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No Life

(5 Posts)
Thetallestsunflower Tue 04-Mar-14 21:53:19

Sorry for the moan. I hope some of you will understand.
Basically, I am now a full time single mum. I split from my EA ex about 21 months ago and up until xmas we had what I thought was a good arrangement with the access to the kids. Me and him would have a bit of an argument on handovers most times but I felt confident that once I left him to it, he was a good dad. He used to have them 2 evenings after school until bedtime, one over night and one weekend day per week.
This changed just before Christmas when I found grab marks on my 5 yo which he said his dad did. After reporting him to social services who interviewed the kids and then decided as I had full custody of them that there was no need for their involvement as access was my choice. I began to restrict access following this incident and events eventually led to my ex (who is also bipolar) stopping taking his medication and being sectioned.
My parents have been good about having the kids while I work and study but although initially they used to have them over night, due to them getting building works done on their house they have now stopped the over night stays.
They will sometimes look after the kids for a couple of hours on an evening but I have to be back by 10pm at the latest.

I know I sound selfish but I feel like I have no life. My friends are mostly single mums too but they have normal exs who have their DCs every other weekend or one night or the other.

I have recently started dating but I know that he will get fed up soon when he realizes he will never be able to stay over or me stay out past 10pm as I always have my kids to come home to.

I know at 33 I am too old to be thinking about nights out but I honestly wish I had a lovely decent husband that I could spend cosy happy nights in with instead of time and time being sat in on my own.

Lonecatwithkitten Tue 04-Mar-14 22:38:26

No life too. ExH and his GF verbally abused, whilst they were drunk, DD so I stopped contact. They have now moved a ferry ride away. My family are over 200 miles away.
I work full time including nights and weekends so I have an au pair, but it is me DD needs.
I struggle to see when I would slot in meeting someone new let alone actually seeing them. I think I will be alone for the foreseeable future.

mmmmtoffee Tue 04-Mar-14 22:58:31

I also have no real life. dds dont see their dad as I am fleeing dv. I just want some alone time even for an hour. as im in a refuge I have the dds 24/7. I just want to be able to have a coffee or cake without thinking what is dds doing.

cestlavielife Wed 05-Mar-14 13:51:50

they will grow up and it will get easier
this is not forever
get close network other parents so you can swap sleepovers

NoodleOodle Thu 06-Mar-14 22:09:33

You say you study - are any of the other students single parents too? If so, perhaps organise a double sleepover, kids strictly upstairs only after 9pm, and you two in the lounge with a bottle of wine.

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