Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

1 2

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Liars

34 replies

SiennaBlake · 21/07/2014 17:43

I can't include details because I live in fear that the ex's new lady friend is on here but WHAT A FUCKING LIAR.

The lies just roll off his tongue for absolutely no reason. Such pointless lies. They don't benefit him any more than the truth would. It's like he gets a weird pleasure out of trying to manipulate me through lies but at the same time is too fucking thick to realise that I know he is lying.

Aaaaaargh the rage the rage the rage!

Aaaand calm.

Are any of you stuck with a compulsive liar as an ex?

OP posts:

Report

kinkyfuckery · 21/07/2014 17:45

Yup!

I've managed to detach hugely the past few months, but he's still A COMPLETELY LYING WANKER!

Feels a bit better

Report

SiennaBlake · 21/07/2014 17:47

I think I'm getting to the detach point now too!

THESE WANKERS! ARGH!

OP posts:

Report

Pinkballoon · 21/07/2014 20:42

Yep! My ex was a compulsive liar. Would lie for the sake of lying. I find its easier to ignore communications from him, particularly those that include lies. And I live in fear that his new one (s) are on here too! :)

Report

SiennaBlake · 21/07/2014 21:29

It's like it's automatic for them, isn't it! I might take a leaf out of your book re ignoring! Ha, I watch every thing I type on here now that could out me, I'm so paranoid that they are on here

OP posts:

Report

ChanelNo19 · 21/07/2014 21:32

it's a personality disorder thing. they're hardly a real person because they make themselves up as they go along. they know it too.

Report

SiennaBlake · 21/07/2014 22:27

I have actually wondered if there is something like that going on with him. He has these dead eyes like a shark and just always had to work at his emotions. Tears when it benefitted him but never at an actual emotional time. Lie after lie after lie. A complete fictional life now you mention it! Took a while to find out.

OP posts:

Report

foolsrushin · 21/07/2014 22:45

Ahhhh how refreshing!! Yes my ex is the same!! All of a sudden talking to the ex ex ex who accused him of allsorts when he got with me. Dragged my kids into the drama and made his own childs life a misery. Now using her as he still knows she has feelings for him to 'protect him' from my truths!! Just sit back and wait ladies I believe truth always outs itself :)

Report

Pinkballoon · 21/07/2014 22:56

Yes, it tends to be tears and imaginary illnesses when they are found out. Mine even went to a fake 'heart' appointment (on a Sunday?) when he knew I was on his case. Came back with some odd equipment strapped to his chest, which was quickly discarded when he thought he was safe again. OMG, even thinking about it makes me realise what an utter wanker he was. Foolsrushin - yes, my ex made friends with his ex too.

Report

Pinkballoon · 21/07/2014 23:00

Siennablake - unfortunately, the deeper you dig, the worse it gets. My life unravelled the day he left his phone behind and my daughter picked it up as an opportunity to play Angry Birds. Emails and texts laughing at me with his family (before, during and after childbirth); making plans with his ex wife to financially exclude my daughter with him; affair after affair after affair; hard core sex sites, dating sites… Everyone being played off with everyone else. The lies were absolutely shocking.

Report

SiennaBlake · 21/07/2014 23:08

A fake heart appointment! It's creepy the way they think the fake tears will work. Mine was "crying" because he thought I'd caught him cheating but then he had "evidence" of an alibi and the tears went off like a switch. Fucking creepy to watch!

OMG fools, mine is the same. At the risk of outing myself, he's back with his ex who he told me terrible things about. I believed them for a long time until he started saying them about me. Poor cow, stuck with that. She probably has no clue the things he said about her.

Oh no, pink :( it must have been very difficult for it to all hit you at once. Mine was more of a slow unravelling so it must have been extra shocking to get it on one go :(

OP posts:

Report

foolsrushin · 22/07/2014 07:49

Well trust in this as I do.....none will have a happy ending because as we women do these exes and new women will start to think hmmm what really got said? What really happened? I'm a quiet little soul and never rocked the boat when we were together so if I was an ex I'd be thinking, wonder what really happened, wonder if there is an element of truth in it etc? It will take time but our minds have a way of questioning these things......in time x

Report

littlemissminime · 22/07/2014 11:56

My EX sat and told a SW he was going on holiday so couldnt see his kids that week...lies, then apparently booked Jamiaica over the weekend! ha, closest hes getting to Jamaica is the cake aisle in Asda!

Report

SiennaBlake · 22/07/2014 12:04

Unfortunately for my ex's new but old lady, his family are equally psychotic and lie for no reason so she will probably never realise and will be stuck with him. It's sad really that there will be woman and after woman who falls for the lies these men tell because they are so good at it!

