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Parenting on good terms.

5 replies

grumpychops1 · 31/08/2014 16:32

Mediation has been recommended in a section 7 report. Court this week for direction hearing and for section 7 to be heard. Ex has stated he will not be doing mediation at all.
Just wondered, anyone who gets along with their ex, how do you parent "together"?
Could do with some tips.
At the moment I guess we are both being petty and criticising each other's skills.
We don't get on AT ALLand mediation would be really good for us.

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should · 01/09/2014 14:54

If your ex isn't up for mediation I don't see how it will work. The bald truth is that you CAN'T parent with someone who isn't interested in compromise and working together.

Stop being petty and critical and disengage. Get all contact agreed in court (if he won't go to mediation) and stick to it religiously.

You need to remove all the emotion from the situation before you can even think about joint parenting. Just make sure he's doing what he needs to and you're doing what you need to. Forget about being friends.

How old are the kids?

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nomoretether · 01/09/2014 15:17

I agree, you can't co-parent with someone who doesn't want to. Parallel parenting is best in that situation. Keep all contact to facts and essential information.

What does the section 7 say mediation hopes to achieve?

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grumpychops1 · 01/09/2014 15:45

I cant understand why the section 7 has suggested mediation to start off with - we tried and he refused to attend, in the end mediation told him not to bother contacting them again because he messed them about too much.
SW recommeded in the hope we could parent together and agree on how the kids would be raised. If Im honest, I dont think Im that critical of him. I try to bring them up as I would if I was still with him, my first thought is usually "what would mr grumpychops do".
Now Im concerned that when I attend court this week (hes told me hes not coming) they will just suggest mediation and we will have to go back in another 3 months time. I just want contact to be established.

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nomoretether · 01/09/2014 16:51

Can you contact the mediation service and ask them to put in writing that mediation was unsuccessful and that they asked mrgrumpychops not to contact them? Might not work but worth a shot.

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grumpychops1 · 01/09/2014 17:06

One step ahead! Got that back in May as proceedings started Wink
If I just whip that out in court do you think they'll accept it?
I just want it over and done with. Wouldn't mind but I've shown the SW the email!

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