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Is it true that contact always ends up unsupervised ..

(37 Posts)
motheroflight Fri 13-Sep-13 22:31:40

apart from in the worst cases of violence and drug abuse.
Cafcass have supervised for a while but it has come down to the fact that they can't afford to do it anymore and are happier with exH's parenting more than ever before. He was violent to both DCs and myself at different times and had a caution wrt myself but no proper evidence wrt DC. At first they identified exH parenting as crap and sent him off to courses etc but a year on, they don't really want to be involved anymore. I trialled an unsupervised where I remained within the same large venue - Dcs were reluctant but well-mannered so ultimately complied and made the best of it. Now I am terrified that I have paved the way for real unsupervised contact despite his previous violence (which I don't believe has changed and can't be assessed by obs when exH was on best behaviour). Are there any intermediate options that I can propose or have I paved the way for a typical contact schedule now that I foolishly agreed to supervise myself?

lostdad Tue 17-Sep-13 17:48:48

FNF doesn't have McKenzie Friends, Kittycat. It has a list of McKenzie Friends but many of them aren't members and never have been. Everyone on the list has signed up to the charter concerning their behaviour however.

I am a McKenzie Friend but that stands alone from my membership of FNF.

Out of interest - what organisation are you part of?

kittycat68 Tue 17-Sep-13 18:03:00

Can u tell me then WHY at court they say they are from FNF?
I am aware they dont reprent the charity, but thats often not what they say! Also had one Mckenzie friend not only stating they were from FNF but also they were a trained barrister, which they were not! ( which i will say the judge wasnt to happy about).
Perhaps its mearly trying to scare the other party?

lostdad Wed 18-Sep-13 13:17:06

Probably worth reading this:

I would strongly urge you to contact FNF if there is a McKenzie Friend claiming to be acting on behalf of the charity.

I am aware of one McKenzie Friend who is a qualified lawyer but like every other one he doesn't work on behalf of the charity.

BTW - what organisation did you say you were part of Kittycat?

kittycat68 Thu 19-Sep-13 10:06:31

quite frankly lostdad i have better things to do than report people who clearly are on an agenda.
My job is to support the parent that i am dealing with.
I have been aware of some parents using FNF and Mckenzie friends for some years and it never ceases to amaze me some of the comments that come from its members.I do not feel it relevent to state which organisation/company i am associated with because my comments on this forum are from my experience , to state the name that you are connected to refelects on that organisation! As in your case and alot of your comments on this site saying you are a Mckenzie freind and an connected to FNF reflect on both your self and FNF!

kittycat68 Thu 19-Sep-13 10:07:26

ops meant Mckenzie Friend grin

lostdad Thu 19-Sep-13 10:24:11

Kittycat I'm shocked that while you clearly feel that children's best interests are being damaged you `have better things to do than report people who clearly are on an agenda'.

This being the case I can quite understand why you won't mention the organisation you work for.

I'm also a little confused about how you managed to fit attacking me on this forum too as you're clearly a very busy person.

3xcookedchips Thu 19-Sep-13 10:25:18

Hi Kitty,

do you support just mothers or do fathers fall within your remit too?

FNF supports, fathers, mothers and grandparents too.

kittycat68 Thu 19-Sep-13 10:33:21

no support both men and women or whomever.

I am aware what and whom FNF supports.

I am also aware 3xcookedchips you always post immediately after lostdad!!! if someone puts something he doesnt like. coincidence? i think not!
Nobodys attacking you lostdad that is mearly your perception when someone doesnt agree with you, which sometimes i dont.

lostdad Thu 19-Sep-13 10:36:51

YOU always post immediately after me Kittycat too.

Is that a coincidence too? wink

3xcookedchips Thu 19-Sep-13 10:54:50


I'm sorry you feel that way but lostdad posts on here quite regularly and quite regularly attracts opposing opinions, I'm sure he's a big boy now and can look after himself.

I follow your posts from time to time - not always but I'm always interested in the background to someone's opinion and how, why they have been formed.

I too have come across terrible McKenzies and have reported them. I've also come across rubbish builders, solicitors, waiters, middle managers, Directors.

Because you have been involved in quite a few court cases I'm interested to know if that's in a professional capacity or just as a member of public supporting an LIP?

Do you view an organisation such as FNF as the enemy?

This would add a lot of weight to what you have said/commented in the past etc. Other posters would then be in a better position to rely on your advice.


kittycat68 Thu 19-Sep-13 11:19:07

I dont see FNF as the enemy. I see the welfare and rights of children being sorely overlooked, especially if its an abuse situation, where more often than not the abusive parent is an FNF member and sometimes with a Mckenzie Friend.
This is not to say that most of my cases are abusive or that i am against people being membes of FNF, they do have some helpful advice.
Perhaps i should take lostdads advic and report any mckenzie Friend that claims to be from

However my appolgies to the OP as her thread has somwhat been hijacked!flowers

Pickturethis Thu 19-Sep-13 11:26:03


You post a lot of advice, are you a legal person or an advocate?

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