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Do you still live near child's dad?

(29 Posts)
1983mummy Wed 22-Jan-14 15:39:03

Out of curiosity I wondered if you remain living near your child's dad?

LadyEdward Wed 22-Jan-14 15:41:48

No, he moved a 2 hour drive away, now hardly see's ds.

Monetbyhimself Wed 22-Jan-14 16:58:50

Mine moved 2 hours away.

feelinlucky Wed 22-Jan-14 17:03:10

Yep, 10 min drive but still doesn't spend time with him.

Dwerf Wed 22-Jan-14 17:07:07

My ex lives on the next street up. It's literally two minutes walk away.

Serobin Wed 22-Jan-14 17:09:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DollyHouse Wed 22-Jan-14 17:12:32


CharlieAlphaKiloEcho Wed 22-Jan-14 17:21:01

Nope. I moved 400 miles away when pg.

At the time he denied he was the father and vowed never to disrupt his life to involve the baby in any way. He was very clear that he could not have the baby 'inflicted' on him in anyway.

I moved to be with family and build a support network.

It took him 3 years but now he sees DC and I'm that evil itch who stole his child away. Apparently I was supposed to wait around until he 'got his head around it' hmm

17leftfeet Wed 22-Jan-14 17:21:37

My ex has recently bought a house 5 minutes away which our oldest walks past on the way to school -she's changed her route to avoid him

1983mummy Wed 22-Jan-14 17:43:38

Thanks for your answers. Reason I ask is that I was with my dd's dad since we were teenagers, we never moved away or experienced other places. Now we've split I've felt that there's little keeping me here; my friends have shown and told me that they have their own lives (thanks then!) and my parents and I aren't very close. However I feel that because I have a child I cannot move her away from her father.

happygirl87 Wed 22-Jan-14 17:50:40

We've always lived 2hrs away from DSD. It's a pain for things like school plays/parent's evenings, but otherwise it works. Depends a bit on your custody arrangement- is DD with her Dad much in the week atm?

noisytoys Wed 22-Jan-14 17:55:31

The next street but he comes round daily to take the DDs to school so it's useful having him near

1983mummy Wed 22-Jan-14 20:25:25

He has her currently a weds, then sat and sun night. This isn't a permanent agreement though

Brittapie Wed 22-Jan-14 20:30:34

We're in the same street, which also contains the school. It works really well.

JuliaGulia Wed 22-Jan-14 20:48:53

He lives 5 minutes drive away (with his mum). He picks up and drops the children off at nursery on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. He also has them every Friday night. The OW is moving to the area specifically so that he can be near his children.

helmaria Wed 22-Jan-14 20:54:48

Mine lives 4 hours up the motorway. We meet half way to swap every other weekend. Has a big impact on our lives. I think its such a shame for the children to spend a Friday night on the motorway.

DollyHouse Wed 22-Jan-14 20:55:20

See, I can understand moving away to get more family support or for work reasons or something to improve your lives but what would your reason be apart from escaping memories? Your dds dad seems involved with his dd so you risk affecting that by moving for the sake of it. It seems a shame to waste that.

TheOrchardKeeper Wed 22-Jan-14 21:15:51

Funny thread timing.

DS's dad had been having him overnight for once a fortnight...going really well for a year now.

Today he moved to cornwall (a 190 mile drive ONE WAY) with his mum purely because housing is cheaper & he wants to be with 'family' (ie his mum). Nice. Ds isn't family then hmm

Montessorisam Thu 23-Jan-14 12:50:20

Mine is half hour drive away..but he's just told me he is moving out of the whole county to be further away as he can't live 'on call' for the kids! ok then, I presume he won;t be seeing the kids much after this.

rainbowfeet Thu 23-Jan-14 12:59:32

After much soul searching I moved 80 miles from dd's Dad... He made me feel really guilty & still does.. But we moved for a better life & the area we are in now is so much nicer for children.
I don't drive so admittedly it is probably hassle for him although his partner drives so they can share the driving & dd sometimes gets a lift back to old area from a family friend who lives near us so ex doesn't always have to drive.

On a personal level as an ex-wife the distance between us was much needed, I finally feel like I have my independence & freedom.

lostdad Fri 24-Jan-14 08:29:56

I live near my son. She moved him 300 miles to an area she had no links with nor a support network during the court case and I moved too.

3xcookedchips Fri 24-Jan-14 09:38:22

Careful! On here you'll likely to get accused of stalking your own son!

wannaBe Fri 24-Jan-14 09:46:05

yes we live about a two minute bus ride or ten minut walk apart. I stayed here despite having no family or support network in order to maintain the relationship between xh and ds.

On the whole it works well but the downside is that xh has now reached a point where he expects ds to make his own way to his on the nights he has him, and ds is reluctant to do that. He's eleven. He's happy to go out to play/go to the shops/to/from school on his own but I think he has a bit of a block on an expectation that it's somehow his responsibility to go between his parents' houses, and the idea that his dad can text him on his way home from work so he can just be there doesn't sit well with ds.

Finabhear Fri 24-Jan-14 09:53:39

I grew up in a different country to my dad. I saw him every holiday. When I left school I moved to the same country as him. I see him more than my mum now and I'm happy with that.

No - he moved so is now about 1.5 hrs away.

However he is moving again, so will be about 45 mins away.

The access arrangements have not changed though.

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