My BIL is utterly flaky. He's never committed fully to a relationship, and has always bad mouthed his exes whilst still with them. He's in his forties. He's been in an on/off relationship now for about 3 years or so. They've broken up lots of times. She has a young DC from a previous relationship. BIL has never established more than a passing attachment to him.
BIL gave his gf a final ultimatum that he was walking away for good, then she announced that she was pg (they weren't ttc). BIL was very clear he didn't want a child, but she wanted to continue with the pregnancy, so she has. They moved in together about 6 weeks ago (baby is due next month) with her DC.
I saw BIL yesterday at his Mum's (without gf - we've only met her and her DC once, he always comes alone to family gatherings). He was saying he categorically doesn't want to be with gf anymore and is only there as he doesn't know when the 'best' time to go will be. His gf knows he wants to go and is begging him to stay.
I think if he goes, he will ask for contact with the baby initially, but I very much doubt he'll bother with it long term.
So when is best, clean break before, or wait til later? My feeling, given that he is not a supportive partner and I have no faith in the likelihood of them making it work long term, is that he should go now, and let her welcome her baby without the uncertainty of a break up hanging over her.
I'm asking here as BIL asked DH for advice.
Thank you.
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Is it better to break up before or after the baby is born?
9 replies
Nonie241419 · 31/03/2014 09:40
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