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Any tips on how as a single mother I can transistion 5mo old from bed to cot?

(13 Posts)
mods38 Sat 15-Feb-14 21:53:28

Hi all,
I'm a single mother of a beautiful 5month old baby boy!
I didn't plan on co-sleeping but only way I could get any sleep!
The time has come where I want him in his own cot, however as a lone parent I'm finding it really difficult, has anyone else had same problem?
Or have any tips?
He has a routine, and goes down at 8, but then wakes every hour or so and then from 10/11 he is down till about 4....I'm sooo exhausted by 10/11 that when he fusses I just take him into bed as need that chunk of sleep he gives me until 4!
Do I just have to try harder??? It's easier said than done when you are doing it solely on your own!!!
HELP!!!

sillymillyb Sat 15-Feb-14 22:58:44

First off congratulations on your little one!

I am prob no help as I just couldn't do the transition at that age to his own bed (I tried but exhaustion one) we finally made the move at about 9 months and I just bit the bullet and rode it out. Think it took about 3 nights, but ds always woke every 2 hours until recently anyway.

I found heating the cot before hand with a hot water bottle helped, as did cuddling his soft toy so it smelt of me and then putting that in with him.

I also found that I could sometimes stay in bed and say shush a lot and the sound of my voice would sometimes help sooth him.

I was on my own from pregnancy so understand how you feel. Sleep deprivation is evil!

cestlavielife Sat 15-Feb-14 23:42:23

Why do you want him not to co sleep ?
If it works for you and him then do whatever it takes... If he waking so much then I can't see how it will work?

Eg is there pressure from someone else or ?

Why not get a Open sided cot that goes on side of bed ?

Or ask hv to refer to local sleep clinic for some ideas . Has he always woken so much? Is he getting reflux ? Could he start eating some food eg baby rice. (mine all started eating at four months coz that was how it was..,I know I might get shot for suggesting but you could ask hv if you have to wait til magical six months exactly.... )

Poshers Tue 18-Feb-14 19:24:58

I'm also keen to know this too. I too have been single since pregnant. Fell into co sleeping. But I want DS out of my bed as it's becoming counter productive as he kicks & punches me all night hmm I also need the evenings to myself! I don't even know where to begin??? He has not spent one night sleeping apart from me since day 1 (eeeek) so do I just ... Go cold turkey and ...

put him in the cot at normal bed time?
Let him cry? - he will go a good hour if not more!
Try to get him to sleep without picking him up?

HELP!!

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Tue 18-Feb-14 19:27:49

I used to have the cot pushed against the side of the bed. You can either have the side up or down. This might help smile

Cookiepants Tue 18-Feb-14 19:31:42

Will he sleep in your bed if you're n not in it? I sleep on the cot sheet the night before I put it on and make sure the cot is warm before I put DS in.

Cookiepants Tue 18-Feb-14 19:33:39

Sorry my message wasn't clear, I wasn't suggesting giving up your bed grin. I was just wondering if he needed you near or if his bed smelling of you would be enough?

mods38 Tue 18-Feb-14 21:21:44

I want to stop co-sleeping because like poshers I want my own bed/evening back!
I'm glad I'm not alone poshers!!!!

My son hasn't spent a single night in his cot since he has been born!!!
He likes to be swaddled but I don't want to swaddle him overnight so not sure what to do....
A lot of people have mixed fews on allowing babies to cry and I finally tried it but couldn't for longer than 7mins and he slept as soon as I picked him up! Put him down again, & on the 7th attempt I had enough!
I try everynight at his normal bedtime, & after the usual routine etc.....
I haven't tried the warming of the cot so will try that...I tried making his sleeping place smell like me when he was sleeping in a Moses basket and that didn't work then!

I feel tempted to just give up because yes it does work for us at the moment but if I dnt try won't it be harder to transition him later on???

To cookie pants, yes he does sleep in the bed if I'm not in it...but as soon as I get up he fusses!

girliefriend Tue 18-Feb-14 22:33:35

Hi I think as a single parent its almost more important to get your babies sleep right as if you don't get your rest there is no one to help you out!!

