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i am so unbelievably fed up of being single

(8 Posts)
YoureBeingADick Wed 11-Sep-13 11:18:38

it's getting beyond a joke now. late 20's, everybody is getting engaged, married, buying houses together, going on couples holidays and i'm still in the same position I was 8 years ago- single parent, no other half or even brief romances. exp left 3 years ago and met his now fiancée 3 months after we split, they've bought a house and are getting married next year. people I know have split up and met new people in a matter of months. how? i'm aware my situation doesn't help- I have no cash to go out socially, I work by myself, for myself so no colleagues and I rarely meet my clients, I have very few friends and those that I do have have as little money as I do so we don't go out- we sit in. I tried POF for about 6 months but it was actually costing me quite a lot of money just to even get to the 'dates' as there doesn't seem to be any people near to me, or at least none I was interested. and then when I got there there would be no chemistry or the person wasn't as they said they were or just not my type or I wasn't theirs. I never got a second date. so I deleted the account, waste of time and money for me. I got up the courage a few months ago to let someone I fancied know I was interested. they reciprocated, we went on a date and then nothing. when he did get back in touch I asked him why he's gone no contact and he said he didn't want a relationship confused so why start out as if you do? or maybe he was sparing my feelings? I don't even trust my own judgement now as clearly I cannot read the signals. how the hell am I supposed to meet anyone? I am so crap at this.

cestlavielife Wed 11-Sep-13 13:16:25

arrange mutual babysitting circle, -join a a volunteering group locally, night classes, volunteer at school etcetc. build a broader social circle then you never know. change job?

TheOrchardKeeper Wed 11-Sep-13 13:19:17

As a fellow LP (who has just finished a stressful relationship), trust me when I say the grass is greener grin

Besides that I have no useful advice, sorry! (And it sounds like he just didn't want anything 'serious').

Meglet Wed 11-Sep-13 13:34:53

I have no idea how people do it either. I've been single for almost 5yrs. Work and the kids has to come first, any random spare hour I spend at the gym. My last evening out was december confused. If I didn't work, or had a break from the dc's every so often then it wouldn't be so hard to meet someone. But I can't change that, so I just grumble on here.

Also, XP was abusive so I am very scared he would flare up if he thought there was the potential of the kids having a stepdad. We've not heard from him in 4yrs and I want to keep it that way.

sparkleshine Wed 11-Sep-13 16:42:04

Single mummy here too, for 2 1/2 years, and had 1 brief relationship in all that time. Not met anyone. Also tried POF but no men reply if I message so pretty useless. ExP (DS dad) is getting married this month as well though frankly they can have each other.
In some ways I love it. I get time to do what I want when I want outside of work, but would also like to meet someone. Just need motivation to get out man hunting.

YoureBeingADick Wed 11-Sep-13 18:47:33

thank you all for responses.

I am changing job although not sure that will help me much as i'm registering to be a CMer, unless there are lots of single dads needing childcare grin

it's very hard to arrange mutual babysitting. as I said I have very few friends and we all have different things going on that would make it impossible for any of us to commit to a weekly arrangement. best friend and I have just had to cancel plans to attend a 2 hour poetry reading on sat as her EXP has let her down with childcare. and I never know until I've been let down by exp that i'm going to be let down. he apparently hasn't mastered the telephone hmm. mutual babysitting just isn't possible for us.

volunteering is a possibility depending on work.

nightclasses- again- no babysitter and money I don't have.

I do love living on my own- I don't want to be moving in with anyone or getting married any time soon but It would just be nice to have someone in my life that cared about me and I enjoyed being with.

Jennynero Wed 18-Sep-13 21:20:06

I'm in exactly the same boat. Late 20's, been single for over 2 years after being married for 8 years to an abusive arse and at least 4 friends and my sister got married this year. Tried POF and met a guy who I was crazy about but he turned out to be an arse too and it's so hard to trust again after being in an abusive relationship. I've deleted my account as I have too much going on and no sitter for dates.

I have no friends outside of work and can never get a babysitter. It's so disheartening to think that this is it, I might never be in a truly loving and functional relationship and i'm not getting any younger so if it's hard to meet guys now, what will it be like in my 30's/40's. I'm also so tired of being bored and lonely, there is nothing to look forward to. Being a single Mum sucks big time (although it beats being with an abusive mofo!!!)

Sending hugs smile

YoureBeingADick Wed 18-Sep-13 22:11:15

aww thank you jenny. hugs right back at you grin

yes it's the thought that this could be it for the rest of my life. I've probably only got about 15 years before the dcs are spreading their wings- I don't think I could cope with just my own company day in day out.

I have a couple of aunts who have been single since their 20's after leaving abusive relationships (now both 50's) and I just couldn't imagine getting to that age and still not having someone.

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