about to go through divorce, single mum

[thetoilet]

hi all

I have a weird one here... my wife and I are about to get a divorce. we are going through a lot of pain with her family but I am not going to go into that now.

we want to have a very friendly split where we remain friends.

on top of that, I fully intend to support her into her new life, more than I probably should but that's me all over.

bringing the kids up will be 50/50 or maybe biased towards me. however, it seems that making her primary care on the legal side would be better for her in terms of benefits

I am hoping someone can help me out on a few questions

I have never claimed benefits in my life (except child benefit). I earn pretty good money and hopefully will continue to. however we bought a big house together which is negative equity and we own no other assets.

she works part time but earns the guts of 12k a year (maybe a touch more).

using the benefits calculator, I think she can get around 7-8k benefits a year which brings her to a good wage!

what I want to know, is how do we go about housing benefit... I was thinking about taking out a 70-80k over here, nice ones... and that would mean she would have a 25 year mortgage of around £400 a months...

question is, do I need to buy this house now as a couple to essentially fool the system?

I have already made up her up a full annual budget and all (she is terrible for money so is crying out for help).

we are planning to stay in our old house together until we have a house sorted.

what do u think? what is our best approach here?

cheers
me.

[lizzie479]

I think you need to speak with your wife regards this and a solicitor. What is best is what is best for the children. Leave the finances to the solicitor and you and your wife can sort things out separately. I'm sure your wife will find her feet and manage the finances alone once she has to. You need to concentrate on yourself and your children now. You also need to look at maintenance. All these things require legal advice. You can get some help from entitled to.com and CSA. Get a free half hour with a solicitor too. Always keep the kids in the frame. Good luck x

[lizzie479]

Also I hate to say it but it seems your slant on the break up and subsequent moving on is predominantly about finances (what she is getting/what you are getting etc.) How about asking how best to split without causing too much damage to the children? Your decisions should be made on keeping their lives as happy and damage free as possible. Its hard to think straight when these things happen though. So I can empathise. Just put those little ones first :)

[SandyDilbert]

claim housing benefit on a mortgage? HB is for rent isn't it?

[lizzie479]

Thats right. You only get help with mortgage interest if you dont work :(

[SandyDilbert]

also I think your priority of fooling the system is every shade of wrong. And why are you doing her budget for her - surely she is capable of doing that without your input. no longer your business is it if you are splitting up?

[queenofthepirates]

Lawks, as a hard working, tax paying single mum, I have to say I would rather you didn't try to fool the system as you put it. I work my fingers off to keep us afloat and would much rather you didn't try to bend the rules!