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Lone parents navigating the dating scene

(15 Posts)
MsCellophane Mon 15-Jul-13 12:33:19

Been reading lots of threads lately and realised dating for lone parents is very different

We don't get to meet many other singletons and don't get out without much organisation

So, we can chat here about how we are getting on, who's in?

I'm divorced mum of 4 - all grown up but one has a disability which means I can't get out as much as I would like

Am currently on POF but it has gone very quiet, I think the sunshine is to blame

DonutForMyself Mon 15-Jul-13 13:25:51

Hello. Why not pop over to the other dating threads - I tried to start my own last year and was advised to join them - its very fast moving (they have a lot going on!) but there are always new people joining and they are happy to explain any of the long-running stuff if you ask.

I did the OD thing last year, only went on POF as I'm too tight to pay for any of the others and won't hear a bad word said about it! I met some lovely blokes, one of whom I'm still with 10 months later. Our DCs get on great, we have had some lovely family times together and my DCs love him to bits.

We introduced our kids quite early on because I couldn't get a babysitter for our planned night out so he suggested we take my DCs with us to the cinema and watch a kids film.

I think the key is to meet up with anyone you fancy pretty quickly, don't waste time messaging etc in case they are not what you are looking for in real life. If you get on well you can always find a way to meet somewhere, somehow, whether its for lunch or inviting him round for dinner at yours etc. People worry about introducing new partners, but especially with older DCs, they will understand that not everyone you get involved with will be the love of your life.

Enjoy the sunshine and wait for those little fishies to come swimming back when it cools down!

watchforthesnail Mon 15-Jul-13 14:04:26

Hey hey hey smile

Im in.

Im a single parent of a 7 year old. divorced and have been single for coming up to 5 years.

Ive dated a ton, clearly havent met anyone decent, and have a list of horror/amusing stories as long as your arm.

re joined pof and okc at lunchtime today. only message so far is from an 18 year old asking if i would like to have sex with him hmm

DonutForMyself Mon 15-Jul-13 14:55:18

He he! This is probably not the best time of year for it actually is it?! All the schools breaking up etc.

VelvetSpoon Mon 15-Jul-13 21:33:52

Count me in too smile

Single parent of a 12 and almost 15 year old.

Aside from 7 months not quite in a relationship with a man who ultimately dumped me by silence a month or so ago, I have been single since the start of 2009.

I am generally a magnet for perverts, shaggers, and the plain weird. Hoping that on the back of actually meeting 1 decentish man (albeit he loses massive points for the manner of the dumping) my luck might improve...but not holding my breath!

About to sign up for a free 3 day thing with Match, and wait for the messages to trickle flood in...


watchforthesnail Tue 16-Jul-13 07:39:08

I got a three day thing. And its thrown up one of two possible ones along with a date for saturday. I literally know nothing about him but am going because 1) he asked 2) i quite fancy a beer garden sat afternoon 3) i brought a new dress for the date that was cancelled last night and now ill get to wear it.... He seems ok i have no expectations.

equinox Tue 16-Jul-13 17:40:17

Well I find it hard on the single scene as I find it hard to trust a man these days ....

I was ok about trust more or less until the ex overstepped the mark last October and since then I haven't been feeling too settled and feel I would be too challenging as a prospective girlfriend to anybody right now! I would only be looking for evidence that they either don't care or are no good.

I have tried dating a few but the internet scene I have found quite frankly horrendous nobody hardly ever any good has been on there in my experience and the ones that I did like tended to live far away.

The only tip I would suggest for anybody considering dating anyone online would be to ask certain pertinent questions first before wasting your trip e.g. occupation/hobbies/interests/no of children/whether divorced or not to get an idea before wasting your time and money in endless petrol and driving over to places getting nowhere with it!

Good luck to anybody who can face it lol.

watchforthesnail Wed 17-Jul-13 07:38:24

I also have a date for friday evening. Hes a writer, i fancy him already.
And then saturday afternoon, with a technical archietect, who i dont fancy.

i dont expect either of them to get past the first date, but, its sunny, beer garden in the evening/ afternoon, is a good thing smile

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 18-Jul-13 14:17:34

Hi all

I've been on POF for a year now. Have met 14 people and been stood up by 3 others lol!

I too have some colourful stories but to date I have had none that I've been interested in for a multitude of different reasons (!!), a lot of people who are not at all what they seemed online, one peck on the lips and one guy that I am quite good friends with. The search continues! But I spend zero time chatting on the site now. Swapping numbers early is a great way to avoid wasting time with timewasters. Even then some ppl just want a texty penpal. A lot of the nice single guys are put off I'm sure by the fact that I have children so I have met up with a good few deperados! I've a few to meet up with over the summer... Hard to expect any good ones to swim into my net though! I have seriously considered not mentioning the kids on my profile and bringing it up should it be relevant. No doubt I will get slaughtered on here for saying that but really... if I met someone the normal way, the fact I have kids wouldn't be relevant straight away...

Mags11 Thu 18-Jul-13 20:59:44

ooh can anyone help with the 3 free day trial for Match please?
Just keeps taking me to the 'tell us more about yourself' page - no suggestion of a freebie that I can fathomconfused

Squeegle Fri 19-Jul-13 13:13:27

I've been on okcupid and POF. To be honest I've found it all good fun- particularly as like you I can't go out very often. I have had some excellent Internet chats which have livened up dull evenings, and even some excellent flirts with much younger men; even though I didn't want anything out if it was good fun

Okcupid is better I think because if the questions and the matching % they work out for you after you've answered the questions.

But having said that I met a lovely chap from POF, he has lots of kids, so we see each other very rarely, but it is great fun, and I wouldn't have met him any other way. I always specify people with kids- men without kids just don't understand that kids have to come first, and that you don't have much time, especially if you work FT as well.

I would really recommend it- but definitely not to take it all too seriously. Treat it as fun and it will be. There are some funny people on there- sure, but there are some funny ones at my work too!!

Squeegle Fri 19-Jul-13 13:15:39

PS, I am 47, so thought I would be too old, but there does still seem to be some demand for oldies! Even from youngies! Although I did pretend I was 45!
PPS. Tried match, but didn't have any success and had to pay handsomely as forgot to cancel subscription. Free ones better IMHO.

watchforthesnail Fri 19-Jul-13 22:04:27

i am back from the most excellent of dates smile

country pub, walk by the river, followed by snogging on bank like a pair of teenagers.... and an ask for a second date before the end of the date.

hes lovely smile

Squeegle Sat 20-Jul-13 10:52:51

Hey, watchforthesnail that is excellent news. What site is he from?

watchforthesnail Sat 20-Jul-13 13:01:55


and hes just text me

so im going to assume the asking for a second date was a real thing and not just one of those things that was said.

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