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Would you let gp know

(10 Posts)
gemand3 Sat 06-Sep-14 20:27:37

Hi I have a 6 month old ds, ds dad has made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with him which is sad but that's his choice and loss, the thing is my family and friends are saying to write a letter and send a pic of ds to his dads parents to let them know about ds ( I'm 99% certain they don't know ) to see if they would like to see him or not . Just wanting to know if anyone has done this and what the outcome was and is it a good idea. Thanks

OP’s posts: |
starlight1234 Sat 06-Sep-14 22:30:13

Do you know GP?

My DS GM supervised contact for a while unfortunately she was unable to see anything what was best for her son to put my child first.

It is your choice you could be opening up a whole can of worms.

Lweji Sat 06-Sep-14 22:34:56

Would you be prepared for them to want to have your baby regularly and demand to spend time with him?
Or is it an attempt to reach over to the father?

What do you (or rather your family) think your DS will gain from it? Are you prepared to put the effort in if they want to create a relationship with him, or you just want them to know of his existence?

gemand3 Sat 06-Sep-14 22:51:26

No I don't know gp
I would be prepared if they wanted a relationship with him to put the effort in and let them spend time with him.
It's not to reach out to his dad he's had plenty of chances.
My parents think they have a right to know and think for ds sake to give them the option I'm thinking more along the lines of when hes older and starts asking questions at least I can say I tried

OP’s posts: |
Lweji Sun 07-Sep-14 00:08:32

I don't think it can harm if you are prepared to actually let them into your lives.
It also raises the possibility that the dad will become involved at some point, which may end up being more hurtful if he still rejects your DS as a child.

gemand3 Sun 07-Sep-14 10:08:33

I don't think his dad would change his mind but that is one of my worrys about letting them know or not, I just want to do what is best for my ds but the thought of them rejecting him too makes me hmm

OP’s posts: |
Lweji Sun 07-Sep-14 10:26:27

My worry would be if they do want to be in his life, but his dad still wouldn't.
If, as a child, your DS was aware of his dad and in some contact via gps, but still rejected by his dad, it can't be good for his self esteem

starlight1234 Sun 07-Sep-14 21:56:32

I also would be aware you don't know these people. I can look at my EX's mother and see why he is the way he is. What if they are awful people?

I know my Ex MIL would make all sorts of excuses for my Ex which would not be helpful to my DS simply can't bear her son to look bad.

gemand3 Sun 07-Sep-14 22:17:40

Thanks for your replies
I think I will leave it alone, I don't want my ds when he's older to feel even worse about it if they did want a relationship with him and like you said I don't know them they could be not nice people.

OP’s posts: |
Rainydays123 Wed 10-Sep-14 12:38:43

My daughters dad didn't tell his parents, they only found out when she was 3 months old. Even though he doesn't want to be involved his mother and step dad are absolutely great and see dd every week and go out of their way to help out. I was cautious at first but im glad they are now involved and my dd loves them to bits.

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