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Compliance Officer

(13 Posts)
zafira63 Fri 07-Feb-14 14:11:09

Hi Everyone,
I have just joined today and how sad it is that i feel the need to find a website were i can talk to other people because this compliance officer have made me feel so scared and so worried that i am sitting here crying as i write this.

Monetbyhimself Fri 07-Feb-14 14:39:44

What has happened ?

zafira63 Fri 07-Feb-14 14:52:27

I had a letter saying that a compliance officer was coming in 3 weeks time, Well he came today and made me feel like a criminal, He said he has given me 28 days to decide if i want to change my statement i signed saying i was a single parent because some one had reported me for still living with my x. And yes he does come to see my children at the weekends and no he never gives me any money, We still try to keep things as normal as possible because i have a son with Aspergers and any changes in the everyday life he has makes things twice as bad, It seems that you have to have to have no life and your not aloud to get on with your x as they make you feel like a criminal, He made me feel like i should have confessed to something i haven't done, He sees them at the weekend but he isn't here all week why do i feel so stressed like i don't have enough to worry about with my son home schooled as he suffers such bad anxiety attacks thats it is a struggle to get him out, Altho he says he feels safer going out with his dad or us all together i am at age now were boyfriends and dating really isn't on my list of things to do!! And a age were i don't see the point in stressing my children out to satisfy others.. Sorry for being rude i should have said thank you for the reply. ;)

honey86 Fri 07-Feb-14 21:23:59

I saw one today, cos i had a baby so they assumed im still with the dad. Im not, and have never lived with him. He cant keep it in his pants long enough for it to get to that stage hmm i know what you mean though, it feels awful x

zafira63 Fri 07-Feb-14 22:09:03

I don't even have a small baby hun and i am to old and tired to even want one now if anything i should be thinking about being a nanny now ;) I have had all the dramas in my life about not speaking to kids dad and who hates who the most we are at the stage in life were its the kids that matter and with my 14 year having Aspergers it makes for a easier life to try and keep a routine thats semi normal, Because i keep myself to myself i get reported for what but to be made to feel a criminal.

surromummy Fri 07-Feb-14 22:12:57

Its a scary situation but as long as it is how you say you should be fine and they cant take further action. Does he have any connection to you at all? financially/contracts/tenancy/bills/post to your house? if not Im not sure what exactly they can prove!

zafira63 Fri 07-Feb-14 22:30:21

Hi hun,
No i pay all my bills hun its my own tenancy and his post never comes to me we do have contact for our children more so my son really and he does love his kids i never disputed that its just me and him that can't live together, But he seems most weekends of which i told them and if i am being honest i don't mind that it makes my son happy and isn't that what all parents want in the end i mean i am to old and tired to do all the lets hate each other stuff anymore, He just made me feel like a criminal saying you have 28days to change your statement i mean i felt like i should have said something he wanted to hear! I am still really stressed about it i know i shouldn't be and i try to reason it in my head but its just nice to have someone to talk to. ;)

starlight1234 Sat 08-Feb-14 16:44:06

They make you feel like this for a reason to make those guilty feel like they know...

IT doesn't make it any easier for you...You have told the truth try to get on with your weekend and put it to the back of your mind the best you can

Mintymoomoo Sat 08-Feb-14 18:50:22

As a lone parent your ex could stay at your house up to 3 night a week and they can't do anything!

I had a letter from housing benefit a year ago to say my boyfriend was living with me and I had 14 days to respond, I wrote a letter stating he didn't live with me, lives 40 miles away and gave his address and work address and told them he only stays at weekend (2 nights a week) and that was fine never heard from them again

mercibucket Sat 08-Feb-14 18:56:11

they just do it to make the guilty ones fess up
they will just check bank statements, bills, his home address etc and see that you lead separate livex
sorry someone reported you sad

JessePinkmanIsMine Sat 08-Feb-14 20:07:53

The number of nights a week thing is a myth. There is no set numbers a week. You could have a partner stay one night a week and still get benefits stopped if they have reason to believe he contributes financially. A partner could stay four or five nights as long as you have evidence that he does not contribute financially.

zafira63 Sat 08-Feb-14 21:46:53

Hi All,

Thank you all for writing back to me, He pays his all bills i pay all mine and have proof as they come out my bank on direct debit, What he does with his money is none of my business we are friendly enough as when you get to my age hate is just a waste of a day ;/ But he doe's come here at the weekend to see his kids as i have mentioned my son has Aspergers and to change a routine for him can get very stressful.. But i pay all my own bills and wouldn't have it any other way.

zafira63 Sat 08-Feb-14 22:14:05

These certain 2 creatures are always reporting me i wish they would take as much notice of when they follow me in the street chase me down the road and spit in my face do they do anything about that no they don't!! He said i was reported back in june i know who it is its not rocket science its just draining and quite frankly scary but he don't pay any of my bills like i said so i guess i shouldn't really worry. ;)

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