Cake aisle did the SW realise he was lying?

I'm at a crossroads now, can't decide whether to pretend to believe the lies and hopefully keep contact to indirect contact or whether to confront and risk him starting the process for direct contact. I live in fear of him doing the lies to dd because I don't want her head to be messed with by him.

OP posts:

Report

ChocolateFreckles · 22/07/2014 15:12

No point in confronting the lies because they'll just lie some more. I'm in exactly the same boat.

Report

Pinkballoon · 22/07/2014 16:03

SiennaBlake
Mine would dismiss all of his previous ex's as alcoholic obsessives with mental health problems……. Actually, a very accurate description of himself.

As with your ex, my ex's family were all the same too. His brother was bitching and lying about me with my ex (by text.) So confronted him about this (sending him a copy of his text.) He denied it. Er…ok.

The families tend to be the enablers.

Pity the ex who has got back with him. You won't have to sit and listen to all of his lies whilst you're silently thinking "Oh, dear.."

Report

SiennaBlake · 22/07/2014 16:37

Good point, chocolate. That's what he's done every other time too.

My ex has similar "crazy" exes. The one he is with now was one of them and he told me something awful about her that I used to tell him not to say because it was so cruel. If she knew he'd said that, I doubt she'd be with him but she will never know. He's so manipulative. I feel sorry for her knowing that his friends and everyone she will speak to now connected with him have also heard that lie.

I agree with the family being enablers. I think they are also the teachers! His older siblings are the same and his parents even more so. It's so weird when they deny with evidence right in front of them, isn't it! I had the same with an email.

OP posts:

Report

Pinkballoon · 22/07/2014 16:54

Its a parallel universe Sienna Blake! We're best of out of it! They sit playing everyone off against each other with their lies, and become enraged if one person contacts another about one of the lies (did you experience that?) I even had emails instructing me not to talk to Xperson or Yperson (once he had found out that we had made contact and his lies had come out)!!!

Like you, the stuff I heard about his exs was eye watering. But then you sit there and think: "So why did you stay with them if they were that bad?" Dread to think whats being said about me now.

I spent so many hours earnestly trying to prove to my ex that he was lying, not realising that he was just sitting there thinking up his next pack of lies. I just ignore everything now unless it comes with concrete proof. And it rarely ever does. I really fear for my DD with a father like that.

They live in a weird weird world!!

Report

ShropshireLady · 25/07/2014 16:50

It seems a lot of them about!! Go on a site called psychopathfree and look at an article on the 30 red flags - textbook personality disordered behaviour. Most of them just act like kids and can't take responsibility for their actions

Report

SiennaBlake · 25/07/2014 18:19

Parallel universe is the perfect description! I have concrete proof on the latest lies but even then I think he will try to lie. It's so odd really. He would lie that the sky is green if he felt it would benefit him.

Eek! A lot of those red flags apply to my ex! Definitely lacking in responsibility. Everything is always somebody else's fault.

OP posts:

Report

ShropshireLady · 25/07/2014 18:46

Ultimately they are the ones who will end up alone. They sabotage their own chances and relationships with their BS and lies. I hadn't come across one for many years until recently and I thank him for making me aware of everything I was NOT looking for in a partner! Deluded assholes!

Report

yummytummy · 25/07/2014 22:10

yup all lying idiot feckless bastard wankers aaaaargh gd to let that out!

Report

Pinkballoon · 25/07/2014 22:16

Its just so odd. I just don't get it.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Email address

You've subscribed!

caramelwaffle · 26/07/2014 20:44

Have a read of the Baggage Reclaim website: it'll open your eyes to who and what these people are, and why they do what they do.

Report

AC786 · 06/08/2014 17:20

Mine is a compulsive liar too.... It's like he actually believes in his lies! What then do you do with regards to children being in that environment?

Report

CagneynotLacey · 06/08/2014 18:19

Me too! Strange random lies as well as whoppers. As in, l can see the cogs turning in his head as he makes up a lie that, really, makes no difference at all. Most odd.
It used to freak me out esp just after I uncovered a lot of the lies when we were together - really scared me when I realised how many lies had been told. Now, though, I can detach from it and even pity him from time to time. He is a very very damaged individual and his lies bring him no happiness.
I agree that it is hard to know how to handle it with children. I encourage DS relationship with his dad and it is positive for him, at the moment, though he still little. That may become more of a concern as he grows. My great fear is that I die and DS is brought up by him. However, I try not to dwell on that - I could easily worry myself to the brink of insanity. Hopefully that won't happen..