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Negative influences on DC from ex and their family?

(3 Posts)
Popplecake Fri 11-Apr-14 23:23:43

I might be worrying unecessarily here, but are the DC negatively affected by the time they spend with a toxic ex/his toxic family? My ex has the emotional maturity of a five year old and so do some of his other close family members . . . They operate on a level where they bully and control or shout and scream when they don't get their own way immediately.

They are also all either into drugs or passively tolerant of them. Only recently, one of my exes parents tried to bully me out of fixing contact through the solicitors to get my ex to stop drugs if he wants to see DD. This person also tried another tactic of bribing me that my ex "Might start paying child suport" if he "Wasn't paying for solicitors"!

My DD is really young and I worry so much about the effect that these people might have on her developing into a nice, intelligent, well rounded person with good morals and ambitions . . it sounds silly, but I worry about it every day. She is due to be spending 2 days a week with them and I worry that they will ruin her, or that she is "doomed" to end up like them . . .

Does anyone have any real experience of this . . do I need to worry, or should the time she spends with me help her to develop things like manners and the proper way to treat people etc? I hope I don't sound like a pushy parent but I only have one ambition for DD, and that is that she becomes a warm, good-hearted, well-mannered and articulate person . .

mummypower123 Sat 12-Apr-14 20:08:26

Im experiancing the same, my DS spends alot of time with his father and his family. We have completly different ideas of parenting, my DS will come home climb tables telling me daddy lets him at his and a whole host of other things. Asoon as he sees dad gives him haribo sweets and feeds him rubbish all day. My ex also makes a major deal at handovers like oh dont worry daddy will see you soon not too long as if its awful with me!
I really try my hardest when DS is with me to have manners etc but tbh it is difficult as DS is still very young and i think sees dad as fun fun fun, im hopeing things will get better

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 12-Apr-14 21:38:40

Are they the type of drug issues that may be of concern to children's services?

If so what would you think about taking advice from the nspcc?

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