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Kids being dumped with OW whilst he goes on a stag weekend.

(95 Posts)
Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 19:05:30

She's an even bigger mug than I thought.
But he'd rather eat his own arm off than let them stay at home (residency and contact order in place and he's already missed contact twice in the last 6 weeks)
Can't wait to see his reaction when he finds out that I know.

BillyBanter Sun 02-Mar-14 19:07:35

Well when the children are under his care it is up to him how childcare is arranged. The same as when they are under your care it is up to you how childcare is arranged.

His choice if he wants to lose out on time with his kids. I hope they are ok with it.

ruddynorah Sun 02-Mar-14 19:10:54

Why does that make her a mug? It's nice of her isn't it? Do you have plans that weekend? Would you rather the dc werent with her without their dad?

FabBakerGirl Sun 02-Mar-14 19:11:00

Why can't you wait until he finds out he knows you know? All sounds a bit pathetic tbh.

Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 19:13:59

That's the problem Billy. They hate it. She's not cruel, but she's very cold towards them, and they spend the whole weekend in the spare room watching videos. Eldest sadly makes excuses for him, little ones are just confused by the constantly changing goalposts.
And he knows full well that I'm not working at the weekend so they could easily stay at home. It's all a stupid game to him.

ruddynorah Sun 02-Mar-14 19:15:14

It rather sounds like a game to you too. Why not just re arrange?

TensionWheelsCoolHeels Sun 02-Mar-14 19:15:15

In fairness to the OP, if you read the SP board you'd see just how welcome this would be from a SP point of view. Maybe the SP is happy to facilitate contact by proxy but if I was in that position I'd not be the one babysitting for a stag weekend. Each to their own though.

Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 19:18:26

Rearrange as in ask him to let them stay at home ? It just wouldn't happen. He lives his life via his EOW contact ( he has convictions for abuse so it's been a long process). No changing allowed, he won't even have them for Fathers Day if it doesn't fall in 'his' weekend.
If it were a game to me, I'd have withdrawn from the march a very long time ago.

Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 19:19:04

Match even.

FabBakerGirl Sun 02-Mar-14 19:25:37

How, when the children have access rights?

Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 19:27:29

Sorry Fab I don't understand the question ?

BillyBanter Sun 02-Mar-14 19:31:36

^That's the problem Billy. They hate it. She's not cruel, but she's very cold towards them, and they spend the whole weekend in the spare room watching videos. Eldest sadly makes excuses for him, little ones are just confused by the constantly changing goalposts.
And he knows full well that I'm not working at the weekend so they could easily stay at home. It's all a stupid game to him.^

you didn't portray that as the problem. Your OP was about contempt for the OW and (ongoing) hostility between you and your exDP. Well-placed perhaps but nothing about your kids.

Anyway, I'm sorry he's such an arsehole.

FabBakerGirl Sun 02-Mar-14 19:35:30

You said you would have withdrawn from "the game." What is the game and how would you have withdrawn? If it is about access you can't as they have rights to see their father.

Meglet Sun 02-Mar-14 19:41:42

Why do they need to see a dad who's clearly a twat? Children don't have the right to a dad. They have the right to a good dad, and this one sounds like anything but.

monet. I'm sure it will all go tits up eventually when they realise what an idiot he is, or she leaves him. Sorry you can't just put a stop to it though sad.

Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 19:42:58

Fab I referred to him as treating the situation like a game. And then someone suggested that it was a game to me as well.
My point about withdrawing from a game was an attempt to illustrate my frustration about NOT being able to withdraw from this situation. Because it's NOT a game and yes, I have to make the children available for contact despite everything that he's done to them AND how they are cared for (or not) during that contact time.

Meglet Sun 02-Mar-14 19:43:56

And why oh fucking why does the law allow useless parents with convictions for abuse to see their DC's sad. I hear it so often on here.

Thank God we have nothing to do with XP.

lunar1 Sun 02-Mar-14 19:48:02

Really nice of the ow, help wreck the marriage then she gets to spend time with the children. It's so shit that this is allowed.

Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 19:54:54

I feel a bit sorry for her Lunar ( are pigs flying cos if you'd asked me 6 months ago what my feelings towards her were)
But I truly suspect that she's in the place where I was 14 years ago.

Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 19:59:19

Meglet it's shit. I know there have been quite a few threads on here about trying to challenge the 'system'.

needaholidaynow Mon 03-Mar-14 04:20:14

So you think she's a mug, but yet if she didn't want to look after your children, I can bet my bottom dollar you'd be saying she isn't making an effort with your children and that when it's his days it's "his problem" to sort out childcare arrangements.

I think it's very sad that you are getting excited about all of this. Sounds like you thrive on the drama and that isn't good or healthy. Maybe she actually wants to look after your children? She is by no means obliged to, but of she wants to then what on earth is the big deal??

If he is taking advantage of her, then she needs to put him in his place, put her foot down and if he doesn't change then she should bin him.

differentnameforthis Mon 03-Mar-14 07:30:09

Well I don't think she is a mug. I guess she is trying to do what is best for her partners children. I think she should be given credit, she could easily say she won't do it.

It's all a stupid game to him. It's a game to both of you by the sounds of it. With your gleeful 'can't wait til he finds out'

Also, what needaholidaynow said.

Monetbyhimself Mon 03-Mar-14 07:32:08

Oh do get back in your box Needaholiday. Isn't it time you hid lone parents ? You'll be running out if vinegar for that huge chip soon.

soundedbetterinmyhead Mon 03-Mar-14 07:40:55

I'd have thought it was quite nice of her to have your children for your ex. She doesn't have to. She could just tell him she was going out and he had to miss the stag night. So either she's doing him a favour, actually quite likes your DCs or she's subject to his controlling behaviour. None of that makes her a mug, despite your other greviances about her

needaholidaynow Mon 03-Mar-14 08:06:25

Monet it sounds like you are the one with the huge chip. Hence you wanting to actually create drama between you and your ex and his partner. Hence your attitude towards me when I say something very valid and true to you. I have said more or less what everyone else has said, so how about you go and tell them to get back in their boxes as well? FYI I will post anywhere I like on MN, just as everyone else is allowed to. Report me if you don't like me.

Monetbyhimself Mon 03-Mar-14 08:17:05

Oh Needaholiday you are so disingenious. A woman posts on step parents to say that her partner expects her to look after his kids while he fisappears for the weekend and you'd be the first to screech shout what a git he was and what a mug she was. ( and what a bitch the Ex wife was natch )

You're always so predictable in your responses, drpending on which board you post on. I can actually read your replies on LP with my eyes closed wink

And I can't report you yo MN. Being a rabid terrier with an agenda doesn't seem to break the talk guidelines sad

Soundedbettet she doesn't like the kids, or want them there. Hence my earlier post sbout thrm sitting in the spare room all day. And if she IS subject to his control, then I struggle with that impacting on my kids.

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