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Bollocks to everything tonight!

(5 Posts)
IndiansInTheLobby Sun 23-Feb-14 19:18:57

So I've been a lone parent for just over a year. Amazed myself with my strength and determination to be honest. Although it's been hard I have gone on to really do the best I can for ds and myself.

Anyway, I became close to a a friend and we've been having this fairly passionate relationship for a few months. This weekend we had the conversation of next steps and it became blatantly obvious to me that this guy, although lovely and a great friend, is not able to give me the commitment to my child that I require. The prickles immediately went up and I have called time on it, mainly as ds is 2 and I don't want him to become attached to someone else who will up and go when reality hits home. This guy hasn't said he can't embrace family life but he also gave me enough room to be a bit sceptical of him being able to cope long term with it.

I've done the right thing haven't i? I feel so bloody miserable tonight and more alone than ever! We were going to go on holiday with ds and obviously now we're not. Not been on holiday for a long time so feeling a bit gutted about that. Stupid I know. Once again I feel like everybody else in my life seems to be full of luck and love and companionship and I just always have to be strong and alone. Even with ex it was pretty shit most of the time. Just feeling sorry for myself tonight and suddenly very aware of the potential to be alone for a very long time.

GlitterFingers Sun 23-Feb-14 19:42:02

I'm sorry you are feeling down but yes you did the right thing. You wouldn't ever want your child to feel second best or let down by someone and you are protecting him from that. You are a wonderful mother. Maybe look at a small break just you and ds?

IndiansInTheLobby Sun 23-Feb-14 19:51:34

Thank you for the reply. I was wondering about just going with ds but I'm worried I would feel more isolated. Surrounded by families etc.

I really am longing for a family feeling at the moment which makes me feel guilty, because I'm blessed with lovely people around me and a wonderful son.

AmberSpyglass Sun 23-Feb-14 19:57:37

Yes, you did the right thing. Better now than having to do it later and break both you and DS's hearts. Go on holiday by yourselves, you'll love it smile

GlitterFingers Sun 23-Feb-14 20:05:12

You should go. Don't focus on other people just focus on having a good time with your little one. I know how you feel about the family unit but there's a lot of families that are miserable even though they are together. You can be happy alone

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