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Quick rant

(6 Posts)
balia Sun 15-Sep-13 11:22:15

Get onto the CSA - he might have spun them a tale - my ex told them my DD was off to Uni last year (she wasn't, she still had a year of A-levels to do as he knew full well, she's gone this year) and they just accepted it!

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 15-Sep-13 11:14:09

This time of year is so hard isn't it ?

Have you spoken to CSA about it?

TwoStepsBeyond Sun 15-Sep-13 11:11:49

I know how you feel, this month has been hard here too, residential trip to pay for, uniforms/sports kits/shoes etc. and one of mine is upper school, so even more expensive and he won't accept Tesco trainers!

I even had to cancel DS's music lessons as I couldn't afford them this term sad

I think they see how much happier we are without them and so they don't feel obliged to keep supporting us. My XH knows that my new DP is pretty well off so he thinks he should be supporting us - what he doesn't get is that they earn the same amount and DP has his own ex to support! Tosser.

Hope you can get it backdated. Can you contact him and say "for some reason it hasn't been paid this month - can he contact them to find out what the problem is and when you're going to get the money, as it is needed for the DCs' uniforms etc"

sandiy Sun 15-Sep-13 10:41:34

I have no clue how it happened as its through CSA I assume he emptied his bank account or something.I just would like some sort of recognition or apology.I do wonder if it's a control thing though.My life just keeps getting better since we seperated while his is a bit crap(his own fault) to be honest.But this month I'm skint because of the uniform school shoe thing I do wonder if that was deliberate as he knows how much it all costs. Anyway it's not a massive problem I will just rejig a bit it just means that I can t get some things my son needed for his residential trip straight away.My son gets quite stressed if things don t go as planned so will have to deal with that as well.

TwoStepsBeyond Sun 15-Sep-13 10:16:52

How can he decide not to pay it, is there any recourse to get it repaid? What a shitty system.

My ex has withheld some of his maintenance before because he just didn't have it spare (& obviously I'm rolling around in spare cash here hmm ). I managed to recoup it by offering to go halves on a big present for one of the DCs which he paid for, and then when he asked me for my half I said "you can take it out of what you owe me" - felt so fucking good!

I tried to explain to him that withholding money was like me going up and taking his wallet, extracting £200 and saying "I took some money off you because I'm a bit short". I think it sunk in as he hasn't done it since.

sandiy Sun 15-Sep-13 09:46:44

Ex decided not to pay CSA this month.It takes ages to go from his account to mine so he had plenty of time to warn me that it would nt be coming.Im really really cross.Iv just had to buy new school shoes trainers uniform etc to get them back to school.Pay for school trips dinner money everything as usual so I'm really skint.Also due to the new girlfriends behaviour towards the children they hav nt spent much time with him so I hav nt been able to work any overtime which usually gets me out of a tough spot.Also means that I have to buy extra food entertainment etc.Why could he just not have the decency to warn me I would have been a bit more careful in my spending so would nt be in this crappy situation.Why is it that non resident parents think its fine just not to bother,I can't just say sorry kids I've got more important things to spend my money on I'm not supporting you this month. Rant over.

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