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Promising money for maintenance, then nothing.....

(7 Posts)
oopsadaisyme Wed 12-Feb-14 18:09:26

I've had a right old time of it so bear with.......x

What would you do, he's promised some money going in on a monday (in two months, never happened) - He's tried to 'keep me sweet' by sending the 'I love you, I miss you' rubbish over past two weeks - then when i say 'ok, but really need the money', he got nasty, accused me of being a bitch and only contacting him because of money - and if I was to go cms/csa route he would get everything out of my house he deems as 'his' (tv, my sons xbox, the works) -

I just want to support my kids - he can buy himself holidays, wine bars (wtf btw), but not afford to support his child -

Believe me, If I could do this on my own right now I would, but he's living the life of riley, and I actually had to beg him today for money, we have nothing - three weeks and nothing, paid everything I had for food and gas - and still he paid in nothing -

I feel sick and really alone, I dont want to contact him again, but he's hanging us on a thread and loving it - doesnt pay us maintenance, tells me not to text -

queenofthepirates Wed 12-Feb-14 23:29:16

'Hello is that the CSA? Great, I'd like to open a case....'

That's all it takes.

He takes nothing from the house because he doesn't come in the house. Your house, your rules.

Come on, tough up and make him pay for his kids.

Joules68 Wed 12-Feb-14 23:58:09

Don't think the CSA are taking new cases on are they?

summermovedon Thu 13-Feb-14 07:25:46

CSA. The worst he does is a take a tv? He has to get into the house first. Pack all his things that are still there and leave them on the doorstep for him, and change the locks. He can't just waltz into your home and take your son's xbox.

meglet Thu 13-Feb-14 07:56:41

CSA. I know loads of people have problems but I had my first payment in 6 weeks, not had a problem in the 4yrs since it was set up. And we haven't seen XP in 5yrs.

And he'd have to prove the belongings were his before he could take them. XP tried that on me (fridge, tv, printer), then decided it was too much hassle.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Thu 13-Feb-14 15:30:07

yep, CSA, I too have never had a problem with them even though I had to apply for a variation due to my ex being self employed.

And like the other poster says, he won't come in your house. Why would you let your ex in your house?

foolonthehill Thu 13-Feb-14 22:32:48

i think it is called the Child Maintenance Service now..and you will have to pay a small fee...he pays a larger one. But even with that it's still going to be better than what you are getting now, and he can;t use money as a stick to beat you with any more.

the trouble is you are still trying not to upset him and pander to won't work. he's not suddenly going to turn into a reasonable man, not even for the sake of his children so this is where you take the bull by the horns. stop asking for his permission or his help. Stop hoping he's a nice guy underneath and just be straightforward and matter of fact.

you can't live on thin air. So you have to sort the finances. He's an arse so you need professional help to do it:

Child Maintenance Options
Telephone: 0800 083 4375
Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm
Saturdays, 9am to 4pm

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