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Do I go it alone?

(2 Posts)
shimmerboo Thu 13-Feb-14 10:47:37

I've recently found out I'm pregnant. I'm not with the father and I am torn as to what I should do. After experiencing some bleeding + clotting + cramping, I was sent to EPU at my local hospital last week. I had a scan which showed I was carrying twins. I do know that if I was to continue with this pregnancy, I would be completely on my own.

I've got a 9 year old DS from a previous relationship. It's been hard at times but he's the best thing that ever happened to me. He sees his dad regularly and they have a great relationship.

My parents are aware and my mum is being really supportive. My dad not so. He's told me that it is my decision but I can't help feeling he thinks I'm stupid. This makes me really sad as he's always been my rock but right now I feel like he can't be there for me.

I've spoken to a couple of friends, they are being supportive but a few have said they are worried about how I'd cope. I have had mental health problems in the past and last year was a year of recovery for me. I left my stressful job and decided to set up a small dog walking business. The business is starting to build slowly but I think it would be nigh on impossible to carry on in a few months if I went ahead with the pregnancy.

Our living situation isn't ideal. Because of the problems I experienced at the beginning of last year and to get me back on my feet, my DS and I moved in with my parents about 9 months ago. We wouldn't be able to stay here if I went ahead as a) there isn't the space and b) it just wouldn't be fair on my parents.

The thought of not going ahead makes me feel incredibly sad. Conversely, I have fears about coping, housing options, my work, finances. Also, my main friendship circle is in London which is about 90 mins away from where we are (moved away a few years ago).

cestlavielife Thu 13-Feb-14 13:24:40

with one child newborn you need support, finances, housing, etc.
with twins even more so espec as risk of prematurity and other problems is that much higher.
if you can afford to buy in help or you know your mum would be there for you to help out for say the first six months then yes doable.
if she cant/wont then who would be helping you? practically speaking there is a limit to what friends can actually do for the first few months of newborns' lives - you need a relative or to buy in help if you on your own. can you arrange this?

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