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LauraJayne84 Thu 20-Mar-14 23:49:34


I am after some advice. I split with my ex when I was 3 months pregnant and I am now 8. Since the split I have had nothing but an onslaught of messages saying he is going to take me to court for custody and that he will be having her overnight from when she is born. I have kept all of these messages.
I have tried to keep things amicable and am starting to get to my wits end now. He has been kept updated of appointments and times so that he has an opportunity to attend these if he so wishes. He has only attended 2 scan appointments.
When we found out that we were having a little girl he sat there in front of the sonographer and said "I'm gutted it's not a boy" he has since made it perfectly clear that he did not want a daughter.
He is also very aggressive and angry in his messages and the way that he speaks to me. He has previously been arrested for "hitting" his ex which he claims not to be true. He has also had counselling as he tried to commit suicide two years ago.
I have tried so hard not to let myself get too stressed with this, but with my due date looming closer, everything is starting it play on my mind.
Any advice would be gratefully received.

Russianfudge Fri 21-Mar-14 07:21:02

Okay, he's showing what an uniformed Wally he is because there's no such thing as custody. Your baby will get a residence order with contact agreed for certain times, or a shared residency order which means you both have him/ her living with you at different times. Given his behaviour I would suggest that you would get residency and he would get contact. If he is a risk to the baby then you can apply for this to be supervised. But it is important for the child to have contact with it's dad unless there are real safe guarding implications.

In my opinion it's all hot air. Ignore the abuse, continue to offer the appointments and record these messages as proof you are being cooperative. Then get a free hour with a solicitor (most offer this) so that you are informed.

Good luck with it all and congratulations on the baby!

cestlavielife Fri 21-Mar-14 11:58:58

jsut cut contact til baby is born then offer supervised contact make sure you not alone with him and baby. no need for you to ahve any contact with him if he bing angry/abusive. talk to your midwife honestly and tell ehr everything.
he is being abusive and has a back history which should make you alert.

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