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EX instructing me to make my plans to 'reflect the DC's needs'

(28 Posts)
chocoreturns Wed 04-Sep-13 14:48:43

Because he wants to return them early on his weekend, and I'll be travelling back from visiting friends, so I asked him to arrange for his mum or someone else to help out. I'll be a 3.5 hour drive away and won't be there to collect them 2 hours early. He sees them for 48 hours a fortnight, never any more. 2 overnights a month. This is his choice.

I just needed a little rant and some sympathy about how arrogant and impossible he is, its crap when the father of your DC literally doesn't give a shit about them day to day. XH thinks it's my job to raise them, his privillege to play with them when he can be arsed.

I've made the mistake of asking for help with a big purchase once before and was told to budget better. Now, on his weekend, he expects me to change my plans to be home for them early so he doesn't have to change his own.

It's just the unbelievable wankerishness of him telling me that I should make my plans to reflect their needs, as if I don't do this every single day!!! It's him who is more or less invisible when they actually need something!


chocoreturns Fri 06-Sep-13 16:16:42

No court order, only private arrangements, all of which have been instigated by me.

I saw my doctor today and he's arranging for some conselling. He says he thinks I am suffering stomach aches/asthma flare up and exhaustion due to the stress I'm under and has made it clear he thinks the only way of improving things is to get as far away from the man as possible. He actually reminded me that the only times I've not been unwell in the past 18 months have been when the ex wasn't in contact sad how sad is that? I need to get a grip on things and sort it out. It shouldn't be affecting me so much.

Sometimes I wake up and wonder how on earth we met, married and had children in the first place. Was I so completely blind??

Anyway before this turns into a total pity party for one I just want to say thank you for all the sympathy and support xx

Thumbwitch Fri 06-Sep-13 16:26:03

Perhaps you should counter-threaten him with a court order then since he has no qualms about threatening you.
See how he likes it.

Private arrangements with wankstains like him always leave people like you, choco, in the shit, sadly - because they take the piss. sad

Bonsoir Sat 07-Sep-13 09:22:59

It sounds like you need a legally binding agreement about the DC.

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