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Should i leave?

(8 Posts)
Lucy90 Fri 20-Jun-14 10:58:24

Hi all, would like a bit of advice please? Im 14 weeks pregnant and fell very quickly into the relationship so we are still getting to know eachother. Problem is ive found out my OH has thousands of pounds of debt he isnt paying off so there are constant letters and phone calls to his mothers house where we are staying. He wont even discuss anything to do with the baby, just sighs and walks away from me. He doesn't want to try and pay any of his debts off in time for the baby and admitted he is going to be useless when the baby actually arrives. We never go anywhere, he sits in his room playing computer games and i sit with his sister watching tv. We both work but that is the only time he ever leaves the house. Should i leave now before the baby arrives? Or should i wait and see if things change? Sorry for the rant

HowardTJMoon Fri 20-Jun-14 11:24:12

What possible reason do you have for believing that he has any intention whatsoever of changing?

Lucy90 Fri 20-Jun-14 11:30:42

Blind hope i guess

Runningforfun Fri 20-Jun-14 11:37:59

Run Run as fast as you can.

He has told you he won't change so why waste years of yours and your unborn child's life waiting for him to change.

Even if he was paying debts off it would be at least 6 years before they disappear from his and if you stay with him,your credit rating. That is an awful long time to be tied down by debts that are not of your making.

Lucy90 Fri 20-Jun-14 12:03:54

These debts are from him spending money on a previous girlfriend aswel so im refusing to help him pay any of it. His mum had tried to talk to him about it and he shuts her out aswel. All my family live 200 miles from here and i feel so alone

starlight1234 Fri 20-Jun-14 12:11:49

Yes I would say run...

He has actually told you he is not going to change so no reason to believe he will do otherwise.. It is very hard when pregnant to not expect your OH to put your baby first..I hoped with my ex wasted my time really.

HowardTJMoon Fri 20-Jun-14 12:12:06

Hope is not an unreasonable emotion but it needs to be balanced by the cost of maintaining that hope. I occasionally buy a lottery ticket in the vague hope that I'll win but I balance that against the reality that I almost certainly won't so I don't spend much money on it.

The longer you stay with him in the vague hope that, one day, your relationship with him will come good the more hurt you will experience every day when you realise that he still doesn't care about you or your child.

Is there somewhere you can go? Friends, family etc?

greeneggsandjam Sun 22-Jun-14 05:28:14

Aside from the money that he chose not to tell you about, he sits in his room playing computer games while you sit in the other room with his sister. Is he about 12? I say run. What is he actually doing for you now that is of any help?

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