Tips being a single, working mama!?

[deepbluewave]

Hi- I never post, but I am admitting to anyone that will listen- that I need help! I'm a working single mum of a 30 month old & I am shattered! As of tomorrow, my work moves premises & my week & commute & day is about to get a whole lot harder!!!

I'm stressed, tired, look like a bag of shit. I scrub & scrub at the black under my eye, only to realise the mascara washed away 10 mins since.
I want survival tips, short cuts. How can I make my life easier. I have come up with a few I do- batch cooking- showers for him the busiest nights of the week- but what else? And how to stop the guilt of not being round my boy or having a normal family I can give him!!!!

[cestlavielife]

slowcooker

bb cream and under eye roll on (i dont go infor makeup much but these two help look more alive!!)

you dont need to bath him every day


dump the guilt.

[funkypigeon]

Agree with pp, first thing you need to do is dump the guilt. You are trying your best, that's it.

Practical things that help me-
-shower at bedtime
-lay out stuff ready for next morning

• get a cleaner if you can afford it

-yes to slow cooker

[queenofthepirates]

This isn't answering your question but are you sure this is the right job? I've been in your shoes and make it work by saying no to full time work amongst other things.

[deepbluewave]

Yeah I've got a slow cooker! It has helped.
I do 4 days a week. By the time he starts primary a few more debts will have dropped & more things paid off, so I plan on cutting my hours to be there more at the begining & end of the day.
I'll try BB cream!!!!

[Minime85]

ft teacher with 2 dcs aged 8 and 6. its hard work and I'm shattered. but agree with lots of what others say I pack all our bags night before, I try and eat at work most days. slow cooker too. school dinners for dcs. get family to help out to if u can.

[Onmyown3]

Make a meal planner even so it includes any snacks before after nursery/childminders etc (even if you don't always stick to it, least you'll have meals in etc)

Try and make at least a pasta dish or items you can re heat and is convenient.

Bath/shower dc every other night. Ensure you have a routine in place ie - super, pjs teeth etc, story & bed.

Shower and do your hair every evening - try not to bother showering in a morning (or at least have hair styled ie straightened night before) or if you can shower and style hair, towel dry and use mouse on hair for natural curls - very quick! Or try messy buns etc. Use concealer under eyes, always apply blushed to give yourself some colour.

Get clothes for you and dc sorted night before including any pack lunches etc. even get shoes, coat etc out.

Try not to get distracted by mobile phones, news etc in morning - its easily done.

If having breakfast get breakfast pota, table set, cereal boxes out etc night before.

Make sure little ones bag is backed night before too. Prioritise house work ie washing, leave ironing for & hoovering for weekends if possible. Get dc to join in tidying where poss - kids love it!

Try and break week up by doing something fun just you and ur little one if possible. Ie - tea out or movie in bed together or similar.

Get a diary - make plans to give yourself mile stones for you and dc to look forward to.

Make sure you get to bed before 10pm each night and have plenty of rest.

I use to have a shower and watch emmerdale with a glass of wine after dcs were in bed - that was my me time.

Good luck, sure you'll be fine. Us women are very strong £ independent more than you probably realise :) x

[Onmyown3]

& just remember its great that your being such a great role model in your child's life - being on your own isn't easy but very rewarding! Once your in a routine you'll find it a breeze!

Good luck (hugs) x

[BeCool]

There is a great blog post on MN ATM about how a lot of the stresses and demands are simply because you are a working mother - rather than a single working mother!

It's certainly true IME - not having to dance around DP and deal with whatever mood or belligerent state he might be in makes my life so much easier now. I used to think he did half the housework - oh how I laugh about that now.

My point is many of the issues we face as LP are things women are dealing with if they have a P or not. And sometimes there are benefits to flying solo.

I try and get as much housework etc as I can done before the weekend - I want to spend as much time with my 2 DC as I can doing things together on our weekends. Making memories. Having fun. It makes it all worthwhile.

[LionessOfThePride]

Simple but healthy meals save a lot of time while still ticking all the 'Good Mama' boxes. They can also be made in advance. I have two friends who are both single mothers in the area and we each look after each other's children once a week. Gives me 2-3 hours Tuesdays and Thursdays to try and get on top of life. I often use that time to make things that I know will last through the week like chicken and leek pies, lasagna, etc.

[deepbluewave]

Wow! I'm totally inspired. I don't know what it is, but when I'm jumping from one job to the next, I feel like the only person in the world doing it. You can feel so alone, but your right, it's not that much different if you have a DP & I did find flying solo easier once DH had gone!
I do all those things suggested- pat on the back all round!!!!!

[deepbluewave]

Thanks people. I had such a shit week. Took me 2 hours to get home last night. I can't drive to work, cos it too me 25 minutes to leave the car park. I tried the bus & sat blubbering on it!

[mammadiggingdeep]

Part time teacher with 2 pre schoolers.

King rollo...our lives sound identical! Even down to the main meal at lunch, toast on sofa and showers mid week!!! Lol.

I can beat you in the bed time though...I'm usually in bed by 9 and Thursday nights are often 8.00!!!

[mammadiggingdeep]

Sorry op, missed your last post.
So sorry you had a shit week and the commute is awful...can you catch a train? Even part way? Quicker than bus...

[aziraphale]

deepblue - nothing really to add except echo the comments about batch cooking, getting clothes out ready and showers in the evening.
I'm a single mother to a 9 mo and more or less in exactly the same position. His father has no interest in him whatsoever, which makes me feel especially guilty when I can't play with him at weekend because I'm doing the washing etc. Life is a constant catch-up. However, we do have a routine, and yes we are tired on Thursdays, and I look like a bag of shit most days, but we're happy. We look forward to things, we socialise, we're okay.
A bit of empathy goes a long way though and if this wasn't Mumsnet I'd be giving you a hug.

[Meglet]

Can you look into changing your job? I lasted a few months with a 40 min commute. TBH within a couple of weeks I knew I had to start job hunting as I was getting ill.

TBH even after 5yrs of working locally and being seriously organised, things aren't easier for me. I can get us to school and work on time, but I last cleaned the bathroom in sept. I have to prioritise eating well and resting, housework doesn't even register anymore.