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advice needed about long distance parenting

(7 Posts)
Nic854 Sun 23-Feb-14 15:09:50

Hi I am a single mum of 4.. last year me and the children's dad of 10years split up.. He has moved to opposite end of country to be near his family so is about 6hours car journey away from us. When He left cause of his situation I never asked for anything or Said id contact csa but when he found a job.. Any offer of what the boys need would be truly appreciated. However he now.has a fulltime job.. New gf who has 2 children but still hasnt offered to pay towards his 4 boys. He says when he comes up he's spending �200 a time and if he was to pay weekly it would make it difficult in him seeing the boys. What advice does anyone have?

MamaPingu Sun 23-Feb-14 15:16:23

Does he make an effort to see the boys as it is?

If not, I'd just demand the money for the boys and get on with raising them! I find it odd that he has a new girlfriend with kids but doesn't want to help you out with his own kids

MamaPingu Sun 23-Feb-14 16:13:13

Bumping this for you OP

Missdee2014 Sun 23-Feb-14 20:15:19

I can sympathise with you. Similar situation here. My ex moved a 5hr car journey away and doesn't pay a penny. Not does he spend a penny when he sees the girls. He has seen them twice in 5 months :-( at my wits end.

Nic854 Sun 23-Feb-14 21:20:35

hi thankyou for your reply,, since i said he needs to make a routntine with them to keep that bond (twins was 2 when he left) at the mo it is end of everymonth n since the new year he has stuck to it...
as long as the kids are not missing out on seeing him i think should he pay towards the kids or is that enuff..

MamaPingu Sun 23-Feb-14 22:01:03

OP without a doubt he should be paying towards his children!!
Never doubt that for a second, how can he leave you to raise them without even helping you financially.

If he stops seeing them just because he is asked for the money you are entitled to he isn't a great father!

I do hope you get this sorted sad
Make sure he pays you, a dad shouldn't only be a dad when it suits him so make sure he doesn't take advantage for your sake and the sake of your boys!

Smartiepants79 Sun 23-Feb-14 22:09:19

Contact the csa.
He needs to take some responsibility for his children.
They will work out what he can afford.
What is he spending £200 on? Stuff for them or things like travel costs and accommodation? If its not stuff for them it doesn't count.
Ahhh parents that think that they can just walk away from their children and ignore all responsibility for them make me so angry.

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