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please hold my hand

(9 Posts)
NAR4 Tue 04-Nov-14 09:06:07

I'm so sad it's almost unbearable.

I split with my dh in August an it's still breaking my heart. I can't be strong anymore and my world has fallen apart.

How do you go on from here?

cestlavielife Tue 04-Nov-14 09:37:49

get therapy/counselling and help. go to a divorced and separated support group. ask gp about nhs counselling. it is not the end of the world - however much it feels like it. write all the positives in your life. your DC, your friends etc. "be the heroine of your life, not the victim". nora Ephron

NAR4 Tue 04-Nov-14 10:40:23

Unfortunately I don't have anyone to have my little 1s while I go to counselling but the list is a good idea. It just feels impossible to be strong at the moment and I feel cross with myself for being so pathetic.

Thank you.

cestlavielife Tue 04-Nov-14 15:25:58

go to gp. explain the situation., ask sure start or hv eg local childrens centre what they can do to help get you some counselling. how old are your dc? you need to have someone else around anyway who can care for them for few hours in case of any kind of emergency. doesn't your exdh take the kids at some point? if not why not? if he isn't around at all then you really need to get someone else on board either friend or paid help. what happens if you are sick? or need a hospital appt? you need - everyone needs - contingency planning.

BeanoBrown Tue 04-Nov-14 16:36:43

I felt a little better when I decided to stop being strong and just let things be. Started taking each day as it came, not putting pressure on myself and you know what, I didn't crumble like I thought i would! 18 month down he line and the happier days outweigh the sad ones, stick in there and you'll get through it.

whyMe2014 Wed 05-Nov-14 17:08:52

My stbxh walked out in August - just take each day as it comes and let the emotions out.

When I wake up each day for the first few mins I still think he's here. But then reality kicks in and when you have children you just have to keep going.

I managed to find a 'One Stop Shop' at a local childrens centre where you can see professionals (solicitor, counsellors, police officer etc) for free advice. Plus the children can play in a safe environment while you're talking.

Plus NAR4 you don't have to be strong, you just have to get through one day at a time.

starlight1234 Wed 05-Nov-14 20:25:21

yes I agree talk to GP and childrens centre,

Try writtin a list of what you need to achieve. Even routine jobs tick them off so you can see what you achieve every day x

NAR4 Thu 06-Nov-14 15:17:13

Little ones are 1& 3. If I have a hospital appointment or anything, I have always taken them with me and simply have to carry on if I'm sick. Ex has children on a Sunday, so nothing pen then. The children's centre here don't offer any of the services you describe, just a few parent and baby groups. Gp says there is a waiting list of approx 3 months for counselling, but I will have to arrange my own child care and all sessions are in office hrs only.

I have a to do list which I am slowly working through thank you.

Feel a lot better today, but am completely divoid of energy and struggling with housework.

You are right that we have to carry on for our children. The idea of crawling into bed for the next month is extremely appealing though.

Brightmoon Wed 12-Nov-14 22:33:42

Take it each day at a time and you will get there. You're already coping really well. I used to write down positive things that happened to me each day, anything which made me see how lucky I was in my unfortunate situation. If you still feel you need more help, get a second opinion at your doctors. It will get better, unfortunately it just takes time. Xxx

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