that was a very naive mistake on my behalf, giving him lots of control over me still and have signed up to a nanny agency to get other childcare in place as quickly as possible.

I have evidence of the account that he emptied, even though he is still adamantly denying it.

So the 50/50 thing generally speaking doesn't involve our own personal accounts, rather our house, savings - any debt (the massive overdraft he ran up).

I'm sure he is just trying to delay things as much as possible, despite the fact it is costing him more and more.

Last night he said he had received the divorce petition, but won't be signing it as he has decided he will divorce me. Yawn! Again with the control thing. As there is no hurry for a divorce, he is welcome to do it and incure costs. It's as stupid as paying a fortune for mediation (I get it free on legal aid) and then sulking during the sessions, refusing to disclose information asked for (his address and personal accounts). Just a waste of time really.

Sorry for the long moan. Thanks for the advice everyone.

bobs123 Tue 11-Nov-14 22:54:51

The 50/50 thing - or financial disclosure - is ALL assets and ALL debts - i.e. everything you have - ALL bank accounts, savings, mortgage accounts etc. As I said, have a look at Form E to get the idea. You may be asked to provide statements going back, say, a year, so this could potentially show large amounts that might have been hidden elsewhere (on both sides of course)

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