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ARGH, just need to let this out here rather than in RL!

(10 Posts)
TheCunkOfPhilomena Sat 01-Mar-14 19:22:29

XP has had DS(3) for one night and in that time has managed to feed him chips x2, chocolate buttons, chocolate ice cream, hot chocolate with extra cream and chocolate sprinkles and chocolate spread on toast. I am amazed he isn't still climbing the walls.

Oh and he came back filthy. angry

Why can't he give him proper food, EVER?!!!

Phew, that feels better.

GEM33 Sat 01-Mar-14 21:28:31

They want an easy life. Men are lazy. My ex doesn't think about what he feeds our child or his son by previous relationship and he doesn't do anything with them other than cart them to his parents when he has them because he is too Effin lazy to do anything himself! Grrrrrrrr I'm with you op x

Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 19:31:49

Mine have told daddy that they're now allergic to McDonalds wink

TheCunkOfPhilomena Sun 02-Mar-14 20:24:53

Oooh, I like that idea Monet! Shame DS wouldn't go along with it. I never knew he'd been to a MacDs until he said 'that's where daddy takes me' as we passed one. I've nothing against him having the occasional takeaway, it's just the fact that his dad NEVER EVER cooks for him. He sees him every week and can't be bothered.

I'm fed up with being the boring, sensible parent that refuses chocolate most of the time and insists on proper food. DS knows he'll get what he wants with his dad so expects the same from me angry

I completely agree GEM!

Monetbyhimself Sun 02-Mar-14 20:29:53

I don't think mine would ever claim to be allergic to chocolate either grin

elliefant Mon 03-Mar-14 09:40:08

sorry if in wrong place im new on here and wasnt sure where to post this!! Just after a rant/2nd opinion. My ex and I recently split up and have 8.5 month old - we've never lived together or had 'proper' relationship really think friends with benefits - and yes i have heard of contraception lol I was on the pill and didnt find out till late into the pregnancy!! Anyway he visits our baby once a week for an hour (far more than when we were together!!) and he just will not listen to me or respect what I say. He literally walks in and takes the spoon out of my hand and takes over feeding without saying a word. I spread out a play mat with toys etc but he shoves her stuff to one side and will produce toys from his bag and expect her to play. Ive tried explaining things she likes, games and songs etc, but he just rolls his eyes and carries on what he's doing. I still have to do things for her like change her nappy, give her a drink etc whilst he's there because he just doesnt understand her needs. She does not laugh smile or interact with him just kind of sits and stares looking a bit lost!! I have tried saying -we need to do this together you cannot just muscle in and take over when you visit especially as you really have no idea what she needs or wants - his attitude is he knows what he's doing and im not giving him a chance to spend time with baby because I interfere too much! So do i take a step back and just watch how things progress or go to different room and let him get on with it Or do I continue keep doing as i am as i feel im putting baby 1st??

elliefant Mon 03-Mar-14 09:41:21

so sorry for hijacking your post this was meant to be a new post - any ideas of how i can move it?? think you can tell im new lol

Sidge Mon 03-Mar-14 09:45:14

elliefant - IMO you need to leave him to it.

I mean actually leave, leave them alone on their own. Has he got anywhere he can take her, eg to his place. If he has to have contact with her at yours I would leave him to it whilst you go out to meet a friend for coffee, or get your nails done or something.

He could have her for a couple of hours at a time and get properly stuck in - it's going to be hard for him to form a caring relationship with her for an hour once a week.

It will be really hard for you, but over time you may come to realise that he can care for her just as well as you can once he learns how to, and gets to know her.

FrogbyAnotherName Mon 03-Mar-14 11:05:51

They want an easy life. Men are lazy

Its no wonder MN has its reputation as man-hating.

There are regular single dads who post on this board - it must be soul destroying for them to read that kind of generalisation.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 03-Mar-14 13:16:59

the thing is though some people judge the whole by the crap one they got/know.

mine is crap at looking after them without instructions but by god he has the patience of a saint when it comes to the imaginative play that drives me up the wall.

what you do depends on what the other parent is like. if you need to be around to do nappies and ensure the child is safe, stay. only you will be able to judge that.

getting toys out of his bag does not seem a problem as long as they are suitable. meeting her at your house will also be better for baby until he has built up a relationship with her. as she gets older she will remember more who he is and be happier to go with him. by this time I bet you will be grateful to wave them off. grin

does he choose to only be there for an hour a week?

waves to op.... oops sorry continuing the hijacking of your thread.

I would be pissed off too at all that chocolate. I hate the disney dad thing.

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