I was quite strict with my dd esp from around 5 months, had a set bedtime routine, put down in her cot - warm, cosy, well fed, soothing music on - would do some cc in that once she was down I would go and make a cup of tea. If she was crying by the time I had made my tea I would go back up and comfort her, would then leave her again to drink the tea and if she was still crying after I had I would again go and comfort her!!

So I would say she never cried for more than 5-10mins and normally settled after 20-30 mins max, quite often wouldn't cry at all.

If she woke in the night, I would check she was o.kay and then offer water (sometimes milk if she seemed hungry) check nappy and then leave her to settle. I would return at 10 min intervals. Its hard but def worthwhile in the long run. I don't like co-sleeping as not convinced its safe and also personally for me just meant no sleep for me or dd

Applebloss Tue 18-Feb-14 23:57:16

If you have had enough of co-sleeping then definitely worth it to persevere with getting him into cot. I transitioned DC3 at this age (DC1 was a lot later and still likes to co-sleep (at age 6!) and DC2 never co-slept).

It will take a few nights but if you are happier with your DS out of your bed I would persist. I would swaddle him in angel wrap style - can google it - (arms up so they can move them but they are enclosed) and, as he gets older, start to loosen the swaddle and start to leave one arm out then both arms etc.

My DC2 who never co-slept was swaddled like this after a paediatric nurse showed me this was how they settled babies at the children's hospital. They swaddled them in angel wrap style and then tuck a sheet or light cotton blanket quite tightly over the top.

I actually swaddled DC2 for 7 months as it worked so well for him but I was worried about restricting his gross motor development at the time (not rolling etc). But he is now a strapping young lad with no obvious side effects!

Good luck. Trust yourself to do what feels right and works best for you both.

revealall Wed 19-Feb-14 00:38:30

Personally 8pm sounds late especially if up all night and awake at 4am.

Get a really structured day in place. Up early at 6am, breakfast ,TV, books. Out to work, .park, walk, supermarket at 7/8am. Back to house for nap. Out to singing group.NCT or whatever lunch, nap out again and bed for 6.00pm/6.30pm. Everyday
5 months is early days and still in training. The more routine and knackered out the better for sleeping quickly.
Obviously some are more inclined then others but a cot in your room where you can fish em out and plonk them back in works well.
Hate the swaddling thing just because they can't itch or move properly -it's not like they don't sleep at that age.

revealall Wed 19-Feb-14 00:43:33

Definitely don't set up any routines that will become a rod for your own back in future- bottles of milk in bed (always before), tapes that they depend on (and make them wake up again when they stop). Reading a bedtime story in bed is good, everything else comes before they get put into bed.

gillybean2 Wed 19-Feb-14 14:57:35

I think you need to pick your battles. This appers to be a battle you are not prepared to fight as you can't go more than 7 mins. Your baby is learning that crying works and you will come if he just cries for long enough. So he will keep crying till he gets what he wants. If you acan't cope with that then don't do it.

Co sleeping is far more common than you realise. I certainly thought I was the only one and now know I am/was not. My ds slept in a moses basket by my bed until he went in a cot. Cot was then near my bed and when he woke for a feed in the night I was right there to deal with it rather than us both waking fully. When he went in a toddler bed he would always go to sleep in my bed. I would lift him to his own bed when I went to bed around 10pm. He would get up at some point in the night and climb into bed with me. Sometimes this was at 2am, sometimes at 6am.

It went on for years but he did eventually start going to bed in his own bed, and would often stay there all night just coming in with me for a cuddle in the morning. Now he doesn't want to come into my bed ever. Just as well as he's now 15! I won't say it was always easy, but looking back it really wasn't a massive issue in the grand scheme of things.

My married sister's youngest still co sleeps with them and is 5 now. So do the two youngest of my neighbours kids (along with her other half). And many many others I have spoken to co slept for varying lengths of time.
If you have no real reason to do this, and aren't prepared to do what it takes to force the issue now, then why try? It will only wind you up and you'll both be stressed and make it harder all round.

If you really want it then you will have to put up with the crying and not relent on getting what you want. So ask yourself do you really want this, and if so just how much...?

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