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Moving away after separation.....advice needed

(7 Posts)
Katrina33 Wed 18-Jun-14 23:56:39

My partner and I have decided to separate for various reasons. To cut a long story short we live, along with DS (1 year old) in HIS house. I rented a property prior to becoming pregnant, but we moved in together (in his own home) just before the baby was born. I took maternity leave and returned to work part time recently which we both agreed was in the best interests of DS (rather than me returning full time at the moment).

Anyway - now we are separating and he intends to stay in the house (as it is his) and DS and I need to move out. Property prices in our area are high and even if I increase my hours at work we would really be struggling financially. Plus, ex DP is stating he wants 50:50 care of DS and therefore will not pay maintenance. I am not agreeing 50:50 shared care at the moment but am happy for lots of contact with a view to working towards shared care once DS is a little older.

My family live about 80 miles away and I am considering relocating there as property prices are much cheaper and family would help with childcare (which is currently a huge expense) as well as being a massive support to me as a newly single parent. My question is - can ex DP stop me from doing this? As long as I still promote contact between him and DS - can he apply to court to stop me moving?

Thanks in anticipation!

meandcoffeeequalhappy Thu 19-Jun-14 07:05:40

I shouldn't think that 80 miles is far enough for any court to stop you moving. As long as you are doing it for all the right reasons. You are allowed to think about what is now going to be best for you emotionally and where you will get support, as if you are happy your DC will be happier. He doesn't get to dictate what he will and won't do or what you may or may not do, life doesn't work that way. Once you split up you are actually allowed to think and make decisions for yourself!! smile It is one of the bonuses.

mummytime Thu 19-Jun-14 07:13:47

I would suggest getting some legal advice - a lot of family lawyers offer 1/2 hour free. You could ask about this and the financial implications.
If you live 80 miles apart 50:50 will be very difficult in the long term (school and nursery), however how real do you think his demands for it are? Is he just demanding it to avoid maintenance or does he want to be closely involved in your DS's life?

This is likely to get messy before it gets better. A court won't stop you moving 80 miles, but could impose restrictions that make it trickier (eg. over who has to do more driving etc.).

nomoretether Thu 19-Jun-14 07:31:22

They can't stop you moving but they can say your DS should stay with his dad. Definitely get legal advice.

RainbowsStars Thu 19-Jun-14 16:21:35

Given that you are moving to where your family are then the chance are he won't have a leg to stand on. We moved 60 miles away and the ex went to court to stop us but the court threw it out as he said that the DCs would have family support where we moved, I would have family support and I'd be able to afford to buy a house there so the children would have a far more settled life in a place with good quality family connections than in a rented flat in a town where I didn't know anybody. The fact that I had already had an offer accepted on a house and had got both DCs at a lovely primary school helped.

Katrina33 Sat 21-Jun-14 12:32:20

Thanks guys for the answers and support.

Sorry for the delay but things have been going from bad to worse! I'm hoping to be able to move out in the next couple of weeks, but money is a big issue as he is refusing to contribute financially. I'm unclear about how child maintenance works these days as I believe that the CSA are no longer taking on cases...does anyone know how it is working now? I appreciate that maintenance by agreement is preferred....but it's not looking like that's how it's going to be!

Thanks again x

starlight1234 Sat 21-Jun-14 21:36:46

You need to get in touch with CMS for maintenance.

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