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Permission to take dc on holiday when you have no contact with exh

(38 Posts)
moldingsunbeams Tue 18-Mar-14 11:47:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moldingsunbeams Tue 18-Mar-14 11:48:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VelvetGecko Tue 18-Mar-14 11:52:40

You generally don't need permission. I've travelled with ds a few times now and it's never been a problem. However I've seen posts on here where it has been a problem in certain countries so I think it depends where you are travelling too.

daisy0chain Tue 18-Mar-14 12:00:20

I think it does depend on country so maybe look into it.

However I've taken my DD abroad twice with no problems. Different surnames in passports too.

To my knowledge your ex would have to go to court for a PSO to stop you leaving the country, and providing you could prove your intention to return it wouldn't be issued.

daisy0chain Tue 18-Mar-14 12:02:41

Should maybe add that the above only applies if you are going to be out of the country for 4 weeks or less. I think anything over that, you need permission.

cestlavielife Tue 18-Mar-14 14:01:17

if you have no contact with him then how will he know you going and how can he block it?
take birth cert to prove they are your children
where you planning to go?

moldingsunbeams Tue 18-Mar-14 18:51:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moldingsunbeams Tue 18-Mar-14 18:51:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElBumpo Tue 18-Mar-14 19:39:23

Legally speaking, if you don't have permission from all with PR, you need permission from the court.
The 4 week rule mentioned above only applies if you have a residence order.

JeanSeberg Tue 18-Mar-14 19:44:55

I've never come across this in 12 years of holidays, post-divorce, either me or ex taking our kids away.

Who are you supposed to show this letter to - passport control? Who writes the letter?

JeanSeberg Tue 18-Mar-14 19:46:16

What about married couples taking their children on holiday individually?

ilovepowerhoop Tue 18-Mar-14 19:50:58 - I didnt actually know this!

daisy0chain Tue 18-Mar-14 20:35:30

Interesting, i didn't know this either. My solicitor actually advised me the first time I was taking DD out of the country to just tell my ex that's what I was doing.

The second time I didn't even bother to let him know and have no intention of letting him know later this year either.

I wonder though, what would they do if someone said "I have sole PR for my child" would they check? Would they demand proof even though the majority wouldn't have it to hand?

Obviously the link is correct I just find it odd as haven't encountered an issue myself and neither has anyone I know. Definitely something to think about though. Would hate to miss out on a holiday paid for and looked forward to on these grounds.

CalamitouslyWrong Tue 18-Mar-14 20:40:36

I had to get permission from exP to take DS1 to the USA. ExP does not have PR so it was completely meaningless, but I needed a letter anyway or they'd have been completely arsey.

moldingsunbeams Tue 18-Mar-14 21:13:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justtoomessy Tue 18-Mar-14 22:01:12

I had a terrible time getting into Canada as I did not have a letter from absent ex and I have a residence order, I had his birth certificate with me etc. I had to prove that I had a job, show texts from my friend to me showing it was just a holiday. I was quizzed by 2 different sets of people. They even started directing questions to my 4 year old.

I would get a letter from the court.

STIDW Tue 18-Mar-14 22:51:38

You can apply to court for permission and the courts can find out where he lives from DWP or other government agencies to serve the papers.

Theydeserve Wed 19-Mar-14 20:07:42

I did not change my name when I got married and travel+++++++ with DCs. Never had an issue till last year.

Complete arse of a passport official coming back in to the UK, basically told me single mums were bad and always took the children. When Ex took DCs away with new partner and her DCs, she got stopped ( different names) and he did not.

Completely discriminatory and picks up what......

Single parents with kids with different surnames are of course always abducting children!

In my situation it is all about control - Ex would like to be able to stop me travelling to certain countries, then huffs and puffs if I say am going away, about missing the DCs. 2 weeks holiday in 3 yrs does not a great father make!!

Charley50 Thu 20-Mar-14 15:32:14

We just got back from a weekend in Switzerland. My son and I have a different surname. I noticed that every passport official engaged my son in conversation. At first I thought they were just being friendly! But after the 4th conversation I realised it was a policy to make sure the child is happy and relaxed to be travelling.
When we got back to the UK passport control told me (nicely) that in future I should bring his birth certificate with me when we travel.
I think more children are being abducted by parents.

Meglet Fri 21-Mar-14 12:32:06

I wonder at what age border control staff don't worry so much about DC's being abucted? When the kids are taller than the parent, which will when DS is about 10yrs for me hmm.

This has been on my mind this week because 7yo DS needs a passport for a school trip. I suppose if I take the dc's to Paris for the day alone I'd take a pile of birth certs, proof I was employed, mortgage statement etc. The very youngest we'd do it would be next year when they're 8 and 6.

STIDW thank you for the other advice on the other thread the other day BTW. I've had a look at those forms.

Damnautocorrect Fri 21-Mar-14 12:43:22

How do they check the letters legit?

eightandthreequarters Fri 21-Mar-14 13:02:06

I travel often with the DCs and without DH, and I also have a different surname than the DCs. I have been stopped a few times, but they have always been happy to see birth certificates (why that proves anything other than that I am their mother, I really don't know). I always carry the marriage certificate as well (though clearly we could have been divorced for ten years so I'm not sure what good that is).

My impression is that this is a relatively new push from immigration officials - and a good one, as we can all see the problem of kidnapping - and most countries have not worked out a systematic and reasonable approach. Plenty of parents do not have contact with the other parent for one reason or another, or have an adversarial relationship but do not intend to kidnap the children because of it.

First, I don't think you will have a problem that results in you being denied entry to a country (except Canada - lordy are they hot on this issue!). You just might be in for a long and annoying conversation with immigration as you explain the situation. Take those birth certificates and any other pieces of official-looking paper that might help. They love papers. Papers with stamps. Get your employer to say you intend to return on X date - and stamp it - official company letterhead and all that. smile

Second, is it possible to get a letter from the court that would cover multiple trips for some period of time?? That would be ideal! Clearly you can't be hunting down your pointless ex every time you fancy a quick trip across the channel.

I have also been stopped coming back INTO Heathrow. What are they going to do? Send us back to a beach in Spain?? Go for it, Home Office. I welcome your intervention.

GiveTwoSheets Fri 21-Mar-14 14:21:08

I'm in process of passports renewal and looking at going abroad, just glad and grateful now absent parent was a complete and utter arse at 3failed attempts to get him to come register birth, cos sod having to bow down and get his permission.

Meglet Fri 21-Mar-14 14:28:35

eightandthreequarters yep, they can pack me off to Spain too. The letter from an employer sounds useful, I'd not thought of that.

I've never wanted to go to Canada anyway. <Meh>

Mind you, I can't even afford to go on holiday in the UK (mum pays for Cornwall), let alone fly off abroad!

Octopusinabunchofdaffodils Mon 24-Mar-14 12:51:09

I've travelled a lot with mine and have always taken their birth certificate. I was once asked by a British passport officer why my surname was different, I truthfully replied that I didn't change it when I got married and offered his birth certificate but they didn't need to see it.

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