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Present for xDH from the DC'a

(14 Posts)
yummymummylol Sat 23-Nov-13 19:20:25

Hi, it's my first Christmas as a lone parent. Every year it would have been me that bought all the presents (birthdays, Christmas etc) but what I am wondering should I get xDH a present from the DC's?
XDH has a new DP who he lives with.

nefelibata Sat 23-Nov-13 19:35:03

last year I gave my exH (first year post separation) a studio pic of our DC together.

He helped the boys 'shop' for me, by taking my 2yo to a charity shop, wrapping up the first bit of tat they picked up and leaving the price tag on it.

My ex however, is a twat. Is yours?

This year I have suggested that his gf (OW) buy presents for him from our DC as my DM will be helping our DC buy them from me and I don't want to give him the satisfaction of giving me something disrespectful and cheap through our DC

It's up to you. You owe him nothing. This year I have also decided to buy myself something SUPER awesome I really want, but wrap it up and put it under the tree from 'Santa' to me. Last year was truly shit. This year he won't spoil it for me.

Good luck

yummymummylol Sat 23-Nov-13 19:50:19

Yes my ex is a twat! The only year he bought me a present (from him or the kids) was last year so I certainly don't ever expect him to get something for me from the kids, but just unsure if the 'right' thing to do would be to get him something

WhoNickedMyName Sat 23-Nov-13 19:51:57

I'd say it's up to your ex's parents if they're still around. Until your children are old enough to sort it themselves.

Charcoalbriquettes Sat 23-Nov-13 19:53:48

We had this recently with a birthday present. My ex is not a twat however I had no money, so the dc used their pennies to get him the type of chocolate he likes. It was a gesture.

nefelibata Sat 23-Nov-13 19:57:50

be the bigger person if you can be arsed to be. I think it's important to teach my kids to give as well as receive, but after the last years nonsense I will teach them that via grandparents, not my ex, who us a twat.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 23-Nov-13 20:02:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 23-Nov-13 20:04:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starlight1234 Sat 23-Nov-13 23:23:31

the last year My DS saw his Dad I bought him a 29p book from homebargains...but he was giving me £5 a week maintenance not sure if he thinks the maintenece money should be sent back to him.

EdithWeston Sat 23-Nov-13 23:34:57

The right thing I think (but there are probably many shades of right thing) is to foster your DCs relationship with their father even when he's a twat.

DCs with two parents usually give a present to each, under the guidance of the other IYSWIM. If he's a twat and doesn't do this, it's no reason for you to match that. But if you can't stomach actually getting a Present, this could be a good opportunity to pass on a child-made object, or have them make a card and give something (like a pack of Haribo?) that would only have been chosen by a child.

heidiwine Sun 24-Nov-13 09:10:15

My DP has 2 children. We always buy their mum a present - DP gives each girl a defined amount of money and takes them shopping to choose something for their mum. We also encourage them to make something for her. We believe that this teaches the girls about giving (as opposed to getting). I do the same thing with them for their dad (as the girls mum sounds a bit like your ex... Charity shop gifts with prices on that will never be used)

Tuckshop Sun 24-Nov-13 11:10:23

I'm still tempted by the BBQ apron that says "Prick with a Fork".

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 24-Nov-13 13:59:08

ExH does nothing. I helped DD choose a photo print it and put it in a frame for his birthday and she gave him shower gel for Christmas.

SomePeopleAreIdiots Sun 24-Nov-13 16:31:29

Agree it's about teaching your child to give. I am also getting myself something good from ds.

Ex gets homemade christmas decoration type thing. Cheap, gives you something to do with them and any parent should be pleased to get something so delightful from their kid.

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