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Cannot get ds to settle in cot, seem to be heading towards co-sleeping...

(16 Posts)
chloebruce93 Mon 11-Nov-13 10:24:05

I need some advice, ds is 7 weeks old and I have been trying him in his cot for about 3 weeks. Before that he was in a Moses basket on the bed with me and had to sleep on a curled up pillow or he wouldn't settle. I've tried swaddling (arms in and out), I've tried putting a top of mine in the cot with him, he has a night light, I feel like I've tried everything. Some nights I am so exhausted I just put him in bed with me and although he's up every 3 hours (breastfeeding), we both get a great nights sleep. Does anyone have any advice for me? Or think that co-sleeping is a good idea? Help!!

chloebruce93 Mon 11-Nov-13 10:26:18

DS 21/09/13

cestlavielife Mon 11-Nov-13 11:49:03

do whatever you need to do.
he is only seven weeks old !!

if he was seven months you could debate for ages but at this age you do what you have to that works for you. dont listen to anyone else.

starlight1234 Mon 11-Nov-13 19:43:38

My son never really settled well and co slept till he was about 18mnths..

At this age sleep /milk and a clean bum are all that matter in the world so yes if you both sleep better do it.

PennyroyalTea Mon 11-Nov-13 22:46:18

OP, What the others said, seven weeks is no age! Do whatever you need to both get some rest, I co slept with my DD pretty much constantly (after the first 48 hours and realising I was going to be up every 2 hours otherwise!) until she started self-soothing and sleeping for longer stretches, which she did at about 15 weeks, so now she's in a cot, but I still co-sleep every now and again; if she keeps waking/struggles to settle for too long.

Boobybeau Mon 11-Nov-13 22:54:16

Do what you need to do! Co sleeping/bed sharing is safer then leaving loose clothing in his cot or letting him sleep in a pillow. It's exhausting so go with what works and don't let anyone tell you your 'making a rod for your back' x

Scarlettsstars Mon 11-Nov-13 22:57:19

Just enjoy the snuggling- while it lasts!

Flatasawitchestit Mon 11-Nov-13 22:59:05

Agree, sometimes you have to pick your battles so to speak. Whatever gets you through today and tomorrow.

queenofthepirates Tue 12-Nov-13 22:03:15

I'll swap you for a toddler who wakes me up at 3am shouting 'BREAKFAST!'
enjoy it whilst it lasts xxx

CiderwithBuda Tue 12-Nov-13 22:07:18

If you are happy co-sleeping go for it.

If not - have you tried a grobag? Can't remember what age they are ok from though.

Is the cot in a draft? DS didn't settle in his in one position in th room and one night when I was sitting on th floor but the cot I realised there was a draft. Moved the cot and it was much better.

BerstieSpotts Tue 12-Nov-13 22:08:41

I co-slept. I think it's a great idea! smile Especially as you're a lone parent, there is nobody to share the night time bits with, might as well make it as easy on yourself as possible - and if you have a double bed to yourself, then plenty of room!

I think DS would have been ready to move out of my bed at about age 1 but that's when I left XP, so I kept him in with me to keep that reassurance/familiarity. He moved out with no problems at all, to a normal single bed at just over 2 years old.

I even managed to meet someone else while co-sleeping so although I imagine that is the furthest thing from your mind right now, it need not affect that either.

Read up on the safety guidelines, get yourself informed and go for it. I loved it. I would absolutely do it again.

Theincidental Tue 12-Nov-13 22:17:00

Co-sleeping as a lone parent is so much easier and kinder for both of you. You can google safe ways to co-sleep so you can arrange your bed and bedding right.

I used to sleep wearing a long sleeve top or dressing gown with the duvet rolled around my waist so my Ds could sleep next to me with no worries of too much bedding. I put cushions on the floor round the bed (tho he never rolled out).

When Ds was less than 4 months old, I put him in a best and sleep suit with a couple of those holey blankets over him to keep him warm. It was easier with him next to me to tell if he was too hot or too cold. You can check temp by fingers on the back of the neck, as their little hands are often cold, but overall they aren't cold (iykwim). Get a room thermometer too. After 4 months gro bags were brilliant.

It made waking for feeds so much more comfy as I could breastfeeding in bed and the we'd both go back to sleep easily and I was less of a zombie. We'd both get better sleep.

I miss the tiny snuggling baby months! I now have a wriggly toddler who likes to dig his toes in my back when I let him kip with me. He also talks incessantly about tractors at 2am!

Good luck and enjoy the cuddles and time together.

starlight1234 Tue 12-Nov-13 23:04:52

just to add Incidence of Cot death is much lower co sleeping and there are many advantages to it ......It really isn't a bad thing why are you worried about it?

SupSlick Thu 14-Nov-13 16:20:53

I struggled with DS for four months trying to get him in a cot. He only slept 20 minutes at a time for those four months in his cot unless I was holding him.
At four months I fell asleep with him & he slept from 3am-11am or so & it was bloody wonderful. I had wondered why every time I had woke in the first four months I had sleepily rummaged around my bed to find DS & then realised he was in his cot crying. I think that was my motherly instinct telling me that he was meant to be cuddled up to me and also that I'm too lazy to get up in the night anymore

My DGM gave me the best advice on parenting, amongst all the other unhelpful advice off people & that was to do what was easiest for you & baby on the day. Don't worry about the next day, you can always do something different then.

DS is still in my bed at 13 months so it means by 7pm we're snuggled down & I'm watching a bazillion tv shows on Netflix.
Otherwise, if you do decide not to co sleep, you can always try the hot water bottle/ worn t shirt/ patting techniques others use.

uhOhOhDear Sat 16-Nov-13 14:16:18

I'm a single parent, I didn't plan to but have co slept all the way through since birth, dd is now 2, she has slept in her cot until I go to bed since about 1 yo. I love it, lots of sleep and lots of cuddles :-)

justhayley Tue 19-Nov-13 00:31:05

Whatever gets you through, it's as simple as that! I didn't want to Co sleep but I had a baby who refused to sleep longer than 10-20 mins at a time unless he was on me. I'm not technically a single parent, but DP is military, he's home at weekends but also goes away a lot so I'm on my own most of the time.
DS is now 19 months and we still co sleep and breastfeed. I have days where I wish he would sleep in his cot but most of the time it's THE ONLY way I'll get sleep. Plus I love the cuddles.

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