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Lone parent with two kids, no money at all, how do you do it

50 replies

oopsadaisyme · 03/01/2014 16:14

Getting £26 a week taken off income support for an unknown fine and ancient budgeting loan, now totalling 2000 apparently, and due to my ex -

I pay 30 per week to top up my rent (so have just cancelled out my child benefit) - I cannot move the kids again

20 + 25 for gas and electric per week on meter

Debts owing, tv and council tax clears out the rest -

So how the hell do I feed and clothe my family?

I'm crying my eyes out writing this - I have no extended family, and balliff letters a plenty right now -

What do I do??

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Dontletthemgetyoudown · 03/01/2014 16:19

Citizens advice beaureu to check you are receiving everything you are entitled to. Find out what debts if any can be written off or put onto minimum payment plans.

If the budgeting loan was in your xp's name see if that can be transferred to him? Seems wrong that they can chase just you for it.

Do you get tax credits? That could be used for food shopping. You might need to seriously food plan and shop using supermarket basics. But it is doable plenty of people do cope. First thing first is get that appointment at cab and get some help with entitlements and sorting out the debts.

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Katkins1 · 03/01/2014 16:24

Tax credits for food shopping. CAB to pay the minimum every week on debts. See if you can get full housing benefit- you should on income support. You should get council tax benefit, too. Please go and check, you aren't getting your full entitlement from what you have said there.

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oopsadaisyme · 03/01/2014 16:26

I get child tax credits, but that cancels out debts I'm paying off, council tax, tv license and excess gas or electric we may need -

after that, I'm in the minus figures -

not accounting for phone?internet bill, just waiting to get cut off -

Then no internet, phone, food, clothes,

I need to work, but childcare seem to be a fortune, and I've no family to help,

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Farrowandbawlbauls · 03/01/2014 16:28

Council tax should only be taking £14 a month off you for this year then another £14 for the arrears. I'd look into that one with the CAB.

Tax credits are a must and will help you out no end.

Renegociate with everyone you can and tell then you are on benefits - I seem to recall they can only take so much off you for bills, I think it's about £5 a month but I may be wrong.

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oopsadaisyme · 03/01/2014 16:29

kat apparrently I do get full housing benefit, but because of a 'box room', will not allow excess they think I'm entiteled to, hense need to pay 30 per week to landlord in 'top up' x

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stargirl1701 · 03/01/2014 16:29

You need to make an appt with the Citizen's Advice Bureau. They can negotiate with your debtors to make your payments manageable and check you are receiving everything you are entitled to.

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Farrowandbawlbauls · 03/01/2014 16:30

Whoah - landlord?

If you are in private renting, that cap doesn't apply...it only applies to council and housing associations, not private landlords.

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NigellasDealer · 03/01/2014 16:33

how old are your children?
could you set up a small business perhaps online - you will still get wftc , ctc, cb, and possibly hb too.
or a small cleaning company? it would only take a pile of leaflets and a phone line.
also what about CSA?

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2whippetsnobed · 03/01/2014 16:45

I f you can please look at Moneysavingexpert website. There are usually loads of helpful people who can make suggestions about how you can move forward.
I think you should go to the CAB as soon as you can. The charity Stepchange may also be able to advise you too.

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RogueRebel · 03/01/2014 16:47

How old are your dc? what are you claiming at the moment? IS? JSA?

I'm a lone parent with two and I have recently started working 16hours per week because of the same problems your having.

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oopsadaisyme · 03/01/2014 17:37

Nigella Thinking outside the box, fantastic ideas x

My Ds's 4 and 10, (ds2 a sept baby, so starts full time next

Rouge i dont mind working anywhere for any hours aslong as we can manage -

(What I'd love to know is how they think single mums are doing this on purpose??? I've worked my whole life, how and why)))!!

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teenagetantrums · 03/01/2014 17:48

I am single mum of two teenagers, although one is over 19 now and at college but i don't get any money for him. I have been unemployed for just over a year, it is hard

I only pay £10 a week on the gas and electric, so £20 in total its cold but we cant afford the heating on. I get £60 a week CTC for one child, so you should be getting £120 plus your income support balance a week. How much do you spend in the supermarket, we eat lots of cheap pasta/rice and value mince.

You have to pay council tax everything else phone them and tell them you can only make a £1 a week token payment until you get a job, i have no one say no when i have offered this.

Clothes and shoes will be a problem for you as your kids are still growing, what about their dad does he help? I get my DD one thing a week from primark so she had clothes but only basic ones, if she wants ore expensive she gets them from her dad or for Christmas/birthday.

I second getting over MSE they have lots of boards with good tips.

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teenagetantrums · 03/01/2014 17:49

Can you move save the £30 a week rent you have to pay?

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FourAndDone · 03/01/2014 17:55

I agree to pay everyone £1 a week except council tax. Also agree with checking about whether you need to top up your rent with it been a private let.
I don't think moving is an option. How will op afford moving van, childcare during move, bond etc?

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EachAndEveryHighway · 03/01/2014 17:59

£20 and £25 for gas and electricity seems an enormous amount per week - that's £200 per month!! Surely that could be cut down - do you have gas central heating? If so there must be ways to bring your electric down.

Also do you not get maintenance?

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Farrowandbawlbauls · 03/01/2014 18:03

As said before, that's a huge amount of energy. Can you look at other deals if not on prepay or getting the landlord to take the meter out so you can get a cheaper deal on DD.

Also, if your ex has taken out anything you are not actually liable for it. I can't understand why they are taking it out of our IS if it's HIS loan.

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Babyroobs · 03/01/2014 18:04

If you got a job for at least 16 hours a week you will be better off hopefully as you would get working tax credit too. You would also get a large chunk of any childcare costs paid.

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Farrowandbawlbauls · 03/01/2014 18:06

If you earn under £100 a week you are still entitled to your IS as well.

Go to the CAB for all your options. They are brilliant and a damn sight more helpful than the job centre have ever been.

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HappyMummyOfOne · 03/01/2014 18:10

You need to find any job asap and then agree a repayment plan for the budgetting loan. If you have worked all your life then you should have recent contacts, references and experience.

Find a template on the net and offer all the companies you owe payment to a token payment with a promise to review once working.

You also need to get the childrens father to assist, be it in money terms or more access to save you some childcare costs once working.

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oopsadaisyme · 03/01/2014 18:25

I phoned the gas/electric company who said it was low, I should be spending 2.90 per day on both, at the lowest cost!!???

I'm on a meter, and it eats credit -

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oopsadaisyme · 03/01/2014 18:26

(Near £6 a day for gas and electric??)

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Farrowandbawlbauls · 03/01/2014 18:28

That's not low.

I'm paying £100 a month for both in a 3 bed semi - THAT's on the low side and not even considered to be low.

You also need to apply for the winter discount asap. Call up your energy supplier to see if you qualify - it's not just for pensioners.

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oopsadaisyme · 03/01/2014 18:45

to be honest I give up, I'm so fucking tired,

I need to work, that's just it, so how do I get childcare and jobs to make us better off??

(btw, i'm not an underqualified lout, I've worked my whole life in many a successful capacity, from Publishing companies, project co-ordinator for the council, management PA for the NHS)

Right now, I'd clean toilets to make ends meet

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Dontletthemgetyoudown · 03/01/2014 19:21

We have key meters here and I pay £20 a week on the gas that include £5 arrears so £15 usage and £5 a week on electric. I'm in a 3 bed semi extended downstairs to twice the size of upstairs so your tariff seems extremely high to me.
I don't have my heating on a timer I don't turn it on on a morning as we are all showering and leaving for work/college/school (1 adult 4 dc aged 16, 11, 7 & 4). The heating usually goes on around 4pm until 6 or 7 pm then it gets too warm. I am strict about dc putting on sweatshirts or a onesie if they are cold.

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RogueRebel · 03/01/2014 19:28

sometimes working doesn't make you better off, you will lose free school meals for a start. You need to first write down all your outgoings on paper then everything you receive.

Then write to all your debtors and explain you are a single parent on benefits (I know this may be embarrassing for some people it was for me) This will give the debtors a clearer picture, they won't enforce court action as they will only get a minimum payment plan and court fees.
when you write ask if they would be willing to freeze the debt and payments while you look for a job and get you financial situation in a better state, offer a review after 6months. they usually accept this.

Then look and see if there is anywhere you can make cuts?
Why do you pay the extra £30 rent in private housing?

in relation to the loan phone/write and ask why your ex hasn't been chased for half?

I was sent a letter about repaying CTC from when I was with my ex, I questioned why I was solely responsible and they cut the amount in half which made a big difference.

Before you look for a job, do some childcare research. where is it available, prices etc this will give you an idea of costing, you can claim 70% of the cost of your childcare but there is a capped amount per week.
after you have prices for childcare, make an appointment for the Job centre they can input all your info into the computer and it will give you all the benefits available and show you the amount of money your going to be better off by. But be warned this won't take into account your traveling costs to and from work which could cancel out any profit